Man finds human penis in bottle of fruit punch Police don't know if crime is involved By Tillie Fong, News Staff Writer COMMERCE CITY -- Police say a man found a penis Thursday in a bottled drink he purchased at a grocery store. "For us, it's a mystery," said Elaine Rowe, spokeswoman for Commerce City police. "We don't know if there is a crime involved. This could be a fraud, mutilation or attempted homicide." Thursday morning, Juan Sanchez-Marchez, 41, a machine operator at Foothills Mail and Supply, was at work, taking his usual sips from a 20-ounce bottle of Ora Potency Fruit Punch. After he had downed about two-thirds of the bottle, he found something in the opaque red drink. He called over his 16-year-old son, Manuel, who also works at the shop. His boss told him that it looked like a penis and to report it to the police. A pathologist with the Adams County coroner's office determined it was a 3-inch segment of human penis. It was cleanly cut at the base. Authorities do not know whether the body part came from an adult or juvenile, or whether it had been taken from a cadaver or a living person. A DNA test will be conducted on the penis, in case it may be related to an ongoing Adams County investigation where various body parts, including a head and part of a leg, have been found but not identified. ...click me for more
The worst part about it is he drank two-thirds of the drink. I suppose he is going to go home and kiss the wife now? Put that man in an isolation chamber and treat him with Listerine for at least a year. That's disgusting. I bet he's still brushing his teeth. If he wasn't gay before, then he's gay now . Surf
hey what a great marketing idea! We can call it Penis Juice! It'll take off, just like the Tequilla worm!
Bäh! That´s disgusting. I´ve heard of someone who had gottn pimples in his face after ordering at a pizza taxi. It was diagnosed as syphilis. You know what the cook did with the pizza.... Bah.
Have you guys ever put stuff in people's drinks? I've participated in some pranks at the Jester cafeteria. One time, we put tabasco in a guy's orange juice. He drank it till it was almost done when he put it down. He got up and yelled "**** You!" then sat back down to wipe his mouth. We couldn't stop laughing. Then a couple of weeks later we put salt in some dude's milk. He said "Damn these fries are salty." He kept drinking the milk to wash away the salt!!! We finally broke down and had to tell him. I've had the occassional salt/pepper in my drinks. Everytime I got up I used to come back with a new drink cause I trusted no one. We all had a good time with it though. Nothing dangerous. It was good times and I miss it No body parts though!
This chick I used to wait tables with carried a bottle of Visine with her in her apron. Whenever customers were rude to her, she'd put a few drops in their refills. She said it'd give diarrhea. I figured even if that was true, the Visine would be too diluted to do anything. Anybody know if that would work?
One time while I worked at Pappasito's before we opened we were setting up the restaurant. We had a cappucino machine and this one manager in particular just loved to have an iced cappucino in the morning. I'd watch him day in and day out make those things and drink them like he was in Vahalla or something. So one day I see him make one, but then he gets called away. I quickly go over and pour about a half of a salt shaker of salt into the drink. I had a few seconds to stir it, before he came back. What followed was like something out of a movie or something. He came back and picked it up, but then someone else asked him to do something so he had to put it back down. I went over and stirred it some more. He did this about three or four more times, and the suspense was agonizing. He finally scooped up his icy heaven and went into the kitchen to get some peace and quiet. I quietly followed him acting like I was cleaning. He finished ording some cooks to do something then took a deep breath in order to get a real big gulp of his drink. Oh man, it was hard not to laugh. I got to watch the whole thing, from him gulping it down, to the first second he realized how salty it was, to him spitting it out, then to him turning red and running out of the kitchen looking for the culprit. Oh, it was classic. ----------------------------- Another time (at another restaurant), there was some left over birthday cake that the guests had given to us to eat. Well, I was on a diet, and getting irritated at having to watch all these waiters devour it like animals. So, there was one big piece left. I got the idea to put A-1 steak sauce in the middle of the two layers. It was a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and the A-1 matched it perfectly for color and consistency. I got two people with that one. ---------------------------- Stories about when I worked at Showbiz Pizza (when it was Showbiz) A guy I knew peed in two large supreme pizzas when a family came in the restaurant at 9:58pm (we closed at 10:00pm). We had cleaned the entire kitchen and were ready to do. After the dude ordered, we had to get just about every pieced of equipment dirty against just for those to damn pizzas. Anyways, this guy pees in them, cooks them up, and the people ate 'em up like they were going out of style --------------------------- Rumor was (he told me) same guy came in another pizza. This time it was an employee pizza for this girl who was very annoying. She ate it too.
