Would You Date a Divorced/Single Woman Who Has Kids?

If I were not married....


I would have no problem dating or getting involved with a woman who had kids. Of course, they'd be part of the equation in making the relationship work.

 

Being fifteen, I would have a tough time with this issue.

 

Hehe...you're fifteen and already a senior member....

I know what Manny means, though. It definitely does not make things less complicated if the woman you date has a kid...

 

Can you see yourself marying a woman and dealing with being a good 'father' to these kids? If not, then don't.

 

Older the berry, the sweeter the juice...

 

Are the fathers in these kids still in their lives? If so, that could be a problem. It's a sticky situation. I was in a relationship like that, and her kids never liked me even though I was extremely nice to them. I don't think they liked the idea of me replacing their father. Alot of children still have the idea that their parents may get back together and they view you as the problem.

 

All depends on what your looking for...and what they're looking for. Personally, I don't really have a problem doing the short term thing with a married lady with kids....it's when they want to get serious is when questions arise. You also have to remember that there's usually a father out there too, and that can be awkward(sometimes downright nasty ) at times...depending on how the breakup was. But I suppose if the right one came along....then the kids wouldn't really be a hinderance.

One thing I've noticed though, is that there's a fat market out there of exquisite single ladies with kids that are really in need of some good company.....

 

I would say just be patient bro. You already sound reluctant even by asking the question. Of course if you love the girl, there would be no questions in your mind what the correct decision would be.

I have dated a few single moms. They are a bit more refreshing to hang out with, but like you, I want to start from scratch when I decide one day to settle down. So I never let any relationships develop.

Just look in different places for some single chics without the little ones.

 

Dude, just hit it then split. There's nothing wrong with letting a chick know that you're money and you want to party.

 

a real man doesn't shoplift the pooty, manny.

seriously, though, it all depends on you, man. if you want to step up to be the guy in that situation, it might end up being really rewarding.

on the other hand, if you want "convenience" out of your relationship, it could be a major buzzkill.

 

In my 20's wouldn't even think of dating a girl with a kid.
In my 30's, I got a peculiar liking for soccer moms...mmmmmmmm

I don't know what happened?!

 

Maybe, only if her x-husband had custody and she had visitation rights on holidays and stuff...

but most likely, probably not, nope, wouldn't date a woman with kids...but soccer mom's... hmmmm.... ??

rH

 

I don't think that you should call grown women, mothers, and women older than you "girls." It seems a little demeaning. Society on the whole tends to do this and I have never understood why it persists.

 

Don't get so picky, rimbaud.

 

I agree with Dreamer, woman and kids are a package deal.

I believe that kids get the worse part of the deal no matter how you slice it. I lost my father at 14. My mother remarried about a year later not because she loved the guy, but because my father was all she knew and she had to have a man in her life.

Suffice it to say, there were major problems. My siblings and I (especially me being the eldest) hated the guy. Some of it in respect to our father, some because he was a fricken creep. There were trials and tribulations during their marriage that really changed the way I view marriage. Fortunately it was over in about 2 years and my mom has not married since.

Looking back after reading this most interesting thread, I wonder how my stepfather felt as the guy pursuing the woman.

The odds are certainly not in the guy's favor, unless of course the children of the woman your are pursuing are really young.

 

Can we call them chicks rimmy?

 

LOL. If you live in Houston (especially on the SW side), good luck finding a woman without a kid.

DrewP might have a shot cause he's 15....but the way those lil middle school/high school girls put out these days......I don't know.

 

Well, she better be worth it and treat me right if I'm going to take over Dad responsibilities for her kids. Also, if her ex-husband is a deadbeat Dad who doesn't make his payments, then I might think twice about getting in that relationship. It's unfair for the man to come in and start footing the bill for kids that are not his own. Maybe, over time, this would be acceptable but it's not an ideal way to get into a relationship. The fact is....if your a man who has not had kids and go into a relationship with a woman with kids....that is a pressure situation to be in. You better find your fatherhood skills quickly...there is no time for them to evolve. The kids are there, your in this relationship, and...like it or not...these kids come with the territory and you will be responsible for them. You will be babysitting them and you will be taking them to do things eventually. Alot of my decision will be based on how well the Mom is raising the kid(s). If the kids are spoiled, foul-mouthed brats, then I'm outta there. One kid would be easier than multiple for obvious reasons. If the kids are Rocket fans, then maybe it won't be so bad .

I dunno...it's a life gamble and she better be THE ONE if it's going to be anything more than a short fling. Also, there are probably plenty of hot women out there with kids who have trouble finding men for this very reason. So, if your willing to be a parent of someone else's kids, then you will probably have an easier time of getting the goods if your serious about it. After all, what kind of woman with kids does not need a man around. Their life is probably hell(or at least alot more work) without another adult around....especially if it's one of those deals where she retains full custody.

If your a single Dad with kids, then this would be easier for both sides as then you know what your getting into. Also, don't forget that you never know what the ex-husbands mental state may be. There are plenty of ex-husbands who go whacko and do the unthinkable after they a.) get a divorce b.) barely see their kids c.) have to make large monthly payments to support the kids who he doesn't see enough of d.) think all hope is lost .......and now e.) see this new man in the ex-wife's life who has taken over the fatherhood role. Can you say breaking point? This ex could fly off the handle at any moment and there you are caught in the middle of it. Happens all the time.

Surf

 

My wife was divorced with a 2 year old when we started dating. The father was a deadbeat dad which turned out to be a blessing in disguise as I was able to adopt my daughter and didn't have to deal with him being in her life. We married after around 18 months. We are still happily married 21 years later. Best decision I ever made.