burned.

You should consider viewing women as friends you occasionally have sex with. Used to work for me. Of course, that was a bazillion years ago. No offense, but there is no reason to be afraid of them. They're just people, with certain differences, to be sure, but still human beings, like yourself. What's the worst thing that can happen when you allow yourself to have a relationship? One of you decides it's not working. The consequences? You move on. You should move on, and have more relationships with women. Eventually, you'll wonder why they ever made you nervous.

 

Sorry man.. everyone goes through this and I mean everyone

Just try to do stuff to get your mind off of it and I promise that you'll feel better as time goes on. And the suckiest part is that most people will give you the same advice but it's almost impossible to follow it because many times we just let ourselves fall apart but seriously try not to make that mistake because most people do and its one of the worst feelings one can have. Just hang out with your friends, and meet some new people. Just take comfort in the fact that we all went through this and that you're not alone. Cheer up, things will work themselves out.

Plus on another note, it's almost better that you didn't make a move. There's no reason to believe that if you did something, she wouldve thought differently. If anything you would've had a ****ty breakup and no one wants that.
As for Deckard's suggestion, that only works for certain people. Really depends on the kind of person you are.

 

I was just explaining to my guy friend a week ago how he should let girls in more, because he, like you is nice-looking but rarely dates because he has trouble trusting people. So, he trusted this pretty girl he sort of liked and, well, let's just say, it all blew up in his face big time. She got his hopes up, lead him on, and then crushed him miserably.

Look, 95% of girls are absolute b****es. They don't know what they want, constantly complain about every single little thing in their relationship, **** things up for their boyfriend, play mind games, and consequently try to ruin your life.

Don't get with girls for sex. God, mindless self-absorbed whores don't care about you. It seems like guys would want someone who makes them laugh, buys them tickets to their favorite team's NFL game, appreciates you for who YOU are, loves you for that. Doesn't b**** all the time. Will put out an effort to make you smile. Hold out for that one, seriously.

 

well, consider yourself lucky.. since most guys who post on this BBS about problems with women are usually involved in a divorce, child abduction, or some serious financial screw over.

 

I must have missed this group of females during my running amok days, finalsbound. I had numerous female friends, some that I had sex with, sex being something that happened, or not. Although I knew some girls who might fit your description of "b****es," they were a small minority. If anything, I knew a lot more bastards. Of course, I lived in a different era when I was 19.

 

No she's exactly right. I find that guys can be jackasses but they're pretty clear cut as to what they are and what they want. You usually can tell going in how a guy will be. Girls on the other hand can be as confusing and esoteric as can be, which just creates hell for any guy who wants a relationship because of all the mixed signals. One day things are great and the next day she comes to some inane revalation that ends the whole thing. Trust me this is all too common.

 

Man Deckard, my view of girls are so screwed up. I'm just really angry right now. My guy friends get their hearts broken a hell of a lot more than my girl friends do. Hell, my best friend is currently dating someone she admits she has no feelings for whatsoever. This guy is also a good friend and he thinks its a serious relationship. I just can't stand the games. Sure there are enough simple-minded bastards out there, who just use girls, but man...girls can be such dumbasses sometimes.

I always defend the women in arguments like this but I just can't do it with a straight face anymore.

 

So your best friend is being a **** to another good friend of yours. I remember when two of my closest friends split. I found out that she was seeing another guy, and my other friend knew nothing about it. Of course, I was expected to keep my mouth shut... on the one hand, and act like nothing was wrong on the other. I couldn't win. Eventually, the truth comes out, and everyone is irritated with you for saying nothing, or saying too much.

Now, years later, they both are married to other people, have kids, and are very happy. I hardly ever see them. Freaky how things work out. We can get so caught up in the moment, and a year later, wonder what all the fuss was about.

 

Dude, every guy deals with that kind of girl one time or another. Instead of feeling down, just remember that you're not alone. On the flipside, there's probably girls who like you that you don't even know exist. It just works out like that...

Trust is a tricky thing, but you can't use one or five cases like that to judge against all women. You try flavors until you find one you like. Don't give up eating.

When you have *********** like Paris Hilton, who thinks she's like Monroe or Princess Di and the girls who look up to her, it's definitely a different era. At least Britney Spears is turning out like a Saturday morning special.

