I have been divorced for about 7 years. I have two daughters ages 12 and 9 and I see them everyday. We have joint custody but my ex is the primary. She has been talking about moving out of town with the kids. I am very involved with their lives from coaching their softball teams to taking them to any other activity they are in. Now here is my question, from what I have heard, when a child turns 12 and their parents are divorced they can choose where they want to live. Is this correct? And what kind of process would it be. I need the CF lawyers help.
In my decree we have a domicile restriction. She can't move outside of Harris or the surrounding counties without my or the courts permission. Check to see if you have something similar. If you don't, it is going to get ugly. I am not lawyer but I do believe at the age of 12 they can decide. You will still have to go through the courts to do it and that is going to cost money. I say go get you an attorney ASAP and see what you can do proactively.
In my decree she can move, I am an idiot for not getting that part better. She "says" she will be getting married and move to Houston in about a year. I will get a lawyer, she knows about the law and says that the court has to prove her unfit, and I think that part is wrong.
There is an age where the kids can choose and I believe that it would be on her to prove that you are unfit. She is just trying to psyche you out hoping that you don't fight it. For some reason, through my experiences, women make this crap so much more difficult than is necessary. It costs everyone needlessly. Fight like hell though, it is worth it but I do not doubt that you know that already.
oh yes, my favorite subject! If you have been as involved as you say (good dad, child support current etc)and she has no particularly good reason to move then she is pretty much SOL. Judges dont agree to let families get separated this way unless there are extremely extenuating circumstances. (ie: parent can move wherever, kids remain)They do think about the kids first (most of the time) However, retain a lawyer and show her you mean business (i have an excellent board certified attorney to recommend if you need). The age may have gone to 14 (for kids to decide), havent checked the statutes in the last year. But you will have to go in front of court to do this (unless mother agrees) and you will have to have some good reasons to present along with the childs decision (judges hate to upset the status quo unfortunately) Read up (I'm sure you have already) http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa.toc.htm
Boy this brings back memories. My first wife and I separated in 1990; we had two kids aged 4 and 6. We lived in a great neighborhood with kids and friends. I gave her 2/3rds interest in the homeplace even though she was "still" in graduate school after 13 years of marriage. Post-doc she came to me with a "request" to move to her university town an hour away for "just" two years. She promised to move back at that time. That was 16 years ago. That 6YO just graduated from college. I had to burn the rubber up going back and forth just to stay involved. We had joint custory with her having primary physical custody. I had my kids half the weekends, half the holidays and half the summer. I never considered that she would move away because she wouldn't move away (back to Houston) when I wanted to....
The good dad part, yes. I have never missed one payment. Thanks for the website, it always helps to get extra info. I think part of the reason she is wanting to leave is that I am getting married in two weeks and she isn't.
Good luck, man! And remember, worst case scenerio, you follow Mom to where she moves. It'll suck, but being with your kids is probably worth it.
Lets say she did move, she would have to meet me halfway every 1st 3rd and 5th weekend, and every Wednesday.
I think if she moves, she has to deliver them to you and I'd fight for that until the cows came home just to be a prick.
Don't worry, she will catch hell. She doesn't know how good she has it here. I have been calm with her, she tries to pick fights bu I don't do it.
I know what you mean bro, I am so disgustingly nice to my ex just because I know it pisses her off. My favorite thing is that my child support was maxed out when we got divorced. Then about two months ago, I picked up a second consulting gig so I have two incomes coming in right now. And she can't get anymore child support from me even though I make twice as much money. AND THAT PISSES HER OFF LIKE NOTHING ELSE!!! On top of that, the "real man" that she left me for has turned out to be a bigger prick than I am. Wow, I just hate that. Now, while she is miserable with her knight in shining armor, my lovely Swede and I are going to Europe for two weeks. Sit on that and spin b****.
I love that, women leaving beacause they think the grass is greener. I just want to make it through my wedding without her trying to screw things up.
Well if she is anything like mine, I wouldn't hold my breath. If/when I decide to get re-married, I'm not telling her about it until after the fact. I know that there would be some sort of drama.
If your daughter got to choose which parent to stay with as primary, would she choose you? Have you talked to her about it? If she wouldn't choose you, what would be the point of bringing the whole thing up? It's a lot to ask a 12 year old to go to a court and tell one of her parents she'd rather not live with him/her.
