I'm sure many (ok, a few) of you have noticed that I haven't been in the hang-out forum much recently. While I have been busy and out-of-town much of the summer, there's a more important reason for this as well. I've found myself becoming less and less able to deal with serious issues, like politics, religion, etc. Recently, I was reading The Onion's "What do you think" session. They were asking what the make-believe people thought of the Pakistan-India conflict. One guy's "answer" was, "this is why I only read the comics and sports section in the paper." That's how I've become. The world just seems so hopeless, and I can't find faith in anything. I'm a liberal, but Democrats are corrupt and I can't pretend (like some) that the world would be fine without Bush. I'm pro-Palestine... but they're not any better than the Israelis, the Israelis just happen to be more powerful at the moment. I believe in saving the environment, but it'll never happen when big business is in control... and even most environmentalists never think about the real ramifications of their desires. I don't want a clean world so children starve, etc. The other day, I took a rare glimpse at CNN, only to see columns about hate, corruption, and pure evil (some guy who barbequed a kitten to death). I see police brutality on TV. Child rapes. Serial killers. Religious fanatics. People without religion who simply do whatever gains them immediate gratification. Politicians and public figures just take sides and stick with them. Maybe 1 in 10 actually really thinks about an issue. And even then, they're still often for sale. Positions are for sale, and justice is predicated upon the ability to pay for it. What's left? I follow my favorite sports teams, read books (often fantasy now, since it's more escapist and ends happily), and play video games. I drink with friends and try to cook good food. But I'm not satisfied with simply avoiding the sadness in the world. It's almost like I can feel myself growing shallower and less interesting by the day. Maybe I'm just too fragile to take reality as it is, not how I want it to be. Even here, caused me pain near the end. I honestly think most of you seem like great guys, but I'd often find myself spouting invectives like everyone else, over beliefs. It's not that I see nothing of love and compassion in the world... just not enough to make up for everything else. I would love to believe like Ayn Rand and James Madison that society can be structed so that self-interest can create Utopia. But I can't believe it. It doesn't seem to work that way. I don't want to be trivial, but I can't handle the world. I feel self-indulgent and Narcissistic, as I type this - I'm well-fed, going to a good school, and am engaged to a woman I love. Yet I do feel this way anyway, and I my fortunate circumstances don't seem to matter to me. I'd like some serious advice, if anybody has been through the same.
I certainly hope that you don't really have that bleak of a world view. Crappy things have happened since the dawn of time. There is a difference now though. We have 3 cable channels that are 24 hour news. That means they can cover more stories in greater depth. When JFK had his affairs, it was barely covered. If it had happened today it would be on the news seemingly 24/7. That is what you need to realize. Many of the news stories today are overblown and oversensationalized. I honestly believe that Bush is a good man and has great conviction and cares about this country. That's a good thing. Neither side in this is right. Both sides are oppressive and violent. This issue has caused me great problems with my Jewish in-laws. Big business is not the evil group of monoliths the media make them out to be. Sure there are bad ones out there, but telling us about the good ones does not garner TV ratings and does not sell newspapers. You never hear about them. Many of them are like us. They have convictions about an issue so natuarally they will stick with them. Are there politicians for sale? Sure. But I don't think it is all of them by a long shot. I don't mean to be argumentative here, but it seems like you are focusing on the bad things in life. I have tried to point out the other side. The side pointing out the good things in the facets of life you talked about. My advice to you is to talk to somebody about your problem. A clergyman, parent, sibling, good friend, or a professional if you can't talk to anybody else. It surely sounds like you are depressed. I can understand being depressed. I did all the "right" things. I got an accounting degree, and went to a good law school. Sadly, I was laid off 3 months ago and am still unemployed. So I can definitely understand being in a the world is hopeless frame of mind. There are some terrible things over which you have no control. don't focus on those. Focus on the things within your control. Cherish and protect your loved ones to the best of your ability. Just know that there are also good things and good people out there. I wish you the best of luck and hope that I have been at least a little helpful.
Man, yall think too much! I don't usually think much about the world. Every once in a while I think about the world, but no very often. Maybe after school, when I get a dose of "Real Life", I'll really start thinking about that stuff. For now, I play games, watch TV, sleep, play basketball and eat. That's just about sums up my summer too.
