Things I Hate About LA and the Lakers: There are more bad drivers in LA County than the rest of United States combined (#ell, you might as well include Canada and Central America) and there are more bad drivers in the Greater Los Angeles than the United States, India, and China combined. The Lakers are so soft they make the Care Bears look like fighting, blood-thirsty pit bulls. There's rumored to be an unusual economic grading scale that accurately identifies the different states of an economy in relation to its statehood: Excellent - Very Good - Good - Average - Below Average - Poor - You're Pretty F#ckin' Screwed - California Silicon Valley might be the most obvious name in Western Civilization It might be the one place in United States where (street) gangster really do run city hall. It might be one of the only places in the world where a real, grimy rat-hole will cost $300,000 USD (property taxes and fledgling economy is not included). The Staples Center might be one of the only arenas/fields/stadiums where the crowd has more illegal drugs in their system than the players on the field/court. I've seen more motivated people on death row than ones I've seen in the crowds at Staples Center. Is Phil Jackson more of a zen master than he is basketball coach? That would explain so much, sometimes. Especially why he always has the best players on his team. There were more clearer days, during the Vietnam War than LA has had in last 50 years, combined. It's safe to say that the metro sexual population would dramatically decrease, if anyting happened to LA California is one of the only places in the world where Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arianna Huffington, Larry Flynt, Gary Coleman, Mary Carey, and . . . Cruz Bustamente, all could place top 10 and have enough votes to be competitive in a race to be the governor of (a real-life, non-scripted) American state with real people, real social problems, real laws, and a real economy. They (California and the Lakers/their fans) obviously take the term "safe haven" to another extreme.
The 10 things I love about Fakertown. 10. Your state is bankrupt. 9. Kobe and Anne Hathaway have an ******* in common. 8. If Luis Scola was bald, black and turrible he'd be Lamar Odom 7. Hunter S. Thompson moved. 6. Derrick Fisher's best shot of the series got him suspended. 5. Andrew Bynum makes Sam Bowie look like Santa Anna 4. Our gays love Miss Texas 3. Your Governor once dressed up as a cyborg and terrorized a kid 2. The red-eye 1. This series is tied.
Things You Hate About the Lakers Things you hate about the Lakers. I'll start it off. Keeping a scrub around like Luke Walton because of his John Elway, down syndrome, horse looking daddy; than again, i should be thankful that this daddy's boy can't make easy baskets....except this one....
The fact that the team is bloated from the seams with talent, and yet they have zero concept of heart.
11.) The water's cold, the rent's high and if the fires, mudslides and smog don't put a cramp in your mango pico then the earthquakes will
1. Kobe won't tell me how MY ass taste! Heeeeyyyy! 2. Gasol trying to be a Jesus look-a-like 3. You think every time you play a team you expect them to piss their pants because yours says "Lakers" on the front 4. Like most Californians, you think the sun, moon, and stars rotate around you 5. Phil and Kobe both think that one man is bigger than the team, if not the league. 6. That Tracy will probably try to sign with you on the cheap to both get out of the first round and win a championship once his contract expires.
How about 14? Trevor Ariza Shannon Brown Kobe Bryant Andrew Bynum Jordan Farmar Derek Fisher Pau Gasol Didier Ilunga-Mbenga Adam Morrison Lamar Odom Josh Powell Sasha Vujacic Luke Walton Sun Yue
Oh and #7: Kobe's identity crisis: For the love of Pete, stop trying to channel Mike and forge an identity of your own!
My bad Mr. My List, let me back off b4 I get my heart ripped out. Those astronaut boots were the ugliest things on the planet. Even worse than peice of crap Dada's from back in the day with the fake ass "spinners" on em. Those were a joke.
1.Phil jackson 2.Kobe Bryant 3.Fisher 4.gasol 5.Vocuchick 6.gasol 7.fisher 8.kobe 9.phil 10. the color yellow
