"You people and your slight differences disgust me"

http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/6/10/114730/670

"You People And Your Slight Differences Disgust Me"

by dnA

Sun Jun 10, 2007 at 08:51:56 AM PDT

Has anyone else ever noticed that the people who should be getting along, who have the most in common with each other, actually HATE each other?

Instead of getting along, these frightfully similar groups are constantly bickering and engaging in endless conflict, when they really should just be friends.

Radical Fundamentalist Muslims and Radical Fundamentalist Christians

Look, you guys pretty much like the same things. You like your women barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen, and if they have to go outside (to do the shopping) you want them completely covered so they won't accidentally seduce some unsuspecting man who simply can't help himself. *You guys both hate the Jews. You are both in perpetual denial about how many of you are gay, even when its obvious to everyone else, and yet for some reason, you guys are always trying to destroy each other. Why? I mean, Jesus Campmade it pretty clear that fundamentalist Christians mostly hate fundamentalist Muslims out of jealousy of the success they've had in legislating their religion in countries all over the world. *I mean you guys are both into bombing, whether its buses or abortion clinics, so stop pretending like you hate each other when there's so much obvious mutual admiration.

White Americans and Black Americans

Sure, you ACT like you're all different, but the fact is you listen to the same music, eat the same crap food and have the same crap taste in movies. Neither one of you guys is willing to learn a foreign language, and six days in another country and you're asking whether they have McDonalds. *You both hate Paris Hilton, long lines, and are sick of seeing Al Sharpton on TV. *And while you wanna fake like you're all big spenders, I know you bought that **** on Ebay.

Puerto Ricans and Dominicans

You guys can't even tell each other apart without asking first.

Blacks And Jews

Jews have Klezmer, blacks have the blues. Jews have Gene Wilder, blacks have Richard Pryor. You both have diasporas. You both have Moseses (Mosesi?) and neither of you guys are welcome at country clubs. You don't vote Republican, everyone is always trying to gun down your leaders whenever they try to do something good, and let's face it, the country flips out whenever one of you thinks of running for president. And you guys are still mad at each other over what, Hymietown? Please, you guys have bigger things to worry about, like you know, Giuliani.

Democrats and Republicans (in Congress)

Oh come on. When it looks like one of you guys might get arrested for doing something blatantly illegal, you circle the wagons.My question is, how many of you guys still have bricks of cash in your freezers?

Rock Fans and Rap Fans.

Four Words: Jay-Z and Linkin Park.

America And France

Please. Like you don't both have an inflated sense of your own importance, the "superiority" of your culture, language, and national identity. Yet for some reason, you guys always wanna act like one of you is more racist, elitist, greedy or manipulative than the other. You both feel the need to force ethnic minorities into urban communities where you treat them like garbage and then pretend like you can't understand it when people get pissed. And now, you both have Right Wing tools leading your countries.

Star Trek Fans And Star Wars Fans

No one wants to have sex with you. Lazer guns aren't real. You're not going to hook up with an alien. All you have is each other.

Palestinians And Israelis

Look, everyone hates you. Even your best friends, the ones who act like they have your back, would sell you out in a second. Countries like France who are Pro-Palestinian really just hate Jews a little more than they hate Arabs. Likewise, America can't have a Jew running for president without people questioning his loyalty to Israel. The surrounding Arab countries may act like they like Palestinians, but they've left you high and dry for what, fifty years now? You guys are both so stubborn that you're fighting over this dumb five foot wide piece of land that is the only part of the Middle East with NO OIL in it for fifty years now. Given the fact that everyone hates both of you, even when they act like they're your friends, you should really start looking out for each other, because it's clear that no one else in the world is going to.

New Yorkers and New Jerseyans (Jerseyites?)

Nevermind. I give up. You guys will never get along.