Last night I dropped my cell phone in a urinal. Any advice?

Nuthin a little spit can't solve.

 

Did you c*m on it too? It's kind of hard to imagine you being on a date??

 

The dog never seems to mind..

 

piss wont hurt you

 

I just got torched!!! OUCH!!!!

 

Drop in a sink of bleach-water for a second or two. If it still works when you pull it out, your problem will be solved.

 

At least your pecker didn't fall in the urinal.

Then this would be interesting.

I recently wondered what I would do, if my phone fell in the toilet and landed on a log. Then I thought to myself, "naaaaah... It'll never happen... I'm a real man".

 

True Story:

I'm on a big fire and one of our Operations guys (the people who actually fight the fire) is getting trained up for a higher position. We're all reveling in this because he's usually really cocky and the training assignment is just beating him up. He looks more harried each day as he tries to figure out what needs attention and what doesn't and what info he needs to keep track of and what he can let go.

So, one morning we're walking to breakfast and he's rinsing his radio

(one of these babies... cost about $800...

)

in the sink by the mess tent. We, of course, ask him what he's doing because this is not normal behavior. He says he dropped it in a puddle and got mud on it. We're immediately suspicious since we're fighting a fire in an area that hasn't seen rain in weeks and he is extremely nervous. Nonetheless, we play along and remind him that the Communications Unit can repair radios. So he goes over there and talks to a young gal who is the radio tech. He explains what happened and she says, "Oh, yes, I can fix that." So, she starts to take it apart and in the course of working on it she puts a small piece in her mouth to hold it. Whereupon our guy freaks out, knocks the piece out her mouth, and starts the confession:

He had gone to take a dump in a port-a-potty that everyone uses and somehow managed to drop his radio in. He pulled out his Leatherman and was able to bend down and pick up the radio without getting his hand too wet. He was trying to clean the crap off when we saw him at the sink.

The radio tech, upon hearing this, immediately started gagging and ran to a sink to wash her mouth out. He ran after her apologizing profusely.

We had great fun with him for the rest of the fire, even getting the Food Unit Leader to come by a day later and throw him a line about a rash of E.Coli poisionings that the health inspector thinks came from a contaminated hand washing area.

The guy's nickname is now and will forever be "Dick," as in Nixon, because it's not the crime, but the coverup that will get you.

 

Classic!!

 

You know when I wash my hand? When I sh*t on them! And that only happens two . . . three times a week, tops.

 

What kind of dog is that?

Seriously... He is marked like my cat.

 

The ebay idea is just wrong...

 

Don't use your phone while pissing would be my advice.

 

Totally off-topic, but I'm impressed with your mastery of em-dashes, along with a correct usage of parentheses. You had me until . . . the lazy ellipses.

The things you learn editing a law journal. Shoot me now.