I don't know how old you are so I'm not sure if this is possible. Being strong for your mother (since you know she is taking this very hard) is a priceless gift you could give to her. You can't imagine how much it would take a load off her shoulders if she doesn't have to worry so much about you and you end up being a strength to her. Take my word: It can be an overwhelming burden for women who are mothers and wives to have an ill parent. This sounds so obvious but, from my observation, people just don't seem to get it. Sad but true. Definitely don't neglect your own need to grieve, but try to lean on someone other than your mother.
OP, not that you'll have the final say, but I hope your grandparent can go more for hospice care, or moving in with your parents, than for the aggressive full-court press of chemo, radiation and surgery. Here's a very blunt but important and powerful article on the subject by a doctor. The writer is absolutely amazing and writes lots of insightful and non-political essays about how we take care of people. http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/08/02/100802fa_fact_gawande All best wishes for you and your family.
htownrox1 - My grandfather also passed of liver cancer a little more than 5 years ago. It was tough watching him go through it, very tough. As hard as it may be you have to put your strong foot forward and lend as many helping hands as they need. Your grandfather is gonna need all the strength he can get. Be there for him, cherish him through his frustrations, and remember as much as you can. They gave my grandfather 6 months several times...he lived almost 4 years. He will be in my prayers.
So sorry to hear man. I lost my grandmother to liver cancer this past year. It's been very tough. I just hope you can make the most of the time you have left, and that you and your family are there for each other. All you can do is be there and try and be strong for each other, and be grateful that your grandparent has been as big a part of your life as they have been. Good luck to you.
I know this thread is for Htownrox but I have to say that is terrible to die from cancer so young. One of my Judo students is going through chemo for testicular cancer right now and he is only 23. The good thing is that he is responding well to treatment.
I wanna say thank you all to the encouraging replies and comments, it does mean a lot.. So I guess there's a little update on the situation.. My grandpa agreed to come and live in Houston with one of my Aunts, so we will all get to see him whenever we want, and that is going to be great. He needs to be with someone all the time. I hoped he could live with me and my family, but realistically there is just no room. I personally talked to the Doctor and he said his type of cancer cannot be treated through chemo or radiation. He said pretty much he either gets a liver transplant or he dies. This really sucks.. I've been reading that the liver grows back pretty fast, and it would be possible to give him part of my liver. I wouldn't mind, I just don't want him to suffer.
A little good news from a bad situation. It's really great that he will be surrounded with the people who love him the most as he walks through this. Like others have said, use that time to your advantage and spend as much time with him as possible. Most people don't get that luxury. That's very admirable and obviously a good idea, but...TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS....don't try to be so strong for others that you don't mourn yourself. Don't keep everything inside while trying to keep up the strong facade. You have to mourn too or you could have problems later on down the road. Embrace all the support people throw your way and don't forget to give yourself a chance to mourn. Really sorry you and your family are facing this. Really puts a perspective on other people's so-called "problems" doesn't it?
