[Long] I've become a manwhore, now how do I change

Why should I be a disclaimer? At 26, you are doing nothing more than experiencing life, as well as your cohorts and one-nighters. Should they not know that? Then they're idiots.

Life is about life, IMO. Believe and trust yourself, and you'll be fine.

And, much to y'all's bemusement, I'm still a fatty...

 

I skim through your post, but if you really are lonely then find a stable girl. It seems like you have no trouble attracting girls, so just find the right one and hold onto her. *gay talk off*

 

Are you afraid of commitment or are you unable to commit because of work or both?

If its the last two you should try to reconnect with your maker, family, friends, and most importantly yourself to eliminate the need of random sex. The sex makes you feel better about yourself. You know, "hell yeah, i just had HER."

That first one is probably alot harder to fix. I would say it would take you rearranging the way you view women. It would probably involve talking to a chick with very different "ambitions".

Take it for what its worth. This advice is coming mostly from older former "player" friends and family members. Almost all of them took one of the routes i was talking about or got so old that the women the were hitting on didn't find them attractive anymore. Hope it helps.

 

I, unfortunately have never experienced this pimpalicious lifestyle, because I really don't travel around too often and two Olga never called me back. This is despite being the only guy in town who has nothing wrong with him..

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with your situation unless you really don't like it. 26 is quite young. Most people I know don't even think of getting married until 29-35. So I would just enjoy the life for however long it lasts.

 

What exactly does your job entail, and how much does it pay?

 

Find a job that doesn't require you to travel, then settle down and meet someone.

 

Perhaps it's time for you to take a step back and embrace your spirituality. Find some inner peace before you continue this destructive behavior and get yourself in real trouble.

 

You were young, and experiencing life. You had a lot of fun, but it seems like that phase is over for you. That's not bad. You were right to be honest.

But I guess there comes a point when you realize that the bad feeling you have lasts longer than the 30 minutes or 2 hours of fun you had the night before.

That's just gaining wisdom, and nothing to beat yourself up over. It seems like you understand the feelings your actions caused in others, and you are tired of it, and want more for yourself and others.

Maybe now if you meet someone you can still be honest. Tell them how you've been, and tell them you're trying to change that. Try and overcome your temptation for immediate pleasure, to have a longer lasting pleasure in your life.

If you succeed at this new endeavor and don't like it, you can always go back to being the way you were.

 

To quit an addiction, it is pretty vital to remove yourself from the sources of temptation and in your case I don't think that's a feasible option. I am younger than you but was in a similar situation with girls, it was narcissistic and reckless and I would tell myself I was just keeping it "real" with them. However, a tough life lesson humbled me and I was able to remove myself from the path of beautiful women and learn more about what "love" really is.

Also, I grew up overseas and was also viewed as an "an exotic commodity". It's a lot of fun initially, but it does tend to leave you with an emptiness as it's hard to be "normal" and identify with those around you. Basically, you need to find a girl who understands your raw personality and won't worship you for superficial reasons. Best luck of finding that is back home.

Heh, the salary question was just for my own knowledge. How did you wind up as an aviation security consultant with an entrepreneurship degree?

 

Yeah, as a couple other people have mentioned, your life doesn't necessarily suck. The issue seems to be that YOU aren't happy with it. It sounds more like you seek companionship and if it is this big of a problem you might be at the wrong job. Other that you can only turn to family and religion.

An old trick my grandmother taught me was to physically list the things that you want in life (in order of importance) and the things that currently make-up your life (in order of time spent on). If you're being truthful when you make the list you'll probably see a big discrepancy between the two. You should work towards making them coincide (obviously a lifetime goal).

I would say that most guys would consider where you're at now to be a goal atleast for the age. If you consider yourself to be just wasting your time, maybe you're just mature for your age and need to move on to something new.

 

I agree with everything pmac says, reconnect with family and friends. Get back some of that familiarity, to feel like you got some support behind you so you dont feel like you just got thrown out into the cruel empty world all alone (okay might be sappy but just in case its necessary...) Being far away from familiarity can make it easier to go person to person without much emotional investment. But it can also make you feel you want to connect with people MORE cuz you dont HAVE familiarity around you. At least thats my theory...

Also, people promote and romanticize the pimp/playa "bachelor" lifestyle, hitting chicks left and right without care...but the one negative about it IS the lack of care. Sometimes you DO want to care. There's nothing wrong with that. If you do go serious and are afraid of the repercussions, the one way to protect yourself is condoms and pre-nuptial agreements

An aside...My non-expert opinion on women's feelings getting hurt is...man it does not MATTER what you do - women are BUILT to lay on feelings of guilt and making you feel like you come up short, no matter the situation or type of relationship. Not saying dont take what women feel to heart too much, but almost ALL women at some point ask the question "Where is This Going?" Because 90% the path it SHOULD go in their mind is marriage and kids. Are YOU OBLIGATED to provide that to a woman? Is that your sworn duty in life to provide a woman her dream life cuz she'll be "pouty" when you dont? You do that when YOU'RE ready

 

Quit being such a vag. Enjoy it while you can.

 

Is traveling around South America a must for your job? IMO, I think it's going to be very hard for you to change your lifestyle back to the way you want it to be unless you settle down in one city.

 

Have you ever traveled to Eastern Europe, like Latvia, Belarus..? There women will have sex with you if you just give them a toothbrush.

 

Man, don't even sweat it. The uncontrollable herpes and chlamydia outbreaks will slow you down before you know it.