Well, I broke up with my girlfriend about two months ago. Pretty painful, since we were together for about 1 1/2 years. So anyways, no one ever had a problem with it because we're both black. So anyways, about 2 weeks ago I meet this gorgeous, smart brunette who I am CRAZY about. She's beautiful, she has the same firm Christian beliefs as me, and I respect her so much. She doesn't smoke, drink, has never touched a joint or nothing in her life, AND she's never had sex. Did I mention she is beautiful? She respects me too...but i was so curious as to why she never wanted me to pick her up at home. So on Wednesday I went to surprise her and take her to Olive Garden or Carabba's or Beni Hanna's or something. Well, to my surprise, when I got to her door at about 6:30, her dad opened the door and asked who I was. I told her I was here to see Emilie. He said why. I told he I wanted to take her to dinner. Well, he went ballistic. He droned on and on about how I'm not good enough for her, I'd rape her, get her pregnant, ect. I was shocked and dumbfounded. Emilie came and tried to defend me, her father just raged on and on, I wasn't even let inside the house. I didn't want to fight back because I was sure it would make matters worse. He yelled at me for about 5 minutes, using "b*stard" "damn n-----," ect. I just stood there like a stone. Em was screaming and crying and clawing at her father, and I felt like screaming. I was burning-hot mad. I mean, the man doesn't even know me. Later me and her talked on the phone and I asked her if her father racist. She cried and cried and sputtered "yes." she said she can't do anything and she is so, so sorry. And I care about her soooo much. But what can I do? Which begs the bigger question, IS it wrong for me to date outside my race? If I got married to a white girl and had kids, would my children be teased or made fun of? Sigh...I get so excited because I keep thinking racism is declining, that walls are being tore down. This kind of stuff brings me down again.
Date and marry who you love, the color of their skin should not matter. If people are so petty to make a big deal out of it, its their loss. Do what you know is right, and what will make you happy. thats all that really matters anyway. this is coming from a guy in north Idaho too
NOpe, not at all. I'm a social liberal. Also, when I was in LA, I saw this set of 3 sisters (14-18 I guess) that were half-anglo and half-chinese and their features were striking. They all looked similar, yet distinctly different. They're gonna be heartbreakers when they grow older. What's weird is neither of the parents were what I would consider attractive.
Well that really sucks for both of you. I definitely don't think you're wrong for dating whatever race you chose. It makes me so sad to hear that story. I'm married outside my race(I'm white, and my wife is Korean). Luckily our families were truly supportive. If you had children they might be made fun of. I think multi-racial children, uni-racial children everyone is made fun of when they are children. If things work out and you get married the fact that kids would be made fun of shouldn't deter you at all.
Skin color shouldn't make any difference whatsoever. Character is far more important. It's unfortunate that some people don't recognize that. Maybe we'll get past that some day.
That's terrible man. I wouldn't stop seeing her though. That father is a piece of ****. Just don't ever let him see his grandkids until he shapes up. It's not wrong, in fact it should be encouraged, and your kids will be fine.
I am all for interracial dating...Heck, I'm Interracial and look how nice and great I am! ...Half-white, half-hispanic and proud of who I am...I married a hispanic women and I am proud to have 2 very beautiful daughters...Sad to say, we see examples of parents who are against this and it is a problem...Children want to have parents who are happy, but they need to find love regardless of skin pigment...I always thought it is how you are as a person, not specifically who you are.... Love should be blind. Love is good...
