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I have 7,047 cubic inches of paper

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Cohete Rojo, Jun 29, 2011.

  1. Cohete Rojo

    Cohete Rojo Member

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    And it all needs to be destroyed, without a paper shredder, are you game?

    I have three ideas of my own:

    1. Fire - Burning makes smoke, creates heat and can be hazardous. So it is basically down to two options.

    2. Decomposition - I can mulch it or find a bacteria or something that can eat paper. However, this process is slow.

    3. Non-traditional shredder - I can use a tree grinder (chipper shredder) to shread paper, but the small and loose nature of the individual pieces of paper make it difficult for each page to be properly shredded. So I will need to use an adhesive to bind and harden the pieces of paper to each other - making a stronger member that can be processed by the blades.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. Xerobull

    Xerobull ...and I'm all out of bubblegum
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    Build a worm composter, throw it in.
     
  3. lpbman

    lpbman Member

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    Soak and add some starch to bind for a chipper shredder. Could also add some dyes for obscuring text.
     
  4. Joshfast

    Joshfast "We're all gonna die" - Billy Sole
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    throw it down a sewer.
     
  5. Festeral Otto

    Festeral Otto Member

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    This is the best idea. Chipper will cost you $200 to rent.
     
  6. jcee15

    jcee15 Member

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    Make it rain
     
  7. fallenphoenix

    fallenphoenix Member

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    make a paper mache statue of yao
     
  8. BetterThanI

    BetterThanI Member

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  9. professorjay

    professorjay Member

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    Run over it with my car.
     
  10. CrazyDave

    CrazyDave Member

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    Is this one of those lame new age interview questions?

    Or wait... I know.

    NONE OF THE ABOVE.
    I have the computer reprogram the scenario to eliminate the threat of the paper juggernaut attack. CHECK MATE! I beat the unbeatable scenario!

    Tell him what he's won, Bob!
     
  11. SwoLy-D

    SwoLy-D Member

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    Isn't it measured in weight? :confused: How do we know you don't have space in between those pieces of paper? VOLUME is for packages and containers... so... why not measure it in weight?

    You mentioned it needs to be "destroyed", so I will assume you will not put it to a good use... so all my recycling ideas have gone down the drain... down the drain... down the drain... ;)
     
  12. liljojo

    liljojo Member

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    Spitball war.
     
  13. Northside Storm

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    what kind of paper?

    donate it to charity, I'd say.

    unless it's like poison paper, or something.
     
  14. Mr. Clutch

    Mr. Clutch Member

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    That's what she said.
     
    1 person likes this.
  15. srrm

    srrm Member

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    4 cubic feet of paper isn't so bad.
    Soak it in a bathtub of water. Transfer to the sink and mash it up with the in-sink garbage disposal.
     
  16. droopy421

    droopy421 Member

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    So you're saying shred the evidence?

    [​IMG]
     
  17. YaosDirtyStache

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    Put it in the banana stand
     
  18. Cohete Rojo

    Cohete Rojo Member

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    Like the feedback and it is giving me some ideas. First I want to give some more info.

    The papers are your typical 8.5" by 11" and contain confidential information no longer pertinent for their use. So it's sort of a "for your eyes only" type thing. Recycling and throwing them down a sewer are options we just cannot consider. And yes, I do have a yard waste shredder.

    However, I am really going for the whole "soak them in water approach", something I hadn't even thought about. Now what I am thinking is this: soaking these papers in a container roughly the size of a cheap curb side garbage and installing some sort of jet or propeller to either agitate the water or stir the papers up to the point of complete comprehensible breakdown.

    Things I am thinking of using for the jet or propeller system:

    1. Weedeater - Basically just soak everyingthing, turn the weedeater on and shove it into the water. You may ask why then use water. I think the water will help cut down on loose paper, keeping it more organized and managable.

    2. Boat Propeller - Don't have one. Kind of expensive. Could possibly find a good deal online (i.e. craigslist or ebay) but would need an extention rod to submerge the propeller deep enough into the trash can. May also destroy trash can.

    3. Lawn Mower - Have one but the has the same problems as the boat propeller.

    4. Air compressor - I don't have one, but they are readily available at pawn shops and Walmart. May not create a powerful enough water jet to completely destroy the papers.

    5. Pressure washer - I think this could get the job done best, but I don't own one and only rent them when the neighbors throw down.

    I am also open to doing a sort of "half-and-half": destroying some papers with water and throwing the rest of the papers into a mulch pile or worm pit.
     
  19. lpbman

    lpbman Member

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    If you cook them, the boil will tear the paper apart and the ink will totally bleed.
     
  20. liljojo

    liljojo Member

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    If you eat them, nobody will want to search through your poop to piece them back together.
     

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