This thread is gonna be the thread where you can come in and talk about anything disgustingly awesome or awesomely bad that happened in the bathroom to you in recent times. Tell us about your latest and greatest poop. I just had one. That's kind of why I created this thread. Tell us about the guy in the stall next to you that was making all the noises as he got the Browns to the Superbowl (if you get my drift). Tell us about that one time, when you went to drop the Cosby's off at the pool, and Bill executed the perfect high dive (if you know what I mean...again). Anyways, I wanna hear some toilet humor. About the brown bag special I just dished out: After producing one that seemed pretty big, I checked in, to see that it was one of those where Bill had the perfect jump from the high dive (this is something I think I made up that refers to what happens when you go to drop the Cosby's off [poop], and you lay a huge turd, only to find out that it's nowhere to be found). Anyways, The Cosby's, I guess were in perfect form today, and I thought it was time to leave the "pool." Just as I go to wipe, this HUGE, painful rocket squirts right out of me. Out of curiosity, I checked in to see if it was a monkey that just leapt from me, or if it was seriously a monster poo. Sure, enough, the thing was like the size of a bottle of body spray (I had a can of Old Spice body spray in the bathroom, and compared sizes), and had a nut or two in it. One of those that you just wanna take a picture of and hang it on your wall. The bad thing is that it hurts to sit now.
The best thing I saw was when someone capped a made over on top of another with a flag made of a TOOTHPICK and paper...It surpassed the top rim and it was magnificient.
last time i diarrheaed, there were swirls of cabbage decorating the blackened soup-like mixture whose pungent odor wafted b/t my legs.
I clogged up my girlfriends toilet this weekend. She doesn't know about it yet. I took a dump on Saturday morning. It wasn't really that bad, but it was really hard and compact. So, when I flushed it, it went down (along with the toilet paper), but I think it's sort of stuck in the pipe because now the toilet sort of flushes, but the water doesn't go all the way down. I haven't used it since. Luckily, no one else uses it besides me. So my plan is to sneak a plunger into the house next time I'm at her place and fix it without her ever knowing there was a problem. I'm meeting her at her place Wednesday night but she won't be there until 9 so she gave me the key. This is the PERFECT time to put my plan into action!
A friend of mine has the audacity to check people's shoes inside closed toilet stalls when he goes into the restroom. Once, I decided to play a trick on him with extra caution... timing it just right. I went into the restroom... went into a toilet seat stall... waited for him to open the door... I left the door to my stall halfway cracked, and put both my feet up on the bowl while I held on pushing to the walls with my hands. I waited until he came over to check to see that no one was in that stall, and it happened to be the first... I jumped out and screamed "WA!!!!!!" to him. Needless to say, he was going to take a long dump... and I scared the SH*T out of him. LITERALLY. He went home.
My most memorable was when my turb circled the entire outer portion of the bowl, without interruption. It was the perfect turd. I don't recall flushing, because I was very proud of it. I wish I had a cell phone with a camera on me at the time.
My college roommate claimed he stuck is foot in the bowl to comare the size of the turd to his size 14 foot. I believed him.
The most memorable time was when I was living in Texas and we decided to go eat at Pancho's before going to Trader's Village. Let me tell you, those two did not mix. When I say I filled the industrial-sized toilet with green poo, I mean, I filled it! I think that was my first ever triple courtesy flush.
A college buddy and I used to sit in adjacent stalls... He'd say, "Hey, you 'shootin' a j?" (because often it looks like a lower case "j" in the bowl) If the answer was "no" I'd say, "Nope. You have to be wide open to get a good look before you can let a 'j' go." He'd reply, "Must've been that lunch... I'm droppin' pellets... like a semi-colon or something." To which I'd retort, "You got somethin' out of your colon, that's for sure... care to be good a Flusher, like Mr. Curtis Edward? (Curtis E. Flusher)" The convo would pick up every now and then with different hall mates, but usually just us two weird potty humor poets.
