Thought I'd start the obligatory companion thread to Lady_Di's thread. For women: I promise I won't steal your boyfriend, we're bffs, xoxo!!!! For men: Your turn to be wing man tonight, bro'
I'll let you date my sister if you buy me beer every time we hang out. To be fair, that's only all true. In my situation, anyway.
"Hey man, last night I downloaded like 2 terabytes of p*rn, you want some?" "Hey man, I got the check tonight" "Bro, see that girl over there? Well, I am gonna take her back to my place, turn off the lights, and then say 'I have to sue the bathroom', when I leave, you go in and sex her, ok?" One of those things actually happened.
Well, I'll NEVER say that to you, sir. Or to anyone, for that matter. On the phone: "Damn. Ok. I'll be right there since you got me the last time. What's the fastest way to get to that jail?"
Ah, "Taking one for the team"...we've all been there, haven't we? C'mon be honest... I'll be doing that tonight as my buddy wants to get to know this girl we met at a bar, and honestly, I don't remember exactly what her friend looks like, but she may be a little heavy... That's what friends are for...right?
woman: "i'll be on your side no matter what if you were wrong in your relationship' man: "bros before hoes"
me : "Sure i'll sit there and bite my tongue while you prance around gleefully with an immature little daddy's girl until you wind up married to her with 2 kids and then you realize you hate you life" ouch.
