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Strangest thing you have said to your spouse or significant other

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by RunninRaven, Apr 25, 2006.

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  1. RunninRaven

    RunninRaven Member
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    Every once in a while, when I am talking to my wife, I stop to marvel at the odd thing I just said when it is taken out of context by itself. So I thought this might be a good thing to get from everyone on the board. Maybe you said it yesterday, maybe 3 years ago. Maybe this thread made you think of an odd thing to say and you are calling your wife right now to tell her something hilarious about her nipples. I don't know. But whatever it is, let us all know so that we might bask in its glory. Here's mine, uttered just the other day. I will let the circumstances remain a mystery (as you all should...but that's not really a rule if you want to explain it).

    "Oh yeah? Well, tell that to my lavender scented butthole."
     
    #1 RunninRaven, Apr 25, 2006
  2. crums17

    crums17 Member

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    "I'm going to kill you with a pumpkin bomb"
    -Dane Cook
     
    #2 crums17, Apr 25, 2006
  3. Castor27

    Castor27 Moderator
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    "You just stick it in and rotate it around until it thickens up." said over the phone as an explanation to an experiment I was preparing for in my class. It was overheard by 3 co-workers who were highly amused.
     
    #3 Castor27, Apr 25, 2006
  4. JuanValdez

    JuanValdez Member

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    "I'm going to kill you, you selfish b****!" The prosecutor kept trying to say that showed premeditation.
     
    #4 JuanValdez, Apr 25, 2006
  5. boomer83

    boomer83 Member

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    "The rule of thumb is..." :eek:
     
    #5 boomer83, Apr 25, 2006
  6. reggietodd

    reggietodd Contributing Member

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    I asked mine if she wanted a ride ride. She got pissed and then I told her to ^ "walk that sh** off!"

    :p
     
    #6 reggietodd, Apr 25, 2006
  7. plcmts17

    plcmts17 Member

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    Ok just to let you know first I was really really drunk when I asked this to my girlfriend. Anyway we were out with some friends and for whatever reason we start talking about circumcisions and I ask her in front of everybody matter of factly if I was circumcised (I'm not Jewish) and everyone just stops talking, her face gets red and then everyone just busts out laughing. :eek:
     
    #7 plcmts17, Apr 25, 2006
  8. macalu

    macalu Member

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    "you remind me of my sister."
     
    #8 macalu, Apr 25, 2006
  9. mateo

    mateo Member

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    "You know, now that I think about it, lets not bring her back to our apartment tonight."
     
    #9 mateo, Apr 25, 2006
  10. chow_yun_fat

    chow_yun_fat Member

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    "lets fck"
     
    #10 chow_yun_fat, Apr 25, 2006
  11. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Atomic Playboy
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    "I'm on a mission from God."
     
    #11 KingCheetah, Apr 25, 2006
  12. ClutchCityReturns

    ClutchCityReturns Member

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    It's not all that strange, considering the context, but I think it's worth a mention...

    "I hope he f.ucks you over in every way humanly possible, because that's exactly what you deserve you lying heartless biitch. You're f.ucking worthless."

    That was after she came home from working in Thailand for 5 months only to finally admit that she was leaving me for a guy she works with over there. Of course, she had denied for about 3 months that anything was going on with him. Yeah, she's a champ like that.

    I'm better off though. I see clearly now that she was not a good person, and that I deserve way better. But I'm glad I got that parting shot (and many others) in before we went our seperate ways.

    :D

    Now, of the strictly "strange" things I said to her, this one is probably up there:

    "I bet you never thought you'd be swallowing the black licorrice of 'that one guy that always comes in late to social work class', did you?".
     
    #12 ClutchCityReturns, Apr 25, 2006
  13. pgabriel

    pgabriel Educated Negro

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    you mean the painties your grandmother laid out for you.
     
    #13 pgabriel, Apr 25, 2006
  14. 3814

    3814 Member

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    "damn f***ing cockadoodle bob f***ing barker"

    -she canned me by accident-
     
    #14 3814, Apr 25, 2006
  15. Rox_fan_here

    Rox_fan_here Member

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    "Girl you wanna suck on my noonan"

    Seriously I even made a song about it and sung it too her to the tune of R Kelly's & Cassidy's Hotel.

    Its cool though, she is from Colombia and doesn't understand alot of stuff I tell her. Come to think about it I could fill up pages of this thread with crazy sh*t I tell her just because I know she won't know what the hell I'm talking about. If she comes to find half of what I say she would dump my @ss in a second. :D
     
    #15 Rox_fan_here, Apr 25, 2006
  16. Chance

    Chance Member

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    Last night my wife and I were watching the Astros and after 15 minutes of silence she said, "Do you think about sex while you watch baseball?"
     
    #16 Chance, Apr 25, 2006
  17. rrj_gamz

    rrj_gamz Member

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    Uh...clutch city moment?... Sounds like you did the right thing...can I have her number... :p

    I'm always saying random crap, so I have too many to list...

    At least none of you have said..."is that an adam's apple"...
     
    #17 rrj_gamz, Apr 25, 2006
  18. Rox_fan_here

    Rox_fan_here Member

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    Or "please tell me thats just a pimple..."
     
    #18 Rox_fan_here, Apr 25, 2006
  19. oomp

    oomp Member

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    "Chipotle and Smelly are locked up. You take Ratty out front and I'll run Jackass out back."
     
    #19 oomp, Apr 25, 2006
  20. bigben69

    bigben69 Member

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    "Suck my hairy balls"
     
    #20 bigben69, Apr 25, 2006
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