I had a really similar experience to MadMax's. My gf of almost 2 years broke up with me and told me that she just wasn't happy anymore... she didn't know why. We had talked about marriage and everything else. She would still talk to me all the time though and say she still loved me, talked about getting back together. One time we even ended up hooking-up again. Anyway, the best thing to do is to cut off communication in my opinion. Don't try to still be friends or hope that she will come back. If she does, then fine, but you need to try to move on as much as possible. That is what worked for me. When we quit talking altogether it didn't take that long for me to move on. If she doesn't want to be with you anymore, find someone who does. It sucks worse than I would have imagined before I went through it myself, but I am much happier with my new gf than I was before. Another thing to do is to work on yourself while you're single. Make sure you're the person you want to be before getting involved in a new relationship.
I can't really put into words what reading all this means to me. Thanks to all of you. I'm not really sure where I stand at all right now. I'm more confused than anything, and I can see bits and pieces of what's happening in a lot of your stories. We were both very, very close. First real 'meaningful' relationship that I had. She talked all the time of getting married, what kind of life we'd have, things like that. And I came to believe it. We are both different in many ways, like all people. She's hyper-productive, super organized and always feels she has to work, or she's doing something wrong. I'm not like that at all. But that's been the case since the beginning, more than two years ago. But then a week ago she tells me that those things were bothering her more and more...and she wasn't sure how she felt. She wanted time to think about it. She was very emotional, as was I, and in the end I said okay. That was a Saturday night. Sunday morning, 6 a.m., she called me to tell me she was sorry. And that she missed me, and shouldn't have just dumped those things on me rather than try and work on them. So after another long, emotional talk, we decided to try again. But during the next week, it just wasn't the same. Not how I felt about her; rather, that I just didn't know where we stood anymore. I had come to be so secure in things, thanks to her, and all the sudden I wasn't. She tried to act like she wanted to move past it, and work on things, but I could just tell. So, a few days ago, we got to talking about it again. And I said that I was worried that all that other stuff was just an excuse for something else. She said she just didn't feel the same way right now, and didn't think it was working, and she didn't want to try and convince herself that it would or lie to me.... ...so that was it. And here I am. Wondering, how something that just seemed so right, still didn't work out....
...and now she says it's more of a 'time apart' thing than a permanent thing.... dammit, dammit dammit....
Good a woman said it. . . because that is what I was thinking Rokkit - the unfortunate thing is. . . she will go out there get dogged out . .hurt. . and used then will want to come back to your whimpering then you can either 1. be the better man and let her go 2. be the sap and take her back or 3. use her as well Rocket River
yeah Rokkit, she might say its more of a 'temporary thing' than a forever type of deal, but basically she's leaving herself a door into your heart open in case she feels as if she screwed up down the road...Most likely she really has deep feelings for you and even though 'it' isnt there any more for her, its probably real confusing for her and parts of her heart are telling her that she should still be with you and thats why she said it was a 'temporary thing.' She'll probably go out, date a few guys that are jerks and then think "well, I know Mr. Rokkit really cared for me--even tho 'it' really isnt there even now, he's a nice guy and will probably take me back so I can feel good about myself again...' if she's saying its a 'temporary thing.' Thats just my .02.
hahaha funny you said that DM.... Believe me its nothing but trouble DON'T take her back.You know that song "Walk like a Man" listen to that. She will just do it again im serious i know from past experiences.
So is that it, then? I was her first real relationship...and I honestly don't believe she is the type to just play games. When we talked that night I could tell she was confused and hurt. But is it simply that she's just stringing me along? She's called again since then....this time telling me that she felt better after we talked that night. And that she was surprised I didn't feel better. (I said nothing was really settled...how can I feel better?) And that she felt better 'about us.' Whatever that means. I keep telling myself that I just have to go on as though we are done...that's what I tried to do those first few days. I know that's what best. And I told her that's what I'm going to do...its up to her now. I just don't know what the hell to think anymore...
