- Occupation? -Stand-up philosopher. - What? - Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human existence into a viable and meaningful comprehension. -Oh, a *bullsh!t* artist! - Hmmmmmm... - Did you bullsh!t last week? - No. - Did you try to bullsh!t last week? - Yes!
Very easy on the eyes. Looks great upconverted from the Superbit disc on my 1080p. (that's for tinman! )
"It's like having sex. It's a painstaking and arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens."
Not a comedy, but this scene always gets me: Clerk: What's the word, turd? Guy: Hey, do you also drive a boat car? Clerk: A what? Guy: You gave me a ride in a car that was also a boat. Clerk: No, man, I don't have a boat car. I don't know what you’re talking about. Man, this must be, like, parallel universe night. You know that cat that was just in here, who just ran out the door? Well, he comes up to the counter, and I say, "What's the word, turd?" And he lays down this burrito and he kind of looks at me, kind of stares at me and says, "I have but recently returned from the valley of the shadow of death. I'm rapturously breathing in all the odors and essences of life. I've been to the brink of total oblivion. I remember and ferment the desire to remember everything." Guy: So, what did you say to that? Clerk: Well, I mean, what could I say? I said, "If you’re gonna microwave that burrito, I want you to poke holes in the plastic wrapping because they explode. And I'm tired of cleaning up your little burrito doings. You dig me?" 'Cause the jalapeños dry up. They're like little wheels.
If by second one you're referring to the line "Mind you don't cut yourself, Mordecai.", that was "Raising Arizona". The delivery is what makes that line. "Ecuse me while I whip this out."
