The day after Thanksgiving (or "Black Friday" as I like to call it), at least traffic wise, is the busiest day of the year for consumers. No, everybody there isn't necessarily buying anything, but a lot of people just like to go out to the mall to see what kind of sales stores have and also to work of some of those Thanksgiving calories. Most people I know tend to avoid the malls like a Rockets home game on Black Friday, but I love it because I can exact my revenge on parking lot vultures... In case you don't know, parking lot vultures are those lazy schmucks that like to wait 20 minutes for a parking space to open up. These people are ruthless. They will literally follow somebody out of the mall, inching behind them, waiting for them to finish unloading their car, just to take thier space. This pisses me off so badly, you don't know it. These nimrods are going to spend the next two or three hours walking around a mall, yet god forbid they have to walk an extra fifty feet to get to another parking space. These people are also, without exception, either: a) fat b) old Come on, people. It's really simple. If you're fat, then the extra excercise you'll get from walking a few extra feet will do you some good. If you're old, then get a handicapped sticker. It's not like they're THAT hard to get in the first place. Well, the day after thanksgiving is the PERFECT time to get the vultures back. What you do is you get to the mall really early and get a good space. Well, Baybrook mall on Friday filled up pretty early, but I still got a good space about a third of the way back from which to work. I got a CD rack from Suncoast and somebody from the store was using a dolly to carry it out for me. Lo and behold, this old battle axe driving an SUV spotted us and went into vulture mode instantly. She inched behind us, then stopped the second I opened my trunk. I told the Suncoast employee to take her time getting our purchase in the car. Then, I got in the car, backed out a few feet, then pulled back into the space, acting like I forgot something... Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've had a 75 year old lady flip you the bird. I could have done this AGAIN about an hour later, but my wife was getting a little tired from walking. If you time it right, you could literally do this all day long. It is really therapeutic and relieves a lot of the stress from holiday shopping. Give it a try sometime!
Take the car out 1 ft, stop. Hazard lights. Pop hood and scratch chin. Close hood. Pull in 1ft. Repeat.
I did that to someone once. I caught them following me out of a very crowded Wal-mart. After I got in my car, I put it into reverse (so the reverse lights would show up), then I went back into park. I opened the glove compartment, got all the papers out and put them on my lap. Then I took out the recent issue of SI and started reading it. After 4 minutes, the lady gets out of her car and knocks on my window. I open it and she asks, "are you leaving or not?" I said "not" and she huffed and puffed her way back to her car and peeled off. ahh, talk about therapeutic!
Funny story, I hate that too. How about the Salvation Army bell ringers, sheez, they get on my nerves.
and those damn Girl Scouts who hawk their wares outside of retail stores and grocery chains! They come up to you with a pathetic look in their eyes as if to say "I'm trying to sell these cookies in the middle of a torturous Texas summer because I have an overbearing and cheap mom who wants me to win the bicycle for outselling the other girls in my scout troop so she doesn't have to shell out $100 bucks at Christmas time"... maybe if they brought their much older sisters around they'd sell more of them!
C'mon, man! How can you bash the girl scouts? At least girl scout cookies serve a purpose, as well as being damn tasty... Oh, and girl scout cookies are sold in January and February!
girl scout cookies are the product of the devil! i hate getting harassed at my door, at shopping outlets, and by eager mothers at work. This practice must be put to a stop! If i ate cookies, I'd go out and buy them. I don't need to be knocked over the head with them every year. plus they make you feel so guilty for turning them down. they're sold in January, huh? guess i'll stay unemployed until at least March now.
what I love to do is block the scum who try to pass everyone and cut in line when 2 lanes merge to one, for construction or staled vehicle, etc. after blocking them, I then go out of my way to continue blocking them with the assistance of another driver once the road turns back into two lanes again. The scum are usually trying to speed in a 35 mph zone anyhow, when everyone else is going the speed limit. Further, I will drop back to the other blockers back bumper, to see the scum change lanes thinking he found the faster driver. After he changes lanes, I will then speed up to the my fellow blockers front bumper to see the scum change lanes behind me. back and forth. It infuriates them. And they seem oblivious to the fact I'm doing it on purpose.
