Omega, Hopefully this doesn't come off as trivial, and if so I apologize in advance but...I love your writing. I know you are going through something right now, and doubting your self worth has a lot to do with it...for whatever it's worth I think you're special. I battled depression a few years back and THANK GOD (pg) in my self evaluation I was able to find a few positive things about me that I could build on and now I'm back to my old self. Your post reads like a Peter Farrelly novel and the perspective on your problem makes me want to read more of WHATEVER you write. You may feel like you've given up something in admitting your problem, but know that you've gained a fan. Be well sir. I'll be praying for you...
if you have good insurance you can go to a treatment hospital, find one with a good night program so you can stay at work. they incorporate a lot of things including aa. only drawback, its a co-pay every visit and its like three to four a week for about six weeks. but obviously a good investment in your life.
Omega, you took a huge step by admitting you have a problem. That is huge. Best wishes to you for your recovery. Don't drink and drive. That's how my cousin died.
Get yourself some help...whether it be aa or just friends. You know what the problem is...now take care of it.
dude, you're always welcomed at my place (maybe a bit of drive) if you're looking for some company. can't promise i'd be an entertaining host though. but if you want to catch some rockets games (now in HD sweet) together, give me a ring. no alcohol of course.
Seems like loneliness is your biggest problem, which drove you into alcoholism. I think companionship is what you need the most right now. Maybe move in with your parents, or your sister could help you get through this.
My father is a recovering alcoholic and my childhood has some similarities to yours, though there was never physical abuse. My dad would go in and out of AA and during my teen years I went to AlaTeen (support group for children of alcoholics). With the genetic factors of alcoholism, I was alway worried that me or my brother might end up that way. In high school I partied about the same as most of my friends. In college pretty much the same. While the rest of my friends grew up and had families, I started playing in a band. Pretty much 5-6 nights of the week were a party for me. I never felt that I had to drink or that I couldn't stop, but I still drank almost every night. I quit playing in a band, but I continued working as a musician in a bar. My wife had a problem with my drinking so much and eventually things came to a head and I agreed to quit drinking while I was at work. Even though I always thought that I could go without drinking, I never actually tried. Fortunately, I was able to stop drinking and I was able to adjust to performing without the crutch of drinking. I realized that most of my drinking was related to the anxiety of being on stage. I always thought that I played better when I had been drinking which may have been true for the first 2-3 drinks, but after that I would just do stupid stuff and wake up the next day wondering what the hell I was thinking. Now, I don't drink at all when I'm working and life is so much better. I don't do any of the stupid things that I used to do while drinking. I don't have to worry about getting a DWI (or much worse hurt someone else). Even though my drinking was always paid for by the bar that I was working, I can imagine that it would have saved me hundreds of dollars each month if I was actually drinking on my own tab. Thinking about what my father went through (and continues to struggle with) I consider myself fortunate that I never became a full blown alcoholic with physical addiction. I always had a problem with the AA mentality of the complete abstinence of alcohol. In the right situation, I can have a few beers and be fine with it. Sometimes I'll even have a good binge drinking session if it's one of those times. But now I'll go weeks in between drinking. It's different for each person, but I think that it is possible to learn to drink in moderation. The first thing that you need to find out is if you are physically addicted. If you stop drinking hopefully you don't have DTs which can be serious. Also from what you've described of your own drinking it sounds like you go to the bars to drink because you don't want to be alone and it's nice to have some companionship. If it was just the drinking, you'd stay home where it's safer and much cheaper. Even if you quit drinking you'll still have this need for companionship and as you've mentioned an underlying depression. Maybe with depression medications you can find some other outlets to meet your loneliness issues. It just now occurred to me as I wrote that last sentence that is what AA becomes for many people. Many people go to the bars for companionship, but AA becomes a social gathering place for those people that want to be around other people but without drinking. I do know from my experience with my dad that AA groups really stick together and give a place for social interaction. Actually in a couple of weeks I'm going to be playing an AA dance for my dad's local AA club. I know that this turned out to be a really long message, but just know that there is a lot of support out there and it's just a matter of being really honest with yourself to know what you need to get your life back together.