My best friend is black (well there's some other races in there too), and he been dating a white girl for almost 2 years now. Its like not even an issue because to tell you the truth I don't even think about it at all. Of course it could be because here in California we have a lot of diversity. My mother on the other hand was raised in North Dakota and she told me she never saw a black person until she was in 6th grade. Her dad told her never to date a black man. She told me should have a problem If I ever dated a black woman. Her Husband who is like 60 years old also has this thing about telling "touchy" jokes and discussing racial matters in front of my friend who is interracial. We laugh about it but sometimes I wish he would just shut up. The Other day me and the same friend walked into a store and the White Clerk with a Harley Davidson shirt and a mullet was giving us dirty looks. Truthfully I don't even have any close friends that are the same race as me, I just seem to hang out with Mexican, Black, Indian people, I don't even think about race. I mean it comes up when we are joking around, But its really never taken seriously. About a week ago we had a thing were a white couple burned a cross in front of a black police officer's house. It was a strange thing because this city is normally known for the Hispanic Population. Interracial marriage is a very common thing where I live so I guess its hard for me to have an opinion that matters. finalsbound - You should date with whoever wants to be with you regardless of your/their race. Love is color blind.
finalsbound, I'm blown away by your story. Don't let her go. I've been married for 6 and a half years, and I'm pretty sure my father-in-law hates me too. Haha, he has to deal with the fact that I boink his daughter. Awesome.
That story depresses me finalbound, thanks for sharing though. My mom wants me to "marry someone Chinese." Yeah, she's racist to an extent. She doesn't hate other races, but I think it's about preserving the Chinese culture with her grandchildren. Hell, I'm not even thinking about kids and my parents has all this stuff planned out. The way I see it, they want me to be happy, but they want me to be happy in their way. I feel that there might be some conflict later on (not when I'm dating, but should a relationship become serious), and even if I try to ignore it, it's gonna rear its ugly head sooner or later. Choosing someone you love over your parents is a hard decision. But love conquers all I guess. And if they were genuine parents they'll manage to come around sooner or later. But life is never that simple.
Love does not conquer all. Unless you are looking for a fling, you should not pursue this relationship. When you are looking for somebody to marry, you have to consider their family. You will never truly be accepted by this guy, so why bother? I am sure that Emily is a nice girl, but there are hundreds more just like her. Good luck to you.
To answer your topic, no, I don't have a problem with interracial dating. I'd love to date and even marry someone from India. Ladies from India are funny and attractive(atleast to me).
That guy may not accept you, but what it comes down to is that when you get married then you'll be part of a new family. It will be extremely difficult, but I believe that you can overcome that obstacle. Good luck.
If you think she might be the right girl, go for it. I think she should ask her father if his attitude is very Christ-like. That might provoke some thought, or at the very least an interesting reaction if he is a Christian. (I thought likely because the daughter is.) How old is she? If she is over 20, I think the waters are clear for sailing. If she is under 20, you are unlikely to marry her anyway, so the stress might not be worth it. Good luck!
Of course it is. My sister married a black dude and hes the most generous, giving guy I know. However, hes never even met my father. My dad did not even go to the wedding(my parents are divorced) and him and my sister do not even speak. I think it is truly a disgrace to let skin color cost you your relationship with your daughter but I'm sure he is not the first nor will be the last man to do this. I can recall having a conversation with a Christian man about this and he mentioned some obscure passage from the Bible that supposedly said that you should not marry outside of your race. Something about Jew with Jew, whatever with whatever, etc. As far as the thread title goes, I'm not looking for anyone to actually speak out against interracial dating for fear of being crucified(sp??) by the board.
I Believe Blessid Union of Souls <i>Walk blindly to the light and reach out for his hand Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand Open up your mind and then open up your heart And you will see that you and me aren't very far apart 'Cause I believe that love is the answer I believe that love will find the way Violence is spread worldwide and there are families on the street And we sell drugs to children now oh why can't we just see That all we do is eliminate our future with the things we do today Money is our incentive now so that makes it okay But I believe that love is the answer I believe that love will find the way I believe that love is the answer I believe that love will find the way I've been seeing Lisa now for a little over a year She said she's never been so happy but Lisa lives in fear That one day daddy's gonna find out she's in love With a n_____ from the streets Oh how he would lose it then but she's still here with me 'Cause she believes that love will see it through And one day he'll understand And he'll see me as a person not just a black man 'Cause I believe that love is the answer I believe that love will find the way I believe I believe I believe I believe that love is the answer I believe that love will find the way Love will find the way Love will find the way Love will find the way Please love find the way Please love find the way</i>
