Use the passive/aggressive, "you have no right to be mad at me, I wouldn't have had to say anything anyway if you weren't such a frigid b***h " strategy.
So, did it work? Problem is, no matter what, she'll always remember it and will probably bring it up in a fight later on down the line... Have her kick you in the nuts and call it even...
No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!
It's too late to suggest this but in the future DON'T give her a few hours to "cool down." That's not likely to happen. You will be giving her a few hours to stew about it, call her friends and hash out what you were really saying, stew about it some more, resolve to never speak to you, become infuriated that you haven't called her yet to apologize repeatedly, assure herself you meant the absolute worst and have no intention of apologizing... Alright, maybe that's just me. Still I don't think time heals all wounds, some of them just fester.
Wait... Seriously? How much time are we talking about? My ex still has things that fester with her after 10 years of being divorced. I find that downright unhealthy on her end.
It sounds like she got hurt pretty badly and whatever amends you think you made didn't cover it. Hopefully Drumbum didn't say anything quite that damaging.
The amends were divorce. We didn't get along. But we do have a child together. I'm sorry, but if you can't get over something after 10 years, you have issues and should see a counselor.
My advice to the op is dump her first. If she's still mad and was going to do it anyway you don't suffer the humiliation. If she's mad but loves you she will try to stop you from breaking up. As for the reason, say something like "I'm sorry, blah blah blah, you deserve someone who would never say such hurtful things, blah blah i want you to be happy even if it means losing you" The power will be all yours. Savor the taste but do not abuse it or you won't be able to get it during a time of crisis.
exactly. the "ultimate way that isn't BS" is also known as the truth. be THE DUKE OF TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH...
What I said was as follows: As I stated in a thread prior, she wanted to start having sex two weeks before. So I said, okay, I agree. This past week, I wanted to talk to her about the whole thing and didn't know how to tactfully bring it up so instead I did the MOST untactful thing ever and said, "You know, ever since we talked about the whole sex thing, I've thought maybe you just want to do it, and would do it with someone else", meaning I sort of called her a slut. In the past few days she's really been trying to get over it, but is just sad that I would disrespect her that much. I've told her the truth, being the reason I said it, but to her it doesn't matter cause I still said what I said. I guess it'll blow over with time, but any catalysts would be super helpful.
Sounds like you projected your anticipated infidelity onto her. Calling her presumed intentions out may have indicated your hidden desires to her. Perhaps you're already looking to move on should she fail to follow through? That is why non-marital coitus is overrated. Never can trust the other party involved 100%. No commitment is no security. Not saying that marriage cures infidelity, but it has its levels of security that staying single does not... generally speaking.