 

darkwarrior,

you're only 19. you'll get over it. sounds harsh but she'll be in the back of your mind in no time.

i'm sure you're dating girls around your age. at this point they're immature. i don't think anyone, including guys, are looking for serious long term relationships. young gals like to have their fun just like us. they'll party, drink, looking for the "bad boy". it's when they get roughly 27 years old that they start to think about settling down. this is when their biological clock is ticking and they realize the bad boy isn't gonna be able to take care of a family. all of a sudden, they're getting old *ducks from finalsbound left hook* and no one will take them except that nice little guy they who's heart they broke 5 years ago.

 

Sounds like you'll be ok. Don't let this leave a bad taste in your mouth. Take things slow. When me and my ex first met, we were hungry for someone to fill an empty space. That doesn't always translate into a happy long relationship.

You do sound trust-worthy, just not trusting.

 

Best Post Ever...

Dating does suck, but you have to try and get out there...Its hard for me to trust people and I do find myself guarding my feelings as not to get hurt, but you know, sh*t happens...If you feel its worth it, go for it...You only live once...

 

Dating is fun when you're in your 20's, but it starts to really suck when you're in your 30's.

DW, you're 19. 19!!! You really shouldn't be looking for a serious relationship yet. Women that age have NO IDEA what they want. Like macalu says, they're just looking for a "bad boy". They have to grow up before they're ready for a serious relationship with a guy like you (ie. not a douchebag).

Play the field and have fun. That's what college is for. I know that sounds like a cliche, but it's really true. Most of us who are out would go back in a SECOND if we could. Enjoy it!

 

finalsbound, sometimes I worry about you, milady. Explain this one further, please:

Why always defend the woman? Even if she is wrong you defend her? Doesn't sound neutral. Is your friend ALWAYS the woman? Or have you not defended a guy friend just because he is a guy?

Deckard, I would tell my friend "hey, [friend], don't you think you're being an *ssh*l* to [my_other_friend's name]??" That would solve some of it if not all... honesty, man... honesty.

darkwarrior, I seem to either miss a piece of the events or something happened there that you wrote in code that I don't get. Did you two exactly declare love for one another, or did you just "like her like her" but not "liked her liked her" as a member of the opposite sex? I don't understand the events. What the heck could her best friend be doing with you and her in your dorm? Couldn't the friend leave you two alone? Did the term THIRD WHEEL not mean anything to the best friend? Sounds like the girl you liked wasn't really into you as much as you thought she was... you would have had her by herself, if she was into you that much.

EDIT: ima_drummer, I don't see anything wrong with wanting a serious relationship at 19.

So much for getting it bumped to the second page, dark.

 

at this point they're immature. i don't think anyone, including guys, are looking for serious long term relationships. young gals like to have their fun just like us. they'll party, drink, looking for the "bad boy". it's when they get roughly 27 years old that they start to think about settling down. this is when their biological clock is ticking and they realize the bad boy isn't gonna be able to take care of a family. -maculu

I just get defensive when you guys post stuff like that, only because I'm an exception to that philosophy, I'm 19 and I don't party or drink or have irresponsible sex or just live for what feels good. I have my man, and we both intend to value each other more than anything, wait til marriage to have sex, and we plan to stay together forever. I'm not thinking about "settling down" in the near future only because I want to get my degree and be able to help earn money.

I know that most girls my age are into exactly what maculu says. I just defend the kind of women who are like me and are not into that kind of stuff. I'm just getting sick of shallow girls.

 

Oh, I did all that. This was years ago, but it was a mistake to get involved. Usually, the people don't appreciate it.

 

didn't mean to offend. i just forgot the disclaimer: generally speaking.

 

Oh, I know, maculu.

I wasn't offended...I agree. I completely agree that generally speaking, girls that age are just immature and not looking for a serious relationship.

When you're young and male, you don't usually go around looking for long-term relationships. If you do want one though, there are plenty of awesome girls out there, they just may not catch your eye at first glance. Get to know people.

The exact same thing can be said to young women about men. Seriously, fulfilling relationships do exist, I just wish people (especially young people) would stop basing their feelings for others based solely on looks. There's so much more important stuff than that.