"Like I always say, there's no "I" in team. There's a "me" though, if you jumble it up."- House M.D. "When we built this dreams on sand, how they all slip through our hands, and this might be our only chance, lets take this one day at a time, Ill hold your hand if you hold mine, the time that we kill...keeps us alive "- Lyrics to Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated and the ones below
"Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing" - Benjamin Franklin "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Do not go gentle into that goodnight. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" - Dylan Thomas "Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more." - Oscar Wilde "If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered. " - Edgar Allen Poe "Never to suffer, would never to've been blessed." - Edgar Allen Poe
"Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about p*rnography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fu*k, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?” "The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people.” “I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.” All bill Hicks. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Those that live within their means, suffer from lack of imagination. Oscar Wilde
"And if you must know I am not a mister. I am a miss. And if you really must know I am a black miss"- Some black lady
Here are some of my favorites: “There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those.” -- Michael Nolan "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity." -- Albert Einstein "Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it." -- Unknown “We must become the change we want to see.” --Mahatma Gandhi “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” -- Buddha "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny" -- Frank Outlaw
"Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong." "I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?" "Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?" "I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die" "What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?" "Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!" "Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection." "As a driver I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists." "Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time..." "I think the freezer deserves a light as well."
Variations on a theme... "Alcoholism is a disease, but it is the only disease you can get yelled at for having." - Mitch Hedberg "My manager told me not to use alcohol as a crutch. I said, 'How can I use alcohol as a crutch? A crutch helps me walk. Alcohol is like a step I did not see." - Mitch Hedberg "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel all day." - Frank Sinatra "They ask me why I'm drunk all the time, it levels my head and eases my mind. I just walk along and stroll and sing, I see better days and I do better things. I catch a dinosaur... Make love to Elizabeth Taylor... Catch hell from Richard Burton..." - Bob Dylan
