My Step-Mom's mother passed away yesterday afternoon, oh I guess about 11 hours ago. I can't sleep. I'm just saddened by it all. I was already into that spring-time-bummed-out-zone due to it being 11 days before the 14th anniversary of my mom's passing. April is not fun to me. Thank goodness there's some playoff basketball coming up... Or I'd just stay bummed it seems. But really, no amount of activity can take away the pain of losing a loved one, especially your mom. I had a good cry earlier... but it still hurts. I hurt for my Dad and his wife, my Step-Mom... I'm just saddened... but I'm leaving the mood the same on the myspace page. Got to keep the good face forward and all...
My mom passed away 6 years ago and its 2 days before her passing.. Thanks for reminding me assh*le On the reals, call me a momma's boy if you want, but the love of your own mother is one that can never be replaced. People can try(like step moms), but they'll never love you the way your mother did. For most people, their mother is probably the person who has love for them the most(with father coming in 2nd). So when she is no longer there, there's a huge void . Thats how i feel sometimes.
Why do you hang on to this? It has been 14 years and you still let youself get down at the anniversary? IMO if you dealt with it year round, then the anniversary wouldn't be this tough for you. My dad died 7 years ago and I honestly couldn't tell you the exact date. I miss him every day, but I'm ok, I'm over it - life goes on for me. I don't actually get sad or down about it anymore, it has been 7 years - thats the way I look at it.
I lost my grandmother (father's side) 7 months ago. I lost my grandfather (mom's side) 3 years ago. I also lost my other grandfather like 8 years ago. Now that I look back, I wish I had spend more time with them.
It's normal for people to feel sad at the anniversaries of the loss of a loved one, no matter how long it's been. My mom still gets sad on the anniversaries of my father's passing... not only the year, but even the one-month ones. Myself, I don't let myself think about it like that, but for a lot of people it will never be easy. Sorry for your loss now, and prayers for you and the family.
sorry to hear bout the loss, roc. be strong, go forward, and thank God that the time that she was here to make your family's life better.
Thanks everyone for the kind words. Life just is different for everyone... and we all handle grieving differently. Part of why I have it so hard each April is that my Dad was in the hospital with double pneumonia 4 days after we buried Mom. So I didn't really grieve, or have time to, the week or month of. I had to be the strong one. In fact, my Dad went into such funk of depression for many years that I never got much personal grieving time. Each situation is different. For my step-Mom... she lost her mother after basically caring for her for 35 years. So, I can only imagine the companionship and dependency on one another they had. Their bond was unique, as is every relationship, mother-to-child and vice versa. I know this... I am thankful that my Dad has my step-Mom, and that she has him at this time. She has been the key to him getting out of his life's lowest points -part of why they fell in love and were married- but now I know that Dad will help her in this time to let herself grieve. It's the advice I gave her on the first phone call I placed to her moments after her mother passed... "Don't make the mistake that so many do... Let yourself grieve. If you need to cry, do it. Don't bottle it up." I'm a great deal better today. And I know that she is too. It's been a long illness involving years as a heart patient, and then recent kidney failure and hospice care. My step-Mom was a hospice nurse for 30+ years... but even with that, it is difficult when it is your loved one. But thanks for all your prayers and kind thoughts. For the few who seem to not understand... just realize that we all grieve differently, and letting people grieve how they must is best for the individuals involved. Having children brought the empty feeling and the feeling of missing someone -or someone is missing- back to the forefront in my life... And there have been years that it did not seem to bother me as much... I guess with the recent illness (I HATE death and hospitals, FWIW) all of those memories have resurfaced. So anyway... not to bum anyone out... And thanks again.
Sadder update. My step-Mom's brother's mother-in-law was found dead in her home yesterday... And my dad's church had a man in his congregation found dead on his pilot boat on Friday. I hear these things come in threes... but wow... never have seen it so close. Some people say 3's and 7's... I also have an aunt on my wife's side in ICU, a church member in hospice care, and another member in renal failure.. combined with RocketsMac's loss of his friend, we may be approaching 7. Hope not. We're up to 3 that I knew personally. That's enough.
