I got out of bed and proceeded to pick up my shirt from the side of my bed when I hear a pop and a see a white light followed by a dull pain under my brow. Turns out I busted the shiet out of my face on the bedpost. Not a great way to start the day, but I'll live(barring any killer antibiotic resistant staph). It got me to thinking.....What was the worst injury I 've had that was completely my fault? It was probably a head first dive into a corner of a brick wall trying to catch a flyball....I still remember my coach's look as I was being rushed to the hospital. It was a combination of and
Yeah, I may have lit a few too many farts back in college. There were several times when my jeans actually caught on fire.
When I was five I saw a black cat near where I lived and I tried to scare it by slapping a stick on the group. The cat hissed back at me and scared the piss out of me and I started running... with my eyes closed. Slammed into the corner of the brick wall and split my noggin open. Thirty years later I can still see (and feel) the scar.
I had gone to a Pizza buffet and ate my weight in pizza. So needless to say I could barely walk. I felt like crap and needed to take one too but I guess I was a little constipated so I decided to eat some "Lucas." For those of you who are not mexican, its a powdered candy that is sour and hot. I only like the sour kind, so I got a new bottle of lucas and some water. When you mix those two, it makes u crap within 15 minutes, but I ate the whole bottle and alot of water. I was basically peeing through my ass for about 4 hours after that. It was painful too. Never again.
Seconded. Once my friend was too drunk and broke a beer bottle over his own head. 10 staples. That was four years ago and his head still randomly bleeds in the spot.
Drinking too many long islands at Live one night did it for me. Haven't had one since. but I want one.
Not where I thought this thread was gonna go, but it's cool. My only drug experience besides (420) was when my "friend" talked me into taking 16 triple c's while on "vacation" in Ponca City,Oklahoma. He also took 16 but he was 250-300. He had already tried them and knew his sweet spot. I was around 160 at the time and hadn't done a drug besides grass in my life. Next thing I knew I was walking alone around the unfamiliar city for for 13 or so hours wondering how to release my concious from the prison cell I envisioned it in. I eventually found my way to the hotel and proceeded to lay down when he flipped on the light and said that my eyes looked like Brad Pitt's from 12 monkeys. I don't know what happened after that, I just woke up feeling confused.
I was building a staircase for my backyard deck. As construction progressed I got more and more excited at the prospect of being able to finally walk up to the french doors on the second level of the deck and into my kitchen from the backyard. Consequently, I got stupid. Really stupid. I had just placed a few stairs in the middle of the staircase (If I had placed them at the bottom the dog would have driven me nuts following me up and down...). I had to make a cut for the next stair, but being accustomed to walking through the stairless stairs, I walked forward to go under them. And straight into the newly placed stairs. And not gently. Like I said, I was excited. My head was lowered and I was moving with purpose. Stair connected right on the upper part of my forehead. I could feel my spine compress and the shiny white light pulse like the whole thing was in slow motion. Amazingly I did not knock myself out. But I scared the crap out of my wife who turned the corner into the backyard and saw me lying in a heap on the ground. That really hurt. I also trimmed a finger once with a really sharp santuku knife. Cut the tip of the pointer off, sliced straight through the nail of my middle finger, and made a nice line perfectly though my thumbnail too. I still have blood specks on the ceiling (yes, the motherfarking ceiling!) of my kitchen from that episode of brilliance. Be careful with sharp knives.
Overindulgence. Usually more noticeable when its alcohol instead of food. I don't think I ever would have voluntarily slept in my bathtub using the shower curtain as a blanket. My girlfriend was pissed and didn't accept my "bathroom camping" explanation. Blech. My fault.
In 6th grade gym class, we were supposed to hop on one foot all the way down the length of the BBcourt, at the other end switch feet, and hop back on the other... Dummy meggo didn't think it was pertinent to tie her shoes... Tripped over my own laces and broke both bones in my left forearm.
Ouch, that sucks. No shoelace phobia now though right? Is yours a velcro world? You could feel fortunate you didn't break both arms. I went to school with a guy who broke both and he was stuck walking around looking like C-3PO for a while. It was funny.
Hahaha, this thread is funny. I've done two dumbest things. 1) Almost three years ago, when I was at work. I had put my bag in the reclining file cabinet at the top of the cube. I needed something in the bag so I opened the door and didn't set it properly. As I was looking for the item, the door came down and hit the bridge of my nose. I passed out a bit after that. I had to be taken to the ER front of my co workers. Yeah, fun stuff. 2) This past birthday, I had more than 5 shots of Patron. Later that home, I fell on my knees. I had an ugly and big protrusion on my right knee. I also had the worst hangover ever in my life. So never again!!!!
At age 12 I ran up the down escalators at the Hong Kong airport... I busted my knee up pretty bad when I fell down... I remember being so ashamed as i sat on the escalators all the way down to the bottom...while my family rode the up escalators... when we crossed paths my mom saw the look of pain in my face and began yelling at me... my sister laughed. I had a bad limp for the entire East Asian vacation we took (3 weeks) that sucked.
Every Fall I tell myself that it's the Rockets' year. Consequently every spring I end up sleeping in my bathtub. But seriously, next year its THE true year that is ours.
