This thread is for those that are married or those that have live-in girlfriends (or I guess boyfriends). How well does your parents get along with your in-laws? As mentioned in the RMTex thread on Midlife Crisis?, I had a rough week last week. I was talking to my mother and she along with my dad felt that a lot of the problems I have with my marriage is that my mother-in-law is a very controlling and manipulative person. I love my mother-in-law and I can understand where my parents would say that. But they (my parents) haven't seen the other side of her - she is a good person with a very big heart. She is just superficial on some things and has had a hard time letting go of my wife and daughter (they used to live with her and my father-in-law for 6 years since my wife was a single parent). I knew that it would take some time for her to get used to letting us live our own lives, but there are times where it seems like my wife and my mother-in-law are so entangled with each other that it may take even longer than I had hoped for the "cords to be cut" so to speak. And to make things worse, my mother pretty much accused me of abandoning her and my dad and going completly on the side of my in-laws (did I say that my mom really doesn't care much for my mother-in-law, lol?). Granted I did sorta deserve the chewing out that I got from her, but I feel like I am in such a tough spot - between the rock and the hard place. I feel that my wife is in the same spot, too. Maybe as time continues, this situation will continue to get better and my mother-in-law will allow my wife to actually be an adult instead of her teenage daughter. Anyway, anybody else have these types of problems? Are there examples where you have a parent(s) that gets along unbelievably well with one or both of your in-laws?
How much contact do your parents have with your in-laws? My parents and my wife's parents can get along, even if they don't approve of everything the other does, because they talk only once a year, maybe. It might be a little different if they lived in the same town, but I still don't think they'd be regularly in touch just because their children married each other. So, I guess no, I don't have that problem. You say your in-laws won't let your wife be an adult (do I get that right?). Do you have a similar dynamic with your own parents, since they are advising you on your marriage?
I got bad news for ya... those chords may never be cut. i tell ya.... you hear about women complaining about men being a "mama's boy".... but I've NEVER seen a man be a mama's boy as bad as some women are with their mothers. My parents live in San Marcos (2.5 hours away). My in-laws live in Tomball (30 min. away). My wife doesn't get along with my mom and as a result, she strongly resists going up to San Marcos. In fact, we haven't been up there together in over a year (I went up there alone one time to help them with some work). I don't have an answer.
Well my parents live in a different city from me and my wife and the in-laws but it is in the same county. They'll interact from time to time when there are events concerning our daughter (since all 4 of them are her grandparents). My father even went so far to try to go out of his way and keep himself updated on things that happened in my in-laws lives. That type of thinking didn't last long as I think he (my dad) felt that it wasn't really worth it. Both my wife and me are the babies of our families. My sister and my brother-in-law (my wife's brother) were absolute holy terrors to raise (my brother-in-law especially). I know that my parents had gotten to a point where they thought I would never get married. And as for my wife, well she has been through a lot of ****. I know that I probably delve too much but trust me, I won't go into detail on all the things she has been through. Let's just say that she had to live with her parents for 6 years after having our daughter and I think that has made things really hard for us. Plus some of it is just a matter of different personalities - some that really don't work well with others (talking about my parents and in-laws). It may get to that someday, but right now it has been hard. Mainly due to the fact that my wife runs a business along with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Sometimes, I think that business' sole purpose of existing is that my mother-in-law can continue to play a bigger part than normal of being in our lives. My wife will get frustrated with this from time to time and has even hinted about moving away so we wouldn't have to deal with this. Yet, this type of thinking never lasts. I guess I am not really looking for solutions because I think the solution is what bnb said. I am just wondering if anyone else here (other than it seems to be Wangdoodle) has similar type problems. Also thought it would be interesting to hear someone say that their mother and mother-in-law are like the bestest of friends, LOL.
