Darwin Award of the week...

hotballa · Mar 19, 2007

For the non geeks out there, Richard Garriott is known as Lord British, the guy who created Ultima.

http://www.kvue.com/news/top/stories/031707kvueburglary-bkm.1d01d4c0.html

Digital camera left at scene of crime

07:18 PM CDT on Sunday, March 18, 2007

By KEVIN PETERS/KVUE News

Most people take pictures to mark a memorable occasion: graduations, holiday parties, special events … but a burglary? Travis County detectives have found some unusual evidence at a crime scene that they want the public to see.

What looks like scenes from a typical high school or college party, investigators say is actually photos from a crime scene.

Last month, at least nine people broke into private property at the end of Coldwater Canyon, near 360 and 2222. Police say pictures documented a party and crime in which $5,000 worth of expensive alcohol, including $800 bottles of wine and high-dollar scotch, were stolen.

Travis Co. Sheriff's Office

Pictures found on a digital camera left behind at the scene of a burglary

But what the group left behind at the party left quite an impression.

“During the investigation, we found a digital camera that didn't belong to the victim,” said Roger Wade, with the Travis County Sheriff’s Office.

On that camera, investigators found a clear picture of their suspects. Now, they need help in identifying who they are.

Legendary game designer Richard Garriott actually owns the property. He says it’s made up of a series of cabins and other buildings for special events.

“We were debating whether we would even report this to police until we discovered the digital camera sitting on the porch of one of the cabins broken into,” he said.

As Garriott looked through the pictures, they were even better than he could have hoped.

“We we're joking to ourselves about tomorrow morning, when they wake up with a hangover, they're going to wonder where that camera is,” he said. “This is one of those Darwin-style kind of awards, where people leave the self-incriminating evidence behind at the scene.”

This is the second break-in on Garriott’s property in two years. Now, he just wants people to leave his property alone.

“We have now stepped up and realize that we have to have electronic security and surveillance equipment around the site just to insure people don't come onto it in the future,” he said.

Travis County investigators say this ranks pretty high on their list of dumb criminals, nearly on par with leaving a wallet or driver’s license on the scene.

If you can identify any of the people in the pictures, call Crimestoppers at 472-TIPS. You can receive a reward of up to $1,000.
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bladeage · Mar 19, 2007

lmfao

halfbreed · Mar 19, 2007

Don't you have to die to be eligible for a Darwin Award?

Brando2101 · Mar 19, 2007

halfbreed said:

Don't you have to die to be eligible for a Darwin Award?
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Yea you do or lose your reproductive organs. http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-10.html

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other then to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.

After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling, stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard.

We x-rayed the patients scrotum to locate the staples; admitting him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, a broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.

The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present. Through-and through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less then a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me.

An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.

I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

By Dr. William A. Morton, Jr. MD, a retired urologist residing in West Chester, Pennsylvania.
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AstroRocket · Mar 19, 2007

Brando2101 said:

Yea you do or lose your reproductive organs. http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-10.html
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good lord, that is the most painful thing I've ever read in my entire life.

swilkins · Mar 20, 2007

That's funny. I thought it was planted, until the actual photos were there.

DaDakota · Mar 20, 2007

Garriot is a good friend of mine, he is a bit of a freak and gets FAR FAR FAR too much credit for his role in Ultima online, but....still a good guy.

DD

SwoLy-D · Mar 20, 2007

DaDakota said:

Garriot is a good friend of mine, he is a bit of a freak and gets FAR FAR FAR too much credit for his role in Ultima online, but....still a good guy.

DD
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Does he also leave tainted food outside his house for stray cats?

I keed, man... I KEED.

hotballa · Mar 20, 2007

DaDakota said:

Garriot is a good friend of mine, he is a bit of a freak and gets FAR FAR FAR too much credit for his role in Ultima online, but....still a good guy.

DD
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ok the fanboy in me just squealed. you really really know Lord British? he's got a castle in texas or something right?

i dont care about Ultima online BTW. I played Ultima 1-6 back in the day. Ultima 7 and thereon got too complicated for me

OldManBernie · Mar 20, 2007

DaDakota said:

Garriot is a good friend of mine, he is a bit of a freak and gets FAR FAR FAR too much credit for his role in Ultima online, but....still a good guy.

DD
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Forget Ultima Online, Ultima 4, 5 and 6 completely changed the face of RPGs. If you are to say that he got too much credit for those games, I'd love to hear your story.

hotballa · Mar 20, 2007

yeah I still remember the diesel glass sword in Ultima 6 thatbroke after the first hit.

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