Sorry, my parents divorced when I was 5. I haven't seen my dad since. So forgive me if I beg to differ. And also I don't need to have kids to know that, thats a lesson learned through scorn.
Do what's best for your son. If you feel that the guy she's seeing now is a douchenozzle and you don't want your son to be influenced by him, do your best to take custody. Seek a lawyer to help you, it is harder for the Father to take custody over the Mother most times all things being equal. Make her and her new love interest pay YOU for child support. Move on, meet new people, take your son to church, holler at some fly honeys. Your ex-wife will be knocking on your door trying to get you back if you are able to take custody, improve your life and move on. Get your son and forget about her, sign up for counseling on your own to help you with the process. Use this as motivation to upgrade, who knows, you'll probably find someone better for you than your ex. Most of all, good luck
I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do but don't think that because she has cheated on you that you are getting the kid(s). In my experience, it doesn't work that way. You aren't getting a break in child support, you aren't getting more "community property", and unless she is a drug addict or physically abusive, you are not getting the kid(s) either. If you bail, work to get your life together, your finances together, and work toward having an environment that is great for your kid(s). If I had it to do over again, I'd have bailed the first time my ex wife cheated on me. I wasted a lot of time and energy trying to make her do the right thing and all it did was bring me down. Now I have a wife that is fantastic and makes me incredibly happy.
You are the victim. She has hurt you, betrayed your trust...not your son. The time for re-courting has passed. Take care of yourself and your son. What if the tables were turned? Would your wife be ok if you were seeing someone else? Doubt it. Your main worry seems to be your son, and rightfully so. That being the case, take the advice of getting a lawyer. Women already have favor in court, so if you hope to have more time with your son and keeping him as far away from the other cheater in this situation, you better get ready and plan for it now.
I agree with this 100%. Even if you get back together, you will never be able to trust her again and you'll always question what she is doing at all times. This will only cause more problems. You'll also resent her forever and throw her cheating back into her face when you get a chance. You keep saying she's a good person but I don't think a good person would lie and cheat. I have never met her but all I know is that I can never be with anyone that has no Integrity but that's just me. With regards to her still loving you - I think her interest level in you has gone way below 50% (hence, her cheating), I don't think she loves you anymore. Anyway, GL with everything.
WOW!!!...So sorry to hear about that...IMHO, she's probably already banged the guy...She's been lying up to this point and once somebody starts, it's hard to stop...I know, not your wife, but trust me, she's feeling real guilty as that's why she wants you to hate her... If you can live with the lies/deceit, which will be hard and can be overcome, they go to counseling...But don't go for the sake of you son or because you don't want another guy filling the roll of "dad"...Do it because you want to spend the rest of your life with her... I've been through a bad divorce and wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but I can honestly say it was the best thing that could have happened to me, to be able to find happiness...I'm still looking, but I like having the option... I can give all kinds of advice...If you are heading down the path of divorce and if you need legal/divorce advice, feel free to e-mail me...I'm no lawyer, but I went through a crappy divorce to know what not to do...When things start getting changing to what you agreed upon, LAWYER UP...Good luck...
Sorry to hear about your situation. I hope everything works out for the best. The advice I give is the one I would take if I found myself in your shoes. First I'd go looking for the guy and kick his ass. Very disrespectful to mess with another man's significant other. Then I would pack my bags and leave her. Why be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Then use everything within your power to gain custody of your kid. I could never be away from my kids. Best of luck.
I'm sorry that you're going through this. Follow your gut with what you think is the best. If she doesn't want to work things out, it's best to let go and take care of your kid. Best of luck.
There are two types of marriages: the first, and the most common, is the loveless marriage; the second, the extremely rare one, is the one with love. These two were in a loveless marriage. Had they acknowledged that fact in the beginning they would either still be married, albeit in a professional, business-like marriage, or they would have never married in the first place.
one line and one line only: "...you can lead a heart to love, but you can't make it fall..." regards, George Strait refer to my first response...her decision has already been made... 1) she's done the damage 2) you can't trust her anymore 3) if you somehow magically stay with her you will no longer be "the man" of the house because she has you by the balls 4) why would you want to stay with her if you yourself are unsure and seeing as she's gone behind your back already !?!? let it go dude, it's best for the both of you...and i don't wanna hear this "it;s better for the kid" stuff cuz it ain't... p.s. i didn't read any other responses because i know if you took the time to spill this out i wanted to at least give you an unbiased opinion on what i would do personally...obviously it's gonna be hard dude, but hey, it's just another mountain you have to climb in life... God speed
I honestly feel for you. I'm going through a similar situation with my 5 year relationship. There are several key differences, but the emotions involved are very similar, I'm sure. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your family. Download "Someday" by John Legend from the August Rush soundtrack if you feel like crying.
It may be a question of which came first, the chicken or the egg. Like some people are saying, she may have been a cheater anyway and looking for an excuse to justify what she was doing... or, on the other hand, she may have felt neglected in her marriage and desperately sought some sort of outside comfort. It is suspicious that you didn't think you were going to miss her that much until you found out you were losing her to somebody else. If you do try to get back together, make sure you can really mean it, even years later after the dust settles. A lot of us have been through it. The bbs got a good play-by-play of mine a while back. I'm not proud of some of the things I did or the way I did them, but that's what happens when you let things get to, or past, the desperation point. In hindsight, I should have been divorced long, long before I actually was. I haven't missed my ex at all - it doesn't feel like there was much relationship there to miss. I hope to learn from all this and not get into another marriage that feels like a trap. She should have told you the whole truth, though. The sneaking around and lying part may well be the worst part of this. We women are funny creatures, and we're good at retaining dormant feelings for someone we never got over back when, goodness knows why. Also, if our relationship is going badly, we will want some good prince to rescue us. (and even if we did not have previous feelings for him, and he resembles more of a frog who is never going to turn into a prince, we won't care if we're desperate enough) There are lots of douchebags that prey on women getting out of, or needing to get out of, bad relationships, and these affair-type things never last; however, it's definitely a sign that there were problems in the marriage and they will be hard to repair, if possible at all. If you want to try for your child's sake, that's admirable, but be careful. This would require a lot of repair.
I was under the impression that most people get married in Western countries because they are in love. Most of the time people don't get married because it is a better financial decision. I could be wrong, but that is what I always thought. After a few years, the couples that don't really have that much intensity of love anymore eventually break up. But to say people get married when they don't even really love each other in the first place seems very puzzling to me.
you think that's puzzling... even when there is love.. it's not always what it seems... then you add that to what most people's minds are comprised of.. inherent inclination to bs/confusion/propensity to overthink/lack of self-awareness.. and other unecessary, inane clutter.. and so even with love... marriage is not always a sound decision... which sux.. as I am/was... was/am... was... maybe still am.. one of the few that actually DID want to someday have a family....
