Cajun Daschunds: Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. Osama found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After five years they came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. It's cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghani dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage and slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog. Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of it's cage and charged the American Dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened it's mouth and consumed the Osama's dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of his dog. Osama came up to Bush shaking his head in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves." "Da's nothin", said Boudreaux, the Cajun, representing Bush. "We 'ad our bess plasic surgins workin' fo' five year for to make dat alligator look like a weenie dog." Holiday: Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death. Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds the answer. "You will die on an American holiday." "Which one?" Osama bin Laden asks nervously. "It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday." Banners: Osama bin Laden phoned President Bush. I had a dream about the United States, he said. I could see the whole country, and over every building and home was a banner, said Bin Laden. What was on the banner? asked Mr. Bush. "LONG LIVE OSAMA!!! answered the terrorist. I'm so glad you called, said President Bush, because I too had a dream, I saw Afghanistan and it was more beautiful than ever, totally rebuilt with many tall gleaming office buildings, large residential subdivisions with swimming pools full of men and woman. And over every building and home was a big beautiful banner. What did it say? asked Osama. "I don't know answered President Bush, I can't read Hebrew." C'mon, let's hear some more. I know everyone's got one...
