hahhahahahaha this is exactly what I was doing. except my other hand was on the mouse. however im not jacking off or watching any p*rn. I just like keeping my pecker warm
Agree with this. I'm just saying that staying together just because, well "you reap what you sow" is silly. Either way, they need to make a decision quickly....before an accident happens and they are stuck together for the next 2 decades whether they like it or not.
There is nothing wrong with differing personalities. will she keep her job after kids though? many women say they will, but actually end up quitting. And you don't want kids, right? Thats a huge issue there. If she does and you dont...there will be nothing but misery for one of the persons in the relationship. How can you marry someone that doesnt get your sense of humour? yeah...checking out other women is a big problem. wow. there sure are a lot of Spoiler you guys really need to have a serious talk about your relationship
I was just kidding with him (which I'm fairly certain was evident - but better to clarify) ... but the answer to that is no, love me.. love my mood swings!
Sometimes, I feel like the only person I know that DOESN'T feel this way. My wife p*ssed me off 2 nights ago. I told her that she'd p*ssed me off, we had a 20 minute conversation about why, then had some hot make up s_x and a shot of vodka. Or maybe it was a shot of vodka and some hot make up s_x, but the order wasn't important. Everyone is different, but for us, a stream-of-consciousness-style dialog about how we're feeling about life and eachother seems to difuse major fights before they actually get "major." This has led to incedents like the following: She started crying about missing her father who died when she was young during a rockets/lakers playoff game last year while 10 minutes earlier we were having a casual conversation and enjoying the game. But that's why DVR is the greatest thing ever. Not to be a total homo, and not to rip off the thread title, but I love my wife. No elipses or qualifiers neccessary.
I don't think that people who are not married or have not been married at some point should be giving any type of advice in this thread. I said it before and so did a lot of other posters, try to go to joint counseling first to see if your situation is salvageable. I've had a few friends who were married in their early 20's end up leaving their wives and they still regret it. Because once you divorce her and all of a sudden a few months later you realize being single has it's own set of challenges, you start remembering all the good times and why you loved her in the first place. But it's too late at that point.
I've been married for close to 10 years and I'll tell you it's a lot of work. What you describe sounds like what happened to my high school/college GF, we just grew up and turned into different people. A total mismatch and after 5 years together we just ended it. It's not easy but if the divide is as big as it sounds, you'll just end up bitter if you continue down that road.
I agree, but marrying "the wrong person" isn't a mistake, it's just rushing into things or making bad judgments. Being lazy and not wanting to meet someone else halfway to settle differences is a mistake. The OP should meet his wife outside a coffee shop by the airport before work, take their clothes off and get it on, and let someone post a thread here on CF about it.
Yeah, the vast majority is Captain Vitriol and the Bitter Brigade (I can't exclude myself on occasion). It does keep out the Trolls, for the most part. Sift through the angry BS and there are some real gems, though.
Marriage is a roller coaster, ups and downs, rights and lefts and sometimes in loops. Either you are ok with that, or you aren't.....only you can decide. This is too tough, have you talked with your wife, or just posted it online? I mean, wouldn't a discussion with her be able to give you more of a direction, if you are feeling this way, the chances are she is too. Talk to each other, that is pretty much the only advice I can give you. DD
You say you've been working on it for six years aussie, but is this where you or she says something about it and then nothing changes? You can't "work" on a relationship without "changing" something. I know the cliche, I don't have to change or want to change. But to be married you (and her) have to change. You can't be your college or high schooler self and expect that to work in a mature relationship. Change is possible if you want to still be married. It sounds like you've got one foot out the door already, but does she know that? You can't go on pushing through the days like you seem to be doing and then one day down the road tell her you want a divorce because you've grown to dislike her so much. Perhaps she isn't even aware of the issues, maybe she doesn't know that something is wrong. Counseling will work wonders if you still want to be married. It opens your eyes to a certain degree. I was blindly just being my "high schooler" self before we went and I realized during counseling that I had to change, things had to change. But it was the same with him as well. And juicy is right, we're not fixed to perfection (but who wants to be) but we're definitely not "broken" anymore. :grin: I suggest you look for a counselor, just sitting down with her may not be working for you. And a real counselor is better, not a friend who will mediate, but someone who will listen without being one sided and will tell your wife to shut up when you are talking and vice versa.
this. you're reacting to her b****ing at you, and then you're bringing up all these other things that bother you. deal with one issue at a time. if she's b****ing, then think about where it's coming from. is she tired? dealing with crap at work. are there problems with family members? is she not sleeping or eating properly, etc. what is stressing her that causes her to take it out on you? once you consider some of the factors, then at least you have an understanding of where it's coming from (assuming you've done nothing to deserve it). or at least you can avoid making remarks or asking questions that aren't helping the situation. sometimes it helps just to let her vent and not react right away. it takes some maturity for people to recognize when they are misdirecting frustrations. it takes someone willing to ask themselves why they are irritated. OCCASSIONALY, you can even get an apology. :grin:
There is a HUGE difference between loving someone and being in love...loving someone is more like caring for them, watching out for them, but more on a friendly basis, like not wanting her to cry...being in love means you'd sacrifice anything and everything for this woman's happiness...that would mean going to counciling, changing anything that you needed to to make this work... I'm a selfish person, so I know if I'm love or not as if I am willing to give up or change something for someone, it's love...you can't stop thinking about her and there is no need to look at other woman in a sxual way... Look, no one can change but you, but honestly, you have to want to change...you can find that spark again, I promise, but both of you have to want to make it work...best of luck mate...