Your problem is that you have analyzed world events, and your adult intellect is overcoming your childish emotion. Life is hard and ugly, with intermittant splashes of beauty and pleasure that appear far too infrequently. You have a wonderful mind, and as I have told you several times before- you will make a fine conservative one day)
I didn't really realize how disheartened I am about the world around me as much as I do now after reading your topic. It really is a difficult time for alot of reasons. But some may argue we live in very interesting times as well. When things become too difficult for me I try and think about whats important. Try to keep everything simple. I know that I myself am only a bystander to events that occur and are forthcoming. But being human as we are we become apprehensive about the impending. But we need to realize we have our own lives that must continue on through trial and distress. I don't for one minute believe that there isn't evil out there working against our own interests. But we need to take care of those who have taken care of us. Right now I'm sure alot of us are mentally drained. But what do you feel guilty of? You haven't taken anything from anyone. Just take your girl out to see movie. Something campy. Maybe go see that Eight-Legged Freaks movie. But by all means live your life. In the perpetual words of JFK "Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings." As for me being through enough crap to give you some advice believe me I have been to rock bottom. I have suffered the worst mental disease could throw at me with post-partum depression. It took me a year but I've never felt more hopeful and optimistic in my life. Even though you do seem depressed a bit since you are losing interest in the things you love I don't think you are as bad as I were. Maybe if you feel compelled to get some of your feelings out try writing ballads in your free time. I find its good therapy. Anyways hope I helped. Wish you the best. Late
I don't mean to sound trite, but sometimes life just requires you to wake up on the other side of the bed. -or take a listen to Mercer's song...(Dr. John has a great version) Accentuate The Positive You've got to accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the affirmative Don't mess with Mister In-Between You've got to spread joy up to the maximum Bring gloom down to the minimum Have faith or pandemonium Liable to walk upon the scene (To illustrate his last remark Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark What did they do Just when everything looked so dark) Man, they said we better Accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the affirmative Don't mess with Mister In-Between No, do not mess with Mister In-Between Do you hear me, hmm? (Oh, listen to me children and-a you will hear About the eliminatin' of the negative And the accent on the positive) And gather 'round me children if you're willin' And sit tight while I start reviewin' The attitude of doin' right (You've gotta accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the affirmative Don't mess with Mister In-Between) You've got to spread joy (up to the maximum) Bring gloom (down) down to the minimum Otherwise (otherwise) pandemonium Liable to walk upon the scene To illustrate (well illustrate) my last remark (you got the floor) Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark What did they say (what did they say) Say when everything looked so dark Man, they said we better Accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the affirmative Don't mess with Mister In-Between No! Don't mess with Mister In-Between ----- Obviously there are no clear cut answer to satisfy a hungry soul, but know there's always a choice. RR
Aw, come on haven, don't let the world get you down. If you are depressed now, wait until you get near the end of law school. Seriously, it is admirable that you care that much to try to change the problems in the world, but I look at it like this: there are always going to be problems, conflicts, and bad things going on in the world. Some people might think that the times we are living in are the worst right now, but how about the late '20s or during World War II or even better yet during the Civil War?? Like others have said, concentrate what makes you happy in your life - fiance, family, friends, etc. Maybe it would help you to discuss this with one of them. I know it always makes me feel better when I let out "negative energy" by discussing it with my family and/or friends.
You probably know what response I would give, but I doubt that is what you want to hear right now. So I have questions for you instead. You recognize all the evil and corruption in the world, but how do you know it's evil? Where did you learn the difference about what is good and what's evil? If your answer is a book or a person, what authority do they have for determining good/evil? I realize you know the difference. I'm just curious of how you know the difference. Because when you go back to that authority of good and evil, maybe he/she/it can renew your hope about your future and the future of the world.
This isn't a personal issue a guy named Haven is feeling. Believe me, the whole damn world is feeling the fears and urgency he his right now. We all are feeling it right now, but some of you guys are still secure in your little corners and dont want to be disturbed with the rest of humanitys problems. So you proceed to tell haven its just a passing discontent, he'll adapt to it blah blah. But thats not how it works anymore. Its a global discontent. I know everybody feels it. Thats our reward for growing up in the year 2000 and beyond. You were rewarded with an acute sensitivitiy. And it aint your regular itch. Whats going on in the world cannot be ignored, its part of us, were in it, so we might as well learn to face and feel it like our freind, haven. These are more than just interesting times were living in my freinds. if you cant handle it, relax and smoke a doobie, you'll be alright in the end. I feel an inward revolution,
I understand what you're saying, haven. The other posters here have a point, that it's virtually pointless to focus on the dreary aspects of life and worry about it all the time. But then again, someone has to, don't they? The more people who care about the crappiness of the world, the more people there are who want to change it and make it better. And if you get enough of those people... And that's what being an optimist is all about. We know it ain't gonna happen, but we hope it will. And that's what gets me through the crappy world.
My faith in Jesus as my Savior has given me a view of the end. It will get worse before it gets better, but knowing the end gives me peace. And in times of personal trouble, when I call on Him, He strengthens me. Not religion - relationship.
