would any of you ever consider or have you ever dated one of your ex's (or is it exs' or exes)? did it work out for you if you did? i'm thinking about doing it. we started dating and stayed together from 99-01. great relationship, but the weirdest phocking schit happened ("weirdest phocking schit" is an understatement) and this person had to go away for a while. up until a week ago, i hadn't seen this person in three years (2003). i was pumping gas at the station after having a few drinks with friends and i hear someone call out my name. aparently this person has moved to houston now (this person used to live in beaumont when i was going to school there). i mean, this person is like family to me. speaking of family, this person's family is great. i used to chill with the mother and have endless conversations with her while smoking cigarettes in their garage. i used to go grocery shopping with this person's dad and help him pick up pecans from the trees in his backyard... (interruption. just the mere mention of "backyard" makes me think of Spoiler "shaq in your backyard... maybe not." ) sorry... back to the story. i love this person's family and they like me. apparently they asked about me recently. i admit to loving this person unlike any other in the past and also admit to there maybe something still being there. after exchanging numbers at the gas station a week ago, we finally met for dinner last night (some vietnamese restraunt and some good arse soup called "pho" or something like that). Most of the talk was just catching up and laughing at ourselves and the mistakes we made. after dinner we watched a dvd... deuce bigalo 2 (we were both crying/laughing at the chick with the hole in her throat and also the famous "that's a huge b****" line). we then caught up and talked some more. when moving to houston, this person tried to track me down with no success and thought that i had been in some sort of "accident". we both really don't know what to do with each other. we both aren't sure if we can stay "just friends" with each other considering how much we went through in just the two years that we were in a relationship. we have way too much in common and we know each other like the back of our hands. we just make a lot of sense together, but at the same time... i'm not sure if i should keep this person as a friend and not dwell on the past or get back together. we're both off today and i'm thinking about calling to see if this person wants to go catch a movie or something. anyway... the dating scene sucks and it's more of a chore than anything else. i'd rather skip the difficult part and catch on where i left we left off. ok... what are your experiences doing the "dating your ex" thing? if you haven't done it, is there an ex that you would consider dating? why or why not?
I'd say that 99% of the time, getting back together with someone you split with is a bad idea. There are reasons it didn't work out, you know? Most people don't change that much, they just get older. On the other hand, you should go for it. If this person just moved away and you guys had to split because of that, why not go for it? You only live once and can always break up again. It sounds like you're pretty compatable.
thx for the support... i think. you said that "most people don't change that much, they just get older"... the thing is is that i was 19 when we started off. i'm 27 now. we're both older, more mature, more experienced, and we both know what we want. the circumstances of the breakup were extremely abnormal and out of our control.
I have no idea if it's a good idea getting back together, but I do know from experience, that it will be the best sex you've ever had in your life. So go for it.
you can try and remember all the good times and romanticize about it til the day is done, but when those bad memories starts flooding in, you'll have your answer.
I've never done it, but I would consider it. It depends on the ex in question, what circumstances it ended on, etc. Some of my exes I would try it with...others I wouldn't even consider it.
I've had on again off again relationships with a couple of women and in general it has been OK. I was dating someone for a few years we broke up for a year and then got back together and dated a few years again and then broke up again. We still remain friends but aren't very close. I also dated someone years before who looked me up and we dated long distance for awhile but didn't work since neither wanted to move. Its true that a lot of the problems are the same from the first time around and you're older but you're also more mature to. Every situation is different so I can't advise you either way. It sounds like both of you want to get back together but if you do so don't come in with expectation that that all your previous problems will be gone or that things will be exactly the same. I would say take it slow and approach it as a new relationship, especially since a lot of time has passed since the last time you dated each other.
All depends on why you broke up in the first place. If it was a distance issue then it's worth pursuing again. If it was a trust issue than it might be sticky. If it was lack of sexual experience, hopefully you've gained in that department .
If your last break up is a the result of external circumstances and not a result of problems with your relationship, I really can't think of a reason why you shouldn't get back together--unless, of course, those external circumstances can come back again. The only other thing to consider is how honest you are with yourself with regards to how "external" these circumstances were. I've broken up with girls that moved away to a different city and just sort blamed it on the "long distance thing." But the truth is, sometimes both of us were relieved that she was moving away because we sensed the relationship going south anyway. And if I had been with the love of my life, I'm sure I would've worked my ass off to make a long distance relationship work. I'm not blaming you for not fighting harder for the relationship. I don't know what those circumstances are so what I say can totally not apply.
I've never gotten back together with a ex.... well except for the few times I went for some ex-sex. that works just fine as long as they understand it means nothing as far as relationships go.
since folks are bringing up the circumstances of the breakup... probably only castor27 would know what happened since he lives in the beaumont/golden triangle area. i deleted this part of my post earlier because i didn't want to get too many of the "don't do it" responses. sigh... this person was in the news in beaumont and got involved in something to where this person had to "go away for a while" (yeah... prison). fbi involvment. nothing to do with hurting anybody... no drugs, no murder... nothing to make a level-headed person frown upon this person. castor, i'm sure you watch beaumont news since you're from the area. this was back from '99 to '01. closed-minded phocking beaumont. it's no wonder why folks leave once they graduate instead of building the city up. an upscale vidor is all it is. trust isn't an issue between us. i have a very small circle a friends simply because i really don't trust that many people (paranoid schitzo after the whole leaving atlanta crap). this person is one of two people that i do trust besides my family of course. my life stable right now and things are going fine for me. i won't let anyone screw it up and i know for a fact that this person isn't the type that would consider doing that to me. beyond ridiculous. we just clicked somehow or another in the past. it's just that i can't see how things could go wrong with the both of us being more mature... and we really didn't argue before the whole "prison" thing.
I dated a woman for about a year in 1998/99 and we kind of drifted apart. In 2001, we reconnected and by 2002, we were dating each other pretty much exclusively. In March of this year, we got married. So, I guess it can work. I mean, we didn't split up because of prison or anything, but still....
I did it once BIG MISTAKE i'm now a Relationship shark Always going forward. . . NEVER BACKWARDS!! but forreal it depends. . If you broke up because of stuff happened between you NO! and HELL NAW!! but If you broke up because an opening came into the ground and they were on one side and you on the other. . . well that is different Rocket RIver
