Of all the people I know (including myself) I cant even think of an instance where the mother even died first. Maybe its something we're conditioned to thinking might happen, that more often than not the male passes before the female so there's just that little bit more mental preparedness. I also think when its a guy dying its like oh, another goober gone. Like David Carradine. And women dying its alot sadder, at least for me it is. Plus women are more soaked into the family and friend support system, from my observation and experience.
My father passed away on April 11 this year. My mother has dealt with it extremely well considering that my dad did all the financial stuff and never let her know about his investments, paying the bills, etc. One of those old-school guys. In the past 2 months, she's paid bills for the first time in her life, learned how to send an email message (she never had the inclination to use a computer, stay-at-home mom), had all my dad's investments transferred to her name, got the car registered, and secured a lawyer for the probate process. Pretty amazing in that she never did any of those things before in her life. I mean, I helped with some, but she did a lot on her own. She'll have moments when she misses him terribly, but she relies on her faith, family, and friends- we're a very close-knit group. My father, if the roles were reversed, would probably be OK, too, after a while. Say what you want about organized religion, but it has been a tremendous benefit to my mom. She's been one of the strongest ones among my 3 sisters, her, and myself.
My mother died suddenly many years ago. She and my father had been together since she was 13 and he was 12. They married just out of college and were married 28 years when she passed away. He went into a major depression and still struggles with depression to this day. He also remarried 2 years after my mother passed away. It was hard to accept at the time, but he just couldn't be alone. Some men (certainly not all) just do not do well on their own, they really need to be married.