That's not necessarily it, and unless she gives you reason to think otherwise, it's not healthy to think it is. I think you're doing the right thing. Proceed as if it's over and if you get back together that's great, but if not, you've already started preparing yourself. Just remember, there is no easy way to deal with this, however, it sounds as if you're doing as well as can be expected. BTW, how old are you guys?
Rokkit, I'm not the most experienced with females, but you definitely need to just keep going on and try to be a single guy and not think about her too much. Of course she's confused about what's going on and why she broke up with you--at one point she thought she loved you and then one day she wakes up and doesnt feel 'it' anymore...She's gonna wonder what the hell is up too, that doesnt mean you need to sacrifice your happiness for her.
haha... you know what else is REALLY funny? rememeber that time i got mad at you and threw my drink on your shorts and you willingly wore one of my skirts while i dried them for you? homoSEXUAL STEVE and donny
hey i don't care......... But it sounds like someone does......... well... this break up was weird because it didnt involve fighting and yelling, just came to an end. im not going to lie and say i dont love you. i just wanted you to know that you broke up with me because of an e mail from some guy i havent talked to in months. i havent been doing anything behind you back, but i thought we needed to break up so i let you do what you had to do. i care about you a lot and i will always have a big place in my heart for you, but the fact is youre leaving me for the coastguard and i cant take that. breaking up as gf and bf wasnt the worst part of whats happening... losing my bestfriend is what sucks the most. i love you a lot donny and i dont want to hate each other before you leave for 4 years... if you dont want to see me anymore its okay, but maybe i could take you out somewhere before you leave because i have a few bucks and i dont want you thinking im just trying to be nice so i can use you... you could ride on my handle bars while i drive my bike to where we go incase you dont have gas =) please reply to this e mail with either... you want to do something one last time or you dont. i love you donny. -lisa ........... an e-mail i got from that girl and me like i said i don't care
well donny, i see you are still stalking me... yes i wrote that e mail a day or two ago and if im not mistaken you answered me back with a "yes" to going out and doing something, but that's not important. if you could do me a favor and fadeaway that would be a BIG PLUS. go make out with homosexual steve and stop stalking me on this message board, it's just weird.
Don't get comfortable. This is NOT funny...any of it. The only reason you are here is to troll another poster so you have three options: 1. Stop using this BBS as a place to air your stupid crap. 2. Leave voluntarily. 3. Get booted. DM has participated in this BBS prior to your arrival and has been a good contributor. Your presence here is obviously for nothing other than annoyance and, believe me, it is annoying. So, I'll leave it to you to decide, but, if you don't, I'll do it for you.
Sorry to hear the bad news. Keep in mind that every end signals a new beginning. I had a 14 year relationship SUDDENLY break up two years ago. I know how the hollow surreal feeling engulfs your mind. It tends to disease the mind in insidious ways. A breakup is like a death. The first reaction is a hollow empty lonley feeling. You must give yourself some time. Do not expect to *get over* it. Just put it in proper perspective. Frankly, I don't want to be with anyone that is even DOUBTFUL that they want to be with me. I don't need the stress. You are better off in that way. It is better that it ended early instead of investing MANY MANY years. As far as homes, and marriage, and long term plans........ALL WOMEN DO THIS. I don't care WHAT relationship you are in. Also women tend to break up WHEN they have ALREADY found another person. i am not saying this happened to you, but women rarely break up to be alone. Dont worry about RIGHT, just look at karma. Things dont have to be RIGHT or JUST or FAIR. Life isnt that easy........Be a man, and be better than the BS. You will feel better with time. Something magical happens when you mix time and a heavy heart. Also, don't fall for her telling you that she still *feels* for you......SHE ALREADY LEFT. She is just keeping you as the backup. She will use you at this point. It may be therapeudic for her at this point, but it is PURE braindamage for you. This is the story of William Jay, who died, maintaining his right of way, he was right, dead right, as he sped along, and hes just as dead as if he were wrong