Few years ago, I got really drunk drinking rum straight from the bottle. I blacked out and ended up driving home. To this day I don't remember driving home. I woke up in my bed the next day with a bloody forehead, a bloody knee, and a bunch of stuff in my living room knocked over. My friends were so worried about me that they came to my apartment and were banging on my door. They said they saw in the window that my feet were hanging off the bed and that's the only way they knew I even made it home. I decided to quit drinking liquor and just to stick to beer after that. I actually started a thread about it here and got some great support from people here, many of whom I've had bbs disagreements with in the past. If search was up, I would post a link. Good luck, OS. Can't really add much to what's already been said except to say that we all support you and hope you get this taken care of.
Sorry to hear about that Omega. I didn't really mean to pry, but well, I understand not wanting to say anything when we met up earlier. You know if you need to talk or anything, me (and I'm sure dave would say the same) are just a Sametime, Text, or even breakroom away. Take care, dude. See you at work.
sorry to hear omega, to be honest I didn't see it in you having this problem. Look happy at work and usually up for anything. ill be praying for you on a speedy recovery and I'm just a few desk down the row if you need anything. edit: scary mig posted almost the same time as me
I've been thinking about this, and I agree- it may be some loneliness. It may be a good idea to get a hobby that you do with other people. If you want to replace an addiction with an addiction, try out World of Warcraft. I don't play that particular MMO, but you can make some good real friends online and satisfy the need to socialize without drinking. I hadn't noticed anyone naysaying yet, I just thought a reminder was important for the thread-jacking types who would make this thread their own crusade. It's not about anyone but omega.
Omega, When I was a teenager, thirteen to be exact. My father drank himself to death. My mother had left him already and had given him every chance to step up and be the man he once was. The doctors told him that if he continued to drink, he would die. He decided that the drink was more important. After his liver couldn’t take it, he lasted 9 months after his last night of drinking. I watched my father die and it was the most painful experience of my life. There were many days and nights that I would ask him why he did this to himself and to us. He couldn’t speak but I know he understood me from the tears in his eyes. This isn’t the road you want to take. First of all, think about yourself. We are only given one life and I hope you decide to make it a good one. Think about those who care about you also. I don’t know you, but I’m sure that you mean alot to your family and those who care for you. Tonight you are in my prayers. M
be careful quitting cold turkey. Withdrawal can be severe, even fatal. Watch for tremors, hallucinations, etc... Safest to go to a hospital and ask for a taper and explain the situation.
Good luck to you. I too, battle the bottle, sometimes with better success than others. I have been to a couple AA meetings but I didn't really put in the work. I have had some success limiting the "instances" of drinking, but I still drink to heavy excess when I do drink. There is help out there for you, and there is no shame. There are legions of alcoholics, binge drinkers and substance abusers out there...in every level of society, all the way up to the highest levels of government. Wishing you well. Fully
i guess its up to you to stop the ongoing trend in your family. sincerely, i wish you the best man. i had a lot of fun playing bball with you and the rest of the guys, so i care for the well being for all of yall. a basketball has always been my "lending ear" for me... so keep playing like someone said before, you took a HUGE step admitting there is a problem, plus, your trying to figure out a way of how to fix it. i wish i could offer some help, but unfortunately i dont have much to offer.... ...unless of course, your looking for more bball. take care of yourself man. seriously!
Dude, you are one of my favorite dudes here. Back when we were playing in that league, my truck got broken into, and you helped me out. I never really got a good chance to pay you back for it, but I was really appreciative for it. I'm here, i got your back. Hope you pull through. Anytime you want to play ball, I'll be there if I can make it.
is it really? although I know that if i were to pick up a drug i would be hooked rather easily... though I did try mar1juana and didn't get addicted to it.. a stronger drug would pretty much take me over.. so i avoid such drugs.. no matter how bad things get for me in my life.. or however much i consider it.. but booze? i can't touch the stuff, can't even bear the smell of it. i get nauseous and develope a headache with a few sips of eggnog.. and nothing turns me off more than a girl with alcohol in her breath.. yet I come from a long line of drinkers and quite a few alcoholics.. from both sides of my would be family..
Omega, I don't personally know much about alcoholism or AA, but I really feel for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm praying that you can kick it.