True story as told to me by a buddy. I believe him 100%. My friend worked at a McDonald's in a mall up in Dallas. He was on duty with his friend and one assistant manager; they were the only ones there. One night this woman came up and asked for a Big Mac. Problem is, they closed at 9:30pm and it was about 9:29 and 57 seconds. The kitchen had already been cleaned and they were ready to go home. They informed her of this and she got all rude and insisted she be served as technically they were still open for business. Apparently, she was a real b**** about it. So my buddy and his buddy proceed to fire up the grill again and go through all the motions to fix this lady a Big Mac when they got the bright idea to piss all over her patties. After pissing on her patties, they thought "Ohh....we might get in big trouble for this," but instead of frying up two new patties and passing up on such an opportunity, they just dumped a bunch of salt and every other seasoning and condiment they had onto the patties, slapped them on a bun and served them up. Hiding in a strategic location, they proceeded to watch this woman takes a couple of big bites from her burger. The first bite resulted with her making a nasty face, the second was more of a 'test' bite. She then took her tray of food up to the manager, saying her burger "tasted funny." The manager then took a bite for himself. By now, my friend and his friend were trying really hard not to laugh and look all innocent. "What's wrong with her Big Mac?" they asked the manager (who they didn't like either). "She said it tasted funny," was his reply, "but it tastes okay to me!" Moral of the Story: Don't EVER piss off the people who get your food before you do.
Used to be Passive-Agressive personality disorder but they pulled that out of the DSM-IV. I don't know what they call it now.
It took me a while, but... Man finds human penis in bottle of fruit punch WTF?!? Re-read the story. Everyone seems so calm. THERE IS A PENIS IN THE FRUIT PUNCH!!! The boss tells Juan to go to the police. How about telling Juan to go to the hospital to get his stomach pumped first? This sounds like a sick prank gone bad.
I think those of you who have friends who've done stuff like piss in burgers should go slap them...or at the very least, stop being friends with them. If I had a friend that did something disgusting like that...all because they were pissed off that they had such a crappy job, they wouldn't be my friends anymore. People who do stuff like that are sub-human. They should be fed feces and tied down to a tree for the rest of their lives.
That's what I'm thinking. Juan doesn't seem the least bit worried he just drank 1 year old cut off penis juice.
It's NOT a penis! 'Penis' found floating in bottle was mold, cops say By TILLIE FONG Scripps Howard News Service October 04, 2001 - An object found in a fruit drink last week is not a human penis, as previously believed, but mold or bacteria, Commerce City, Colo., police now say. "We worked off the best information we had," said Elaine Rowe, police spokeswoman. "We didn't have any clue that it could be anything else. It's very strange. I've never seen anything like this in law enforcement." Last Thursday machinist Juan Sanchez-Marchez, 41, found what appeared to be a 3-inch section of a human penis in his 20-ounce Ora Potency Fruit Punch after he had downed two-thirds of the drink. He turned it over to Commerce City police, who sent it to the Adams County (Colo.) Coroner's Office, which determined it was part of a human penis. The police issued a press release Friday, and the drink was taken off grocery-store shelves. Rowe said Wednesday the pathologist from the coroner's office didn't do a tissue sample but only an external examination of the object before identifying it as a penis. Rowe said she could see how the pathologist could come to that conclusion. "If you saw it, you would have believed it," she said. The determination that it was mold or bacteria was made Wednesday. In the meantime, when the Denver distributor of the drink, Vancol, went through the bottles from the recall, workers made a disturbing discovery. "They found a second bottle with a round, cylindrical object inside," said Rowe. Vancol notified the Food and Drug Administration Tuesday, which in turn, notified Commerce City police. Investigators took the second bottle and its contents and sent it to the coroner's office for examination. "The assumption is that it is the same thing that was in the first bottle, so it was sent off to the FDA for a more thorough test," Rowe said. Samples of the object found in the first bottle were also sent to the FDA for additional analysis. ========================= What if it's a piece of molded fruit... it is fruit punch after all...
