I eluded to this in the "Divorce" thread of pradaxpimp's. If you are married and unhappy, do you think it is better to remain married and be unhappy or get a divorce?
Oh and I can't decide what option to vote for. Some days, I would vote for option #1, while other days I would vote for option #2. Hmm, maybe I should just go ahead and vote for option #3!
Voted option 3. Circumstances are different in every marriage, with a very important variable being children.
I'm in the 'Marriage is forever' camp. I'm sure you told yourself this, but you should have been absolutely sure that it was going to work. If you don't get along for a good while before tieing the knot, then don't do it. But hell, if it's really not working out, and there AREN'T kids involved, just get out. People make mistakes. Go the band-aid route, too. If she's being ticky-tacky with stuff, just leave it. It's only stuff, and can be replaced. Good luck.
I think the poll is flawed because every situation is different. Just too many variables. I'd say, if there are no kids involved, go ahead and get a divorce. But with that being said....you shouldn't get a divorce at the first sign of rough waters. At some point, the honeymoon has to end and real life starts. Just because it's not easy doesn't mean you should quit. Manny, if this is about your case, well....I still wouldn't know what to tell you because I don't really know you. Just please don't have kids until you figure out what you want to do. I'm sure you already know that though.
Both my wife and I came from divorced parents. We've had our rough stretches, but we worked through them and come out on the other side stronger. If you can't handle the bumps, don't take the ride.
I think you should get it back to where you are happily married with your original partner. It's really not that hard to commit to something and learn how to better love something that you once loved a lot. Get over your own self and learn how to work things out.
I think you need to have your wife read this book. It is supposed to work wonders for marriage, I think I saw it on Dr. Phil.
It's simple...You either stay married un-happily ever after, or you don't... I've been divorced for about a year and half and yes, its different than being a family unit, but I love my life now...I guess I've always been a little selfish and I enjoy my time to myself and going out, but there are times I miss the family life... I chose to be happy and I don't regret it..Every situation is different, but why waste your life being un-happpy...Life is too short...I know you don't want to be alone and you like having someone there, but is it the person you will miss or the companionship... Granted, money issues are in every relationship, but its how you communicate it...Don't make it a turf battle, just make sure she thinks she's right...I'll tell everyone to do anything and everything to make it work, but if that dog don't hunt, kill it...
that would be funny if it was funny situation but i agree and want to add that you have to be absolutely sure that it is the partnership and not either of you individually that is causing the unhappiness. a few couples who are close friends of mine have decided on divorce. from what i hear from all concerned they have made the decision that was best for them. one situation involves children. it is terrible for the children, no doubt, but they'll be alright because their parents are awesome and will make sure of it. the other situation has reached the point of no return because she wants children and he doesn't. you have to be happy manny. you have to be happy in order to make other people happy. the only place you will find the answer is in your heart.
As others have mentioned, every situation is different. My parents divorced when I was around 12. Both are now happily remarried and have been remarried for close to as long as they were married to each other. Around the time of divorce, it didn't really even bother me because they fought so much it really only caused discourse throughout the house. I think there are many very viable situations, even involving children, where divorce is the best option...especially if the two people are adult enough to put their differences aside after the divorce and remain cordial.
One of my uncles told my aunt on the first night that hey, this marriage thing is a contract between us, not a shackle, so if you're not happy, or if I'm not happy, it's over ... we're not going to waste our lives being unhappy, we only have this one shot at life. So, that is my philosophy, but of course, I'm hoping a situation like that never arises. It's depressing to read, especially since I'm just a little over 6 weeks from getting married myself, and am trying to think happy thoughts
DIVORCE: "So you made a mistake... problem solved!" Is there a "statistic" that says how children from divorced parents will remain in their marriages? I bet it's a high percentage. It's MORONIC to get married when you didn't know what it meant. I like how ya'll just take marriage as a frickin' game. Thanks a lot for taking the easy way out, you quitters. I am in agreement with Xerobull and I wanted to say most of what he said and with 3814.
I think that first you try to make it work. But if you are both miserable then it is better to end it. Why stay unhappy the rest of your life?
Why is this even a debate? Life is too short to even consider an option called "stay unhappy" I don't understand where the "you made your bed and now you have to lie in it cause you knew what you were getting into" crew gets off - let the man live his own life, whether his marriage succeeds or fails, it won't impact you guys any.
It depends on if it is something you can work on. If you have different philosophical differences that you discovered after marriage like choosing to have children or not, then you should get a divorce. Infidelity is also a good reason. However, if it is just behavioral like drinking too much, being cheap, being messy, mid-life crisis. In those cases, you should stick it out and work on your marriage.
