Worst Things You've Ever Said to Get Out of Jury Duty

Child molestation case....

"Sir, what is your opinion of adults having sex with children?"

"Well, it's kind of like teaching elementary school without a teaching certificate".

"You're excused, sir".

True story.

 

never been because im still a student. but we talked about this in one of my political science classes. professor just said either just don't go or call out the lawyers BS tricks.

 

how is it exactly you just cant go? i thought you could be arrested or something for that?

 

Best way is to say that you don't know Enligsh well, and of course, you want to act like it too.

 

I had it once and got called up twice for criminal trials (drug possession and illegal weapons possession). I said I had a cousin who went to jail for the same offenses and almost got killed in jail (true story). Was a student at the time, so didn't have time to do it anyway. Gave the "see ya suckers" look to the other potential jurors when they dismissed me early.

 

I have been summoned at least once a year for over 30 years. I have never served on a jury. As soon as they find out I am an engineer, the lawyers don't want me.

 

I usually never even have to go to the courthouse. The one time I made it that far, they were able to select a jury plus alternates before they got to me. People shouldn't try to get out of jury duty though (the word duty should probably give that away), how would you like it if your fate rested in the hands of the twelve idiots that tried and failed to get out of jury duty?

 

FYI, it's not a matter of getting 'picked.' the title "jury selection" is actually misleading - it's actually the "jury exclusion" process.

out of the prospective pool, all things being equal, the first 12 (+ alternates) are the default jurors-to-be. with the Prosecutor/Plaintiff attorney's and Defense attorney's questions, the respective lawyers usually try to seek out potential jurors that will favor the other side b/c of their experiences. this is done by eliciting answers from jurors during the questioning process (voir dire). then each side gets a number of strikes with which they get to exclude the jurors they want to exclude. as each juror is struck, the default jury dips into the rest of the pool, which is why everyone (including the people in the back rows) usually has to stay throughout the whole process.

as an aside - you can boost your chances of getting booted by being vocal and very judgmental, basically.

 

I have never once gotten a jury summons. I find it very odd.

 

That I felt Pinkerton liability was unconstitutional to apply in a civil context - of course it was state court so I ended up looking really dumb. But I had a long vacation coming up.

 

Best way is to say that you don't know Enligsh well, and of course, you want to act like it too.

 

I like you.

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=94zkBGm1IoU

someone post this vid on here, I dont know how to do it

 

First time I got called it was for a high profile murder case about 6 years ago. They had already selected nine jurors from pools they had been calling for the previous week or two. We had to fill out a questionaire in the break room near the assemble area. With the questions regarding capital punishment, you knew what the case was going to be about. So I gave conficting answers on the questionaire. I was one of the first 10 or so dismissed from my group of 30.

I got called again about 5 months ago. It was about a guy accused of distibuting cocaine. One of the bailiffs made the point of telling us that the quiet ones get picked. I was quiet but I was also juror 60 of 60 and I didn't get picked.

 

"If you cut off his hands, he will NEVER slap her around again...that will teach him!"