OK, so I decide to visit my mother for Christmas day. I normally don't visit her very much over the holidays because I spend time down at my dad's house on most holidays since I've been about 16. My parents have been divorced for quite a long time. I just realized why I never visit my mother. She drives me absolutely nuts whenever I'm around her. I'm 24 years old and she doesn't seem to get anything about being a young adult. My mother lives with her husband and her mother who is 100% bed ridden due to extremely advanced Alzheimer's disease. Her husband works a ton running his own business. As a result, my mom is rarely able to leave the house because she can't leave her mother alone. Here's the problem: my mom gets offended when I do anything that doesn't involve her. If I get on my laptop and surf the internet she starts harassing me asking questions like "what do you do on that thing all the time?" Then she'll go on a rant about how "technology is ruining communication between people these days! No one can talk to each other nowadays!" Last night I sent a couple of texts (literally, a couple) while we were both in the living room and she says "I can leave the room if you want me to," insinuating that I am trying to hide something from her. She then goes on another rant about "the younger generation" not being able to talk to each other. I've always been a person that stays up late and sleeps in when I don't have to work. She nags me as a result of this. She seems to think I sleep to avoid her. I sleep like this when I'm at my own house, when I visit my dad...whenever. She can't go out very often because she has to stay with her mom but gets offended if I go out for any length of time. She also thinks a 24 year old male is in danger of imminent violent attack if he's out past sundown by himself. She'll even go on rants like "I wish it was like when we were kids and could play in the front yard and walk down the streets without getting abducted!" I live alone in another state. How does she think I survive the 99% of the times I don't visit? Needless to say, I'm ready to snap. I don't even know how to talk to her about this because she seems so irrational about things. She gets upset about me being on the computer a lot when I come visit. What am I suppose to do when I'm laying around the house all day? You can't sit around and talk to your mother 24 hours a day. Anyone have advice on how to communicate with my mother regarding my frustrations? I feel like we're just living in two completely different dimensions...like she won't understand even if I sit down and attempt to explain how I feel. My mother complains that I rarely visit and when I do visit I never spend time with her. I'm not saying I'd visit all the time, but I'd be inclined to visit a lot more if she wasn't constantly nagging and complaining about...EVERYTHING I ENJOY DOING.
It sounds like you barely see her at this point now that you live out of state. Suck it up and deal with it. It sounds like she is already dealing with enough with her mother's situation. Don't add to her pain. There are people in this world starving and others dying in wars and you are complaining about your mother acting like a mother. That, or just seeking attention while this really isn't a big deal to you.
Man, you just described my mom. Just imagine what your life would be with out her, whenever my mom make me mad I just imagine what my life would be with out her and I can just forgive her for just about anything. No one love you more than your mother, not even your wife, and no matter what you do you are still her baby.
Some people just have parent(s) that are assholes. I have one too, people with good parents just don't know how good they have it. You just have to stand it, they'll never change.
Sounds like my mother. I have not lived at home for 8 years now, and every time I come to visit, my mother becomes this completely controlling, nosey, obsessive, and hyper-critical monster. If I go to the kitchen, "what are you doing in there?" If I go to the bathroom, "what are you looking for?" If I go out with friends, "where are you going? when are you coming home?" If I disappear for a nano-second my name gets yelled in this extremely whiney, nasaly voice... just to make sure I'm there. If I try to talk to her about something important to me, or about what is going on in my life, she does nothing but second-guess me, criticize, and generally attempt to ***** all over everything without even an ounce of constructive help. It may not sound like much, but my god, it is ANNOYING AS HELL. It completely spoils my visits home, and totally ruins the relationship I try to have with my parents. (my dad is about as silent, and emotionally distant as a rock, thanks to my mom's overbearing nature I'm sure.. which I'm surprised has not forced him to either move out or hang himself yet) Sure some people's parents are abusive a-holes, or deadbeats, and I'm very thankful mine aren't... but I have to think how miserable things would be if my mom didn't have her new puppy to pour all her obsessive attention and criticism onto. Just bite your tongue and avoid her as much as possible. Probably time to start asserting more independence and not stay with them if possible over the holidays, or don't visit anymore, period.
do it.....post pics or GTFO! j/k man. all I can say is.......at least you know your mother. Good luck bro, but be thankful for what you have.
I think she's right. You should be able to go a day without the internet or texting, particularly if you know it's a sore spot with her.
What about the other days? What should I do while I am here? You can't sit and chit chat with someone all day. What else would be acceptable for her to be annoyed with me doing? Watching TV? Reading a book? Drawing a picture?
