the thread with Yao's father's quotes got me thinking. . . I know that, in America, it is our culture that once a young person becomes an "adult", which we figure happens somewhere between age 18 and age 25, that person begins to break away from his parents. by "break away", I mean that he starts to listen less to what his parents think and say about decisions, and that person makes decisions for himself. I'm wondering how it works in Chinese culture. Yao's father mentioned that he would teach Yao "serious lessons", and the poster added that he was kind of kidding. but I was just wondering. . . I mean, Yao is 22 years old. do the Chinese ever try to become very independent of their parents, or is the culture different? and if so, at what age or point in life does that transition begin to happen? is it common for Chinese parents to live with their children all their lives? I know many other cultures outside America are known for treating their elderly much differently than we treat ours. sorry if this is a culturally-ignorant question. it's only because I'm culturally-ignorant.
I'm not chinese, but I'm Asian so I have some insight. In Asian cultures there is great respect for parents and older people in general. You always listen to what your parents say. You never stop doing that. However as you get older, you make more of your own decisions based on the knowledge and advise you get from your elders. Also, it is not uncommon for for Asian children to live with their parents until they get married. That has do both cultural and economic reasons. Homes and cars are quite expensive compared to salaries in other countries outside the US. You are also not considered "grown up" until you are married and have kids. Atleast your mom doesn't stop worrying about you until then. This is very different compared to American culture where it is quite normal for children to leave the house when they are 18(highschool) or 22(college). American parents actually encourage it. Where in Asian cultures, it parents often want there kids around as much as possible. I'm 30 years old and my mom would love to have me back in the house with my wife. Remember, I am speaking in generalities. There are always exceptions. I hope this helps.
Well, I'm an ethnic Chinese, male in mid-20s. Will be married in one or two years. I'm capable of supporting myself and my future family even with my financial standing now. And I plan on having my parents to stay with me so that I can take care of them. Actually the sentiment around my other friends and relatives is that it is almost automatically expected that parents will stay with one of their children. It is not an issue.
I'd say the vast majority of Chinese parents live with at least one of their children, married or not. That is expected in the culture. Yes, parents expect children to listen to them, even when they are grown ups. Whether they actually do listen is another matter (especially when the child makes more money in one year than the parents did their whole life).
Most American kids "break-away" when they are 13 and return when they are 18. Who else is gonna pay for college Here's a excerpt from "Spotlight on Confucius:" "The ideal Chinese family would be defined as a paternal, extended family. In such a family structure, the male children were by definition, considered the most important. The boys would provide labor for the fields and hopefully candidates for the civil service exams. As the family grew in size, security would be provided for the adults in their old age. This insured that there would always be males around to look after the elderly. The Confucian concept of filial piety assigned the duty of caring for the family elders to the young. "
I'm chinese and in our culture it is important to respect the parents. This means taken care of them when they are old and continue to respect them. Although I left home at 22 , my brother who is now 47 still lives with them and they have a reciprocal relationship where they take care of one another. It is not surprising that Yao continually mentions his father and parents. He feels responsibility to take care of them. You'll see this is rather common.
