HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! LOL!!!!! To the OP, fear of being alone is NOT A GOOD REASON TO STAY WITH SOMEONE Just take some time to think about that... and then... take time to indulge yourself with a good Rox game. theSAGE
When I first tried to break up with her, I got 100's of texts and voice mails a day. Literally. I was scared to turn my phone on. She kept texting me "im gonna cut myself." I dont want her to be in pain or hurt her self. The thought of that (and the scars on her wrist) made me come back to her. I admit, she has been perfect recently, but I cannot seem to trust her. This is why I feel like I am the one at fault. She has changed recently after she lied, but I am still skeptical and accuse her every step of the way. She is getting agitated by that, but I just cannot help myself. I cannot go against my gut.
Dude, You sound like a good guy. A guy with conscience and compassion. But I'm sorry, but if what you say is true, that's just simply f***ed up! She's playing certain guilt cards to keep you around. That's called being a CONTROL FREAK!!!! I'm just telling you as I see it. No pretense here. I would be extremely wary going forward. The last thing you need to do is to keep on this relationship, only to feel more and more pressure to leave. You do that later on, and then she's gonna come back and possibly say you were misleading her. Don't put it off dude. Have the conversation. Take a break. And see if you still have the same feelings for her one year from now. theSAGE
She threatened to cut herself, how could anyone feel comfortable around someone after they take a left turn into psycho-town? I don't want to sound callous, but that kind of behavior was the basis for an entire episode of 30-Rock ("She's crazy, like 'grab a cop's gun' crazy.") You aren't at fault. Here's what's causing the hang-up. The relationship doesn't HAVE to work out. You're not 'at fault' for not being able to trust her. YOU CAN'T MAKE YOURSELF TRUST SOMEONE. You shouldn't have to be in a relationship where you can't trust your partner, and she shouldn't have to be in a relationship where her partner can't trust her. No one's at fault. No one's to blame. You just aren't right for each other and you need to end it. Period. And love comes from the gut. That's why we say we fall in love, we're smitten, we're struck, it's NOT voluntary. If you feel uneasy around her, you can't change that. It's really hard, believe, I've been there, but think how miserable you are, would you have agreed to this going into the relationship? Hell no! And you're uneasy because people don't just un-psycho themselves like that. She's a ticking time bomb and you'll probably never trust her again. And that's fine. If she wanted you to trust her, she wouldn't have lost that trust in the first place. End of story.
If you don't break her heart, she will break yours. And it's always easier to do the leaving. Displace now!
Truer words have never been spoken! To the OP, I'd break it off. At least for a while. Spend some time apart and you never know, your feelings may change. It could just be that you guys are in a rut and need some time off to jump start your relationship again.
I read the entire thread. I think you're taking too much responsibility for her own life decisions. If you tell her too much of what you're feeling, she could very well do something drastic because she know it works and you would likely feel responsible. I would talk to a specialist who knows about co-dependent relationships and unstable partners. The reason for this is because while you think your experience is unique, those people deal with these issues all the time, and they would likely give her the help she needs or at the very least help her manage her issues without resorting to self mutilation.
Seriously if she is cutting herself she needs some help. I hate being judgemental, especially about someone I've never met, but cutting yourself is a sign that there might be more wrong with her than just your relationsion.
I second that. If she's hot, well then she's probably crazy and you should get years of mind blowing sex and leave. If she's an ugo, you marry her!
a read the whole thread. seems to me this is very simple...you think she is cheating...no? the cutting the wrists thing...ignore it, if you want her back. there really is not anything else you can do. she probably is on the wrong meds or needs meds. don't allow it to make you feel like this is a special relationship. it's not. keep it simple. cheating hurts. and as long as you exist, the other guy gets the best of her, none of her ****, because she is trying to prove to herself that she is a good person in relationships. once you leave, it will be the same again.
Thanks for all the help guys, please keep sharing if there is anything else you need to tell. HP, no she did not cheat on me. She lied to me, and I caught her red handed. It doesn't matter what it is, she lied to me three times during the duration of my relationship with her. Each time she did, she promised she would not do it again. I'm not perfect, I've lost my temper a lot, yelled, etc., but I never lied to her.
This is getting ridiculous. Reading threads like these make me like my gf more and more. She's not a cutter, if i popped the question she would stay awake, and she loves meat.
You can have an awesome girl, and a crummy relationship. You can have an addicting relationship with a girl that is bad news. In either case, have your fill and then hit the kill switch. You're clearly at the point. Hit the switch.
good...sorry I just had to get the "cheating" thing out of the way. Lying to you and cutting her wrists means she feels guilty. She doesn't like the way she is. Don't have any advice about that, except to say that depending on her age, she won't change until she is forced to, (by like having to find another bf because you left her). The great thing about being a guy in relationships is you can make a statement by just never calling her again. Girls have a big problem with calling guys who don't call them. It is the benefit we have for having to always make the first move by getting their phone number and calling them to ask them out.
