Here's the deal: I recently broke up w/ my girlfriend of 6 years. Suffice it to say that we'd grown apart and that the decision to end the relationship was more or less mutual. I'm now 28 years old and I haven't really been in the 'dating scene' for 6 years. I'm not very good at 'picking up' girls and all of my close friends are either engaged, married, or married w/ kids so it's not like I could just go to some club w/ them and start chatting up random chicks. Besides, I'm a fairly average looking guy and I'm a little bit shy so I doubt I'd be sending off a good vibe in that type of situation. Also, my current job is fairly demanding and it's not as though there are any prospects in that department either. I've been so used to the dating scene in school, be it college, grad school, etc that I'm really at a loss as to where to go or what to do to meet women my age or slightly younger. so to finally get to the point, what do you guys think about online dating (e.g. match.com, eharmony, etc)? Is it a final admission of social defeat or is it now an acceptable medium for meeting women? If you guys don't like online dating, then what suggestions do you have for someone like me?
Never done it...Currently have a gf, but I believe its a pretty efficient method of finding girls and dating...Seems like it cuts out half the bs...You know the other person is looking for someone and the 2 of you go out to discover if you guys are right for each other...
I don't know why this would not be fine. Everything is moving online, why not find your dates online?
One of the cool thing you get to do as couples is tell others the "how we met" story. So getting a date from eharmony is out of question for me.
Some would say doing such thing is pathetic, I, however, disagree. It's a technology based society now. Networking sites such as Myspace, Facebook, E-Harmony, etc. have allowed people to meet and establish a relationship with half of the BS, like one posted stated. I wouldn't be too reliable on the internet, though. I'd still make an attempt to go out and socialize. Perhaps grab some buddies one night and go mingle. So to answer your question, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
This is coming from a person who hasn't had to wade into the dating pool for 10+ years, but I can't imagine many people thinking that online dating is pathetic anymore. I would think that the chances of finding someone whose interests are similar to yours would be better with a dating service than at any traditional pickup location. I've met so many people who have found their spouse or significant other online to argue with the decision.
Nothing wrong with it at all. I've done it in the past. Nothing too serious though. For me on a personal level, it was a shield. I wasn't comfortable enough with who I was to pickup girls in real life, ANYWHERE (not just bars, clubs, blah blah). I stopped it and worked more on my in-life game, which is... alright. Then again, it ties directly into my self-confidence/self-esteem in general which is "alright". A long answer short, it's perfectly acceptable. Just be able to have a conversation sometimes with a girl offline if you go online. To me anyone that says it's pathetic needs to get with the fact that some of us actually live in the 21st century and not the 1500s anymore.
Our society is disconnected...our ability to communicate has had both gains and losses because of technology. Many people today have problems to communicate with others directly and technology is the culprit. So deal with it and online date
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I think it's perfectly fine, and much better than traditional methods in several ways. One thing I would avoid is trying to narrow things down too much. There might be a tendency to do that since you can see a lot of their interests and personal information right off the bat. Just sign up for a dating site, throw out some bait and be open to lots of proposals. The worst thing that could happen is probably not as bad as being lonely and struggling in the "real" dating scene for the rest of your life.
Some people look at those who fall in love via email or internet dating sites as "weird" or "inferior" terms to meet people by. I say that devaluing the text in an email or the pictures on a website to mere digits in a computer would be like me saying that someone who meets someone is person is just listening to vibrations in the air when they hear someone talk, or just observing a reflection of a light spectrum when they see someone for the first time. The channel or method is not what matters, it is the end result that does. To those who say it is unnatural or socially unacceptable, there were once people before you who assumed that getting married to someone without even meeting them first was an acceptable practice. Communication changes how we interact with each other, and that includes dating. Pretty soon, online dating will BE the norm.
My friend met his wife online. He said he just had one of those free accounts and she really liked what she saw so she found him (cause the free ones don't let you contact one and another) and from then on it was magic. I think it depends on your age. If you're in college then it's a waste, it is soo easy to meet people if you know how to look, if you're older its not as easy especially if you have a career. Then again, go all Tony Robbin's on yourself, be happy with where you're at and magically something happens, you get more girls than you know what to do. I've noticed in my own life, when I am successful at school and work girls flock to me. It's when I worry and search for girls that I eff up and I'm alone.
It has definitley gained ground with regards to being socially acceptable...You're on to something when you say social defeat as that is the stigma... Well, from personal experience, it's easy to find girls to date, but its harder to find "normal" girls (quality vs. quantity)...I've done match (site to date tons of girls) and eharmony (supposedly a site to find the one)...There is yahoo as well, which I'll try within the next couple of days...Having said that, people lie, so just be on the lookout for the "to good to be true" girl... I met my last one on eharmony, found out she lied about some pretty important things...we finally broke up last night...She came to my house un-announced at 11:30 last night because I didn't return her calls...that kind of freaked me out...just keep an opened mind...It's just another avenue and doesn't replace going out in social situations to meet the one...
one of my friends used Match.com or one of those online dating sites and she met her current boyfriend there...so i guess it's not pathetic.
I don't see any shame of doing it. I've openly discussed on here I met my ex on MySpace in 04 before it was a fade. We went out for 2+ years and have no complaints. now what happen afterwards, thats another story but, go for it, really got nothing to lose
I think it can be either good or really bad. Depends on how much you're actually willing to share with a complete stranger about who you are. Trust can be difficult when you're talking to someone you've never seen face to face. When finalsbound and I met over clutchfans we mainly chatted on AIM about the rockets and stuff and it just sort of grew into a fondness that eventually led to phone calls, and then to a meeting, and now into a serious relationship that has lasted 2+ years and going better than ever. I was always very careful in what I said to her though, I didn't want her to get the wrong idea about what I was, or who I was. If you want it to work you have to be honest and most importantly your true self. You find more and more people these days who meet this way though.
protip: If you're looking at a pic, and she looks pretty good, and wonder why it was taken at such an odd angle (usually from above to minimize excess chins) - KEEP LOOKING