haven -- i've missed seeing you here!! you always have interesting posts that open me up to new perspectives and ideas. i really do appreciate that, even if i do disagree vehemently! hard to believe, perhaps...but true...i really do appreciate your opinions here. you're a big part of why i sign in here... i'm sorry that you're having these struggles. you're absolutely right, the systems of this world suck. i don't think there's anyway to make that not true. i personally, as you might have guessed, do not believe that man could EVER create a utopia...ultimately, man is flawed from birth. selfish from the moment he/she is born. and we find ourselves grappling with the same struggles and questions that people did 1000 years ago...2000 years ago...5000 years ago. i wish i had all the answers for you to make you sleep easier. my faith helps to give me an eternal perspective rather than a temporal one...that's a source of great comfort for me. but i'm not gonna lie and say that i never worry about things...never grow concerned over the darkness of this world. in fact, i would describe my feelings on that by reflection on psalm 42-43...the author of that psalm seems to me to be saying, "God...I know you're all powerful...but you're not showing me that right now..and you're not showing my enemies that right now! Why not, dammit!!?? I feel like you're forsaking me...but I know you don't do that...so why do i feel that way?" And yet he closes out each little stanza by saying, "Put your hope in God...for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." I find it encouraging to know I can feel that way from time to time...and God still accepts me. That he doesn't ask me to put on false pretenses about my feelings..that, as someone said earlier...it's ultimately about relationship, not religion. Man...i'm getting preachy again..sorry. I really am sorry to hear you feel so down. Past the eternal perspective stuff, I don't know what to say. Without my faith I think I'd feel pretty beaten about the world,too....it's not easy. No one said it should be, I guess. But do take joy in the little things...the voice and touch of your fiancee...sunny days...the laughter of your friends...good beer!...the amazing abilities of the athletes you enjoy watching...and even the ability to think these things through...and to have people who are willing to listen to you and share their thoughts. I know you give a ton of your time to service...maybe now is a good time to do that some more. I know that putting my self second and putting others before me really helps me forget about my own problems and my own worldviews. I'll pray for you, haven....thanks for your honesty.
Haven, Just remember that the media can skew things out of proportion. Remember last summer and there were all those stories about shark attacks? The funny thing is that the number of shark attacks was actually down last year. But because of the vast number of stories about them, it seemed that there was huge shark attack increase. The truth is that the attacks that happened just received more attention. There are horrible things that are happening all around, and there is no denying it. Perhaps if you had enough time to donate to a charity that visits old age homes, or things of that nature, it will help you feel good because you are doing something, are around caring people who want to make a difference etc.
Haven -- I've had several bouts of what you're going through, including a pretty serious round of depression in my early twenties. I felt that I had somehow been born with a thinner skin that allowed me to feel things more deeply than others. It felt like just being alive was painful. I found several things to be helpful: 1. Don't expect too much of yourself. Life comes in cycles. Sometimes you'll feel more easily injured and other times you'll feel stronger. Don't force yourself to watch the news if you don't feel you can handle it -- sometimes you just need a break. period. Don't worry, the way you feel now won't last forever. Nothing ever does. 2. Monitor your intake. Be very careful with what you watch and listen to. I found that local news (with its focus solely on tragedy and crime) was intolerable for me. Only allow yourself to watch and read things that you believe are of high quality. I stopped getting the local paper because they focused on local stories (like animals suffering) that caused me too much pain to read. I'm much happier now and I find that I'm no less well-informed. 3. Act locally. If there are particular issues that upset you, do something to get involved at a local level. Even if it's writing letters to your congressman or joining the Sierra Club. Whatever is enough that you can handle, but still lets you feel like you're doing something to add to the solution rather than the problem. Things don't seem as hopeless if there is some kind of action on your part. 4. Most importantly, try to find some way to extract meaning from all of this. Try to develop a life philosophy or religion or spiritual practice that allows you to view all the tragedies from a broader perspective. I know from your posts that you're an extremely intelligent, inquisitive individual -- I would encourage you to treat your doubts and questions as an asset. I found that my initial depression eventually lead me to seek much broader intellectual and spiritual horizons than I ever would have had I not allowed myself to wonder "why?" Most great writers, teachers, philosophers, artists ... have a period in their life where they begin to question the world around them -- a time when old beliefs no longer fit, but new ones have yet to be discovered. They call this time "the dark night of the soul." It almost always leads to a broader world than they ever imagined. I wish you the best of luck on your journey, haven.
Haven We suffer from Info overload more than anything You parents did not know about the kids in Africa or the war in the middle east with such detail and gore. The internet and the shrinking world are only bringing to light what was always there Ignorance has truly been bliss of our country Now we have to take our head out of the sand and take care of it. We must understand the ripple effect I cannot feed all of africa .. but i can feed the kid down the street. He may feed another in time BE A GOOD PERSON and know that you have done good .. . . . Change what you can . . .and do not overly worry about what you cannot Rocket River
I agree with Mrs. JB, especially on this point. Part of my frustration and hopelessness with the world's problems sometimes stem from the fact that i feel like i have no impact, like the world is evil, selfish, etc. Well, the best thing to counter that is to do something positive yourself. Summers can suck because you have too much free time to ponder your existence in this hellhole of a world. However, if you get out and volunteer, work with some children, or people much less fortunate than you in some way, you can find lot to appreciate in this world. Especially working with kids. No matter how advanced the world has gotten, and how quickly kids are growing up these days, there is still a significant degree of innocence and beauty in them and the opportunities they will have to change the world for the better if they are cared for as much as they should be. All in all, if worse comes to worse, find at least ONE thing you hold dear to yourself, be it music, sports, a person, and DON'T LET GO....
haven: Sorry to hear about your bout with reality. The hardest thing to face sometimes is the reality that some things aren't the way we want them to be and may never be. The acceptance of that reality can be very tough and I feel ya'. Mrs JB said it best.
Here's some reading....I cant say if its good advice or not...but from the CNN article, it seems inspirational. www.whyyourlifesucks.net
