This is hilarious - a local website named McGrady to their All Wuss Team (I'm paraphrasing because the actual title is a bit more risque). Here is the link: http://fourthandfifty.com/2009/05/28/nba-all-titty-baby-team/ I'd also add Dirk to the team. I know he scores a lot, but he's shrunk in big moments for years.
I know it's wrong but I lauged at the title of your thread and even harder at the actual wording. BTW, I'm pretty sure you could have used the actual wording in your thread title: All Titty-Baby Team.
Those targets are way too easy. Besides, that website has gone off on Sasha quite a bit: http://fourthandfifty.com/2009/05/02/faf-team-profile-the-los-angeles-lakers/
Point Guard – Baron Davis One could make the case he is still a high-level player in the right system and Mike Dunleavy is holding him back and he got screwed by Elton Brand. Having said that, 14.9 PPG on 37% shooting and sulking constantly is enough to get him a solid first-team nomination. Especially since he can do this. I’ve said it before – Aux Lunera (the Requiem for a Dream song) should be the de facto music for every youtube highlight. Shooting Guard – Tracy McGrady I don’t even know where to begin here. He sulked his way out of Orlando, he plays half a season every year, he grows a beard to hide his double chin, and he drives to the hole once per month at most when he is playing. Andohbytheway, it’s all his fault. Walk it off, Tracie. That video never gets old. Small Forward – Rashard Lewis The inspiration for this post. His numbers bear this out. 5.7 rebounds in 36 minutes per game is ridiculous, especially considering he plays the 4 a lot. Over half of his shots were 3s (554 out of 1,089), which is reinforced every time you see the Magic play – he just sits there waiting for someone to pass him the ball like Sasha Vujacickcick. What a b****. I’m glad the Rockets drafted Bryce Drew and two other white guys. There, I said it. I’d rather have 3 wasted draft picks than pay Rashard Lewis over $300 million over the course of his career, which is exactly what would have happened if the Rockets had drafted him. Power Forward – Lamar Odom Shane Shazam and I were also talking about what player we’d like to trade places with – the guy with the genetics and skill set that we’d love to have. The only rule was no LeBron or Dwight Howard. I chose Lamar Odom – the height, agility, hands, quick vertical, passing, shooting, timing on defense. So why isn’t he a better player? Because he’d rather eat nerds rope all day. You know, instead of dedicating himself to being great. Not that there is anything wrong with a sweet tooth – I’m eating Nutter Butters right now, but you don’t see it impacting my blog productivity. Center – Mehmet Okur Do I have to even say anything here? All Titty-Baby Second-Team Point Guard – TJ Ford An emotional titty baby. Doesn’t make his teammates better. Only averaged 5.3 assists per game, and some of that can probably be put on the Pacer’s style of play, but it always seems like he is going for his, whether it is buckets or dimes. Plus he’s made of single-pane glass. Shooting Guard – Vince Carter The numbers don’t bear this out, but watching him play does. Knock him down once and he’ll settle for jump shots for the rest of the game. He came on a bit stronger this year, but otherwise would have been First Team, and probably had an emeritus chair in this department named after him. Small Forward – Stromile Swift This video should really piss you off. Because if Mr. Youtube makes a “Top 100 of something Stromile Swift does”, it should be “Top 100 plays where Stro doesn’t block out and the other team gets an offensive rebound” or “Top 1oo plays where Stro forgets the play” or “Top 100 plays where Stro dunks and then is too busy doing his gang sign to get back on defense”. Jeff Van Gundy had hair before he coached this guy. Not really. But if he had hair, it would have fallen out. “Power” Forward – Drew Gooden Has a chin beard and a neck fat beard. The stories of LeBron wanting to kill Drew are legion. Much like TJ Ford, Gooden is a titty baby of the mind: too mentally flaccid to be an effective player. Or he has ADHD and an IQ of 64. Not that those are mutually exclusive. Center – Erick Dampier Shaq says it best. And another. PWND.