Well I have a story that just happened yesterday. I was in WalMart yesterday getting some Christmas Lights for my house. I was going to check out in the garden center but there were about 15 people in line. I decided to go to the 20 items or less lane that is fairly close to the garden center. I got in line behind about 4 people. After standing in line about 2 minutes I notice this woman 3 carts up with about 60 items in her basket. I started thinking GD people don't read and/or don't care that this is a 20 ITEMS OR LESS line. Well she gets up to the front of the line and starts to empty items from her cart. She gets about half way thru and stops. She goes up to the check writing stand and watches the girl ring up half her items. She then pulls out her credit card and pays for half the stuff. she then proceeds back to her cart and unloads the second half of her stuff. After the girl rings her up she says "oh I forgot to tell you I need this stuff for WIC" SO they go thru that process and come to find out the women has more than her alottment(I don't really know how WIC works so this might not be completely accurate) of Milk. So they start arguing about something to do with that. The argument lasts a couple of minutes and the cashier finally just says forget it. She hand the receipt to the woman and proceeds to put her bags in her cart. When she finishes she realizes she has forgotten to write something from the receiptdown and needs to see it. WELL by now the woman has forgotten where she put the receipt, so they spend another minute or two trying to find it. The store was extremely crowded so going to another line probably would not have saved me any time. It was just the principle of the matter. If she had like 22-23 items that would have been one thing but 60 things is a bit much even if you are seperating them out into 2 sections. I guess the other thing that annoys me about those lines are people that get 50 canned goods and count them as 1 item. Like I'm sorry sir but you have 50 things there this is a 10 items or less line. "No,No. I only have one thing. They are all canned goods." CK
Some people are complete idiots! This happened to me a few weeks ago at JC Penney. I parked three spaces down from the entrance in a crowded lot. Needless to say, I was very pleased. After a long day of shopping, Tara and I are getting into the car to leave when this person stops half a car length behind me, ready to take my spot. I really don't have a problem with this as there is no traffic and she didn't stalk me to get the parking space. What I had a problem with is this. As I try to pull out, she doesn't budge an inch. She stays waiting RIGHT where she is. There is nobody behind her but she won't back up to let me get out. I inched back to her bumper and she STILL didn't budge. I throw the car into park and sit there waiting for her to move. After a little over a minute, I simply pulled back into my spot, opened the windows, and turned off the car. After a few minutes, she finally got the hint that she blew it and I was not going to leave until she did. The instant she passed and somebody else was able to take the spot, I turned the car on, pulled out, and gloated as she parked down in no-mans land parking! Ahhhh, it's the little pleasures in life...
Wow! I don't go shopping at malls often but whenever someone waits for me to pull out of my spot, I always feel pressured to move quickly. After reading this thread, I guess I won't rush next time.
A-Train, excellent story. I will make sure to do that from now on. I hate how they hawk on me and stuff when I pull out. I don't mind parking near the back, because when I go to WalMart or the Mall, I already know what I want. I work in a grocery store, and I hate when I am at an express line, and they come through my line for WIC. It takes six or seven mintues to go through each item. And i really hate it when they have the wrong items, or they are over the alottment. But I try to be nice when I say you can have this also too. I think people don't care about the 20 item limit at walmart. It's not that they can read or not, it's just that they don't give a rats ass. I'd say something, but I just don't want to start ****. Yeah That is it.
What is the problem with moving your car quickly, if you are ready to leave, and letting someone else have your prime spot? Move your ass!! Sometimes I like to park close if the weather is bad or if I know I'll have a lot of stuff to carry. My parking lot pet peeve comes from those lazy f*cks who refuse to put their shopping carts in the cart return area put out in the lot specifically for the purpose. I would love to find that person and ram a car into their ride to show them what happens when they leave a cart in a space.
I was at memorial city mall one time and I see one car leave and pull into the open spot. I get out of my car and this woman pulls up and starts yelling at me that I took her spot. I was like "no I didn't." She was no where near that spot. Its not like I hauled a** into the spot or anything. I guess either she thought if she saw it before me it was hers or something. For all I know she could have just been lying. She proceeds to get louder with me and I just start staring at her like she is insane (which is what I was really thinking) and she starts telling me why dont I be a gentleman and let her have the space. I gave her no reply. I was actually getting worried that she may try to spray with me with some mace or something. She gets louder and and goes on about the gentleman thing and I just continued to stare with no response. She called me a freaking a hole and burned off. Peeling out of course. I didn't know a parking spot could mean so much to some people. Oh yeah I love blocking people on the freeway too.
