Good luck Manny. Hopefully this is a lesson to anyone who wants to rush into marriage. I honestly feel you need to be with someone for at minimum 2 years before you marry them to truely get to know them. If it is meant to be, then why rush it? It will happen. Good luck manny. Once you get out of this mess you will probably look back on it a laugh and say "what was I thinking".
Real sorry about this, Manny. I've never met you in person, but you seem like a real stand-up guy. Wish there was something I could say to help you besides good luck.
Good luck and I hope it doesn't come to this...But if it does, I would recommend you take his advice...I had an ugly divorce and what he says is true...Sometimes, we want to be the good guy and think the woman I loved would never do anything bad to me and it ends up fkn us in the end...
Oh you want to hear a good one?? She told me one day last week that she was glad that we got married after 2 months of dating because if we had dated longer, I probably would have found some things out about her that I wouldn't have liked and broken up with her.
I have one for you. After being separated, my ex and I tried to make it work one last time, so I moved back in. She was super nice for the next week. I was still stand offish. She eventually asked me how much longer I was going to be like this because she didn't know how long she could continue to "act" as nice as she had been acting. That's about the time I knew it was totally over.
To hard to vote on this because more often than not, there is a child involved. That's women's way of trapping a man..
That blows. That would make me feel like I somehow got a lemon in the deal. Save that one to tell the counselor for sure. It sounds like by seeing the attorney and protecting yourself that you are being careful and smart. I'm sure that must be hard to do in times of extreme emotional turmoil like this. But it is smart. I hope whatever the outcome that you aren't too hard on yourself, and whatever decision you make that it is one that is the best for you. Just no that getting a divorce doesn't make you a bad person. Neither does finding a way to work it out of course. Anyway good luck, and it sounds like you are being smart about this. I know that doesn't make it any less painful. But either way the pain will change. You will either get over the pain(though it might get worse first) or it will get better. Either way there will be a change, and it will be better for you.
Manny, I'm so sad to hear about your situation. It kind of sounds like my parents. My mom married my stepdad, whom she had known for 5 months, and on their honeymoon he told her that his mother had had a nervous breakdown when he was a kid and that he still had a lot of insecurities about it. That ended up being a gross understatement, because he has never stopped talking about his miserable childhood since then, and goes on various rage tangents and then blames it on his stepfather. She's considered divorce many times, and got a separation this summer, but they have been going to a Christian counselor and are actually closer than ever. So I guess if BOTH people are willing to work on their individual attitudes, counseling can help. If your wife is totally against getting help or won't cooperate, who knows. I'll continue to pray for you and your situation. I have all the hope in the world it will somehow work out.
Manny, without making a comment on the overall situation, I want to give you some advice. If it comes to a breakup of some sort... a trial seperation, or whatever, get all your photographs, all of them, and put them somewhere that she cannot get to and destroy in a fit of rage/anger. One of my best friends, years ago, broke up with a longtime girlfriend. Without saying a word to him, she took a lifetime's worth of photographs, slides, and negatives, and tossed them all into a dumpster. Gone forever. This was before digital photography. This act was very painful for me, as well, because I was in a bunch of them, along with many of my other friends, and my cousin, who was also my best friend, and had been killed in an auto accident the year before. Just an FYI. Of course, I hope things between you get straightened out.
Well last night was another struggle. My wife is on her period but the way she was acting last night...I'm sorry but being on your period is not a good excuse. She was throwing things and *accidentally* hit her daughter in the face. She apologized to her and said it would never happen again. I basically stayed away from her until I felt she had cooled off. Found out later that I shouldn't have done that - that I was supposed to plant a big kiss on her cheek. I tried to go to sleep around 9:30 last night and it was well after midnight before I could think about getting some sleep. My wife went on and on about how much she hates her life and that she felt she had no control over the things that have happened to her and that she is basically one "screwed up puppy". I didn't really know what to do or say but I ask myself, "Is my life really needing that type of drama in it?" I sorta suspected for some time that she had some emotional problems but I felt she was doing better. Boy was I wrong about that. But now I am beginning to think that she is borderline crazy/psycho. I still plan on talking to her this Friday about counseling but I think at lunch I am going to get my suitcase and put some extra clothes in it, just in case. Oh and the CDs that mean the most to me - they have already been boxed and are at my work desk. No way in hell is this woman going to destroy something of mine that means a lot to me. So here I sit - wondering what good even talking about counseling will do. I still plan on seeing my lawyer this afternoon and almost wonder if I should just go ahead and file, but I am not going to do that. The things I worry about other than my wife going off the deep end is the legal fees and realtor fees (I would sell the house but I have no idea if I would get enough to pay off the loan). I have almost resigned myself to get another credit card and use it to get through all this ****. I know that some other people here have gone through hell - be glad that you have already done your time. Looks like I am getting ready to start my sentence.
manny you will feel so much better when you are out of this relationship, plan for the worse, protect yourself and your investments because counseling won't help the issues your wife has.
Manny, Has she seen a medical Doctor. I know 2 women that had similar issues and they found out it was hormonal. The doctor put them on some hormone supplements and it completely changed their behavior/attitude. I'm not saying that this is the problem, but from the above paragraph it sounds eerily familiar.
Yep. Same exact thing that my brother went through. And the medication helped his ex-wife. But she eventually decided that she shouldn't take it for some reason. But anyway, have your wife see a doctor.
