[Help] Would it be unreasonable to sue for defamation of character here?

Okay. I'm sure a lot of you remember my multiple threads about what went down between my ex-fiancee and me. It's now been around 7 months since it happened.

Here's the situation, as concisely as I can put it:

She cheated on me in May (we were still engaged), then when she was on a research trip in June she jumped straight into bed with some guy she just met, and she's still with him. She fed me all this bull***** about how she feels bad about it, and that she still cares about it, and that if there were anything she could do to make it better, she would. I said "okay, there is one thing. Just tell me the truth. The whole truth. Don't BS me at all. That's all I want, and that's not something I should even need to ask for." She agreed.

But of course, she kept lying to me. Over and over and over. And she lied to everyone else too, of course, about what had gone down between us. I would catch her in her lies, she would deny them, I would insist that "no, I'm not stupid, I know you're lying about x or y," and then she'd admit to the lie and get all pissed and hang up on me or whatever. This happened 3 or 4 times. The last time it happened, she said something like "well yeah I've been telling you lies, but you wouldn't believe me if I told you the truth anyway." Of course I told her "you said you wanted to do something for me. All I asked for was honesty, and you agreed. Secondly, how can you know I wouldn't believe the truth if you've never tried giving it to me?" She got really mad, said that we shouldn't talk until it had been six months since the breakup, and she promised to finally talk to me and not BS me then.

That last call was in early September. Since then I've contacted her only twice: one e-mail in early November, which was basically a "Hi, hope things are going well... bye" message, and that was all. She never responded, naturally. Then I called her once in late December and left her a voicemail, simply saying "hey, you promised you'd talk to me and finally tell me the whole truth now... so I'll be waiting." And that was it. Only contacted her twice in the past 4 months. Seeing as she had a track record for both lying and breaking promises, I figured she'd never call back. I was fine with letting it lie. I didn't even think about her again until... yesterday.


Not one, but two of her friends call me up yesterday. They tell me they had talked to her recently, and that she seemed incapable of talking about anything besides that I was a totally unreasonable b*stard, and that I was harassing her, and could she do anything about it legally? So they asked her what I had done, and she explained how I had sent the e-mail in November, and how I had called and left a voicemail a month ago. Both of the friends told her she was being totally ridiculous; that there's no way that could qualify as harassment, especially considering she had agreed to talk to me. And apparently, she's been telling everyone that will listen a load of lies about me, and how I'm stalking/harassing her, etc. They were both very angry about it, and naturally I am too.

I was all ready to let this go (in fact, after that final voicemail, I DID let it go). But I'm tired of her making up lies and slandering me. I really am. This is total bull*****, and I want it to stop.

So my question to the board is: can I do anything about this legally? Could this qualify as defamation of character?

 

People I don't even know are going to think I'm a b*stard before I even meet them. That could hurt me for any number of reasons in future... what if one of them is a potential employer down the line? We both live in the same area.

I know it would be tough. It just pisses me off so damn bad.

And yes, I do want to know the truth. I don't know why so many people think that's strange.

Like I said, I had gotten over everything else. I let it go after that final call. But it's a little hard to let it go when she's lying out her ass about me to everyone who will listen, and is apparently incapable of having a conversation with anyone about anything without slandering me.

That was the plan. Then her friends called me up and told me this. I didn't ask them about it. They told me. No prompting on my part. That's not "ripping the scab off", that's "having the scab ripped off."

 

Again, I haven't so much as thought about her for a month. Her friends called me to tell me this. I didn't call them.

 

Now that's a pretty good idea, actually. How do I go about getting a restraining order?

 

You think one e-mail and one voicemail in 4 months, when she had agreed to talk beforehand, consitutes harassment?

I'm sorry, but her own friends who have know her all her life aren't siding with her on this. Don't know why you're inclined to.

 

Because she made a promise to tell me the truth. I never expected to actually get it, but since she DID make that promise, I figured it couldn't hurt to make a single phone call to try to collect on that promise.

And for the umpteenth time, the only reason this came back up is because her friends called me up. I didn't go looking for trouble yesterday.

 

Well, she sent me quite a number of inflammatory e-mails in September. If I were to get one or two more in the near future, would I have grounds?