Some ideas: "All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific." "Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." "The most dangerous position in which to sleep is with your feet on your office desk." Alternatively, you can get one here: http://despair.com/viewall.html Enjoy.......
Well, let me help you out there... Did you take my stapler? I got a case of the Mondays PC Load Letter? What the F*CK does that mean? Yeah... I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months [Insert boss's name] F*CKED HER!
I was trying to hold back... but I just can't "If you could just go ahead and get that done as soon as possible, that would be greaaaaaat. Mmmkay?" "Human beings weren't meant to sit in little cubicles, starring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements." "Every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So, today is the worst day of my life." "I deal with the ******* customers so the engineers don't have to!! I have people skills!! I am good at dealing with people!!! Can't you understand that?!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!" " I'd probably, say, in a given week, I probably do about fifteen minutes of real, actual work." "My real motivation is not to be hassled. That and the fear of losing my job, but y'know, Bob, it will only make someone work hard enough not to get fired." "We always find it's better to fire people on a Friday. It's statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if we do it at the end of the week." "Good luck with your layoffs. I hope your firings go really well." "I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be."
Serious "You can't always succeed, but you can always try" Not Serious "If you can't take the heat, build a better air conditioner" "Do unto others before they have the chance to **** you over" "Kiss the (insert your job title here)!" "**** you"
One more: Never underestimate the heart of a champion. And then spray paint your basketball gold and carry it around w/ you.
