actual caption: President Bush, second left, tries to get his dog Barney interested in going up the steps to Air Force One, as Bush prepares to depart Andrews Air Force Base, Tuesday, Aug. 6, 2002, in Maryland, en route to his Crawford, Texas, home. (AP Photo/Ken Lambert)
Barney: "Dammit dubya, I hate going to Crawford, there ain't nuthin' out there but cows and I don't mean Laura!"
Barney: Hey, you got to sniff this guy's crotch. I'm not going on the plane until I do, too. (alternatively, "Hey, you got to pee on this guy's shoes.....")
Barney: "I won't be saluted by anything less than a full bird colonel!" (those are sargents saluting)
Upon noticing the Men in Black & White approaching from afar, Barney the Alien Dog immediately tries to flee the scene.
Barney: "Hey dubya, oil... I smell oil... right HERE!!!! Call Cheney, tell him to get Halliburton out here, right now.... OIL!! Call Condy, tell her to get her ship ready! We got the motherload! Kenny Boy, we will put ENRON back in business with this find!"