Here's my description of a PERFECT one: comes out clean, requires no extra wiping it makes no noise, so your neighbor doesn't hear it provides your body with a sense of relief, like you just got some weight off your shoulders does not smell, or does not leave any smell behind is not accompanied by a thunderous response (gas) is long and solid, providing more space for food I think I had one just before I came back to the office. I have to empty the container (if you know what I mean), before I head off to lunch. What do YOU consider to be a perfect one? Hey, we haven't discussed this in a while...
no splashing and kinda sticks out of the water, like a whale peeking out from under the water. and has a nice little tip, sorta like the top of a ice cream cone.
Another Clutchfans poop thread.....this place is like a scat fetish site sometimes...er not that I would know what one looked like.
Please add your choice of smileys... so that I might know if you're joking, being serious, or don't want to discuss human biology, sir.
Dude, the best ones are always raucous. Like you gave birth or something. You skip like an 8 year old girl out of the restroom you feel so light.
Like an Olympic high diver who scores a perfect 10. ...Or I've been a ticking time bomb and I've got to go like Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber.
i don't care about disturbing my neighbor, i mean, you're in a bathroom. i think it's funny when people try to stay really quiet, who cares? in fact, i intentionally attempt to make loud noises and big splashes.
...I really don't have much else to add to this thread. I guess that when they don't smell, burn, or are messy to clean up.
I think it should have a good rich brown color to it. Too dark/black might mean you've got liver problems, And green is just creepy.
Thank you, guys and gals, 'for yo kontribushons' to this thread. A coworker and I were talking about this just a couple minutes ago... and he mentioned that the PINCH might have to do something with it: If you pinch too early, you cut it off, and it might not splash because the entry doesn't close the water quickly, creating a diver's entry like professorjay mentioned. On the other hand, if you DON'T pinch it, and the end is round, sort of like the tip of a Cuban cigar, then there is a closing splash - this is how I prefer them... round on top... 'cuz they're clean and you know they have an "end." ADDING TO THAT, is the fact that if you DO have some splash, it's a natural way to make the cleaning easier. If there is no moisture, you can have some paper particles... and if there is some wetness, it just helps. I think we can have a double-edged sword with the entry and the splash factors, here. Agreements? Comments? Critiques? Suggestions?
Well put, the proper amount of moisture is necessary for the perfect one-wipe-swipe. the second swipe is just for insurance
It's "Oh, wait..." (you need a pause after "Oh")... and I have to find all the 100 posts where you've said this. Also... "[shakes head] Taken. " <- name that movie (difficulty: moderate)
For 4th of July this year I'm planning on a Red White & Blue tribute. So far I have the red covered..which is blood. The white which is a potassium deficiency but i'm having a hell of a time with the blue... maybe i'll just go mexiCAN and eat some spinach...or it could go Italian. depends on if I can control the order.
