Given the potential offensive sexism of this article and the fact that to my knowlege no women have ventured into the D and D in many months, so none will be offened, I though it best to post in this forum, though the moderators should feel free to move it into the hangout. ************ Have you got the definitive derriere? 09apr06 FEW women would claim to have the perfect bottom. But for those in need of reassurance that it is within reach, a scientist has come to the rescue by working out a mathematical formula they believe adds up to the perfect posterior. The magical figures are (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V. Though the equation looks rather complicated, it is, according to the scientist, simple. It assesses shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry – all factors that add up to the bottom line. S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness. V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite. David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, England, devised the formula. He asked about 2000 women across Britain to assess their bottoms using a simple points scale. For example, those who believed theirs resembled a trodden doughnut scored just one point for shape, whereas those with a small peach scored the maximum five. Points were then entered into the formula and the closer a bottom scored to 80, the nearer it was to posterior perfection. "The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," Dr Holmes said. "Slender thighs and a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well perfectly." Dr Holmes said that Kylie Minogue, whose celebrated bottom relaunched her career with the help of a pair of hotpants, would almost certainly score a perfect 80. "Kylie would score amazingly well on sphericality and symmetry. Her bottom is pretty much perfect in these areas, more so than the likes of Charlotte Church or Jennifer Lopez, who have more curvy posteriors," he said. "While no one, of course, can be sure of the firmness and texture of Kylie's bottom, from the exposure it has been given in the newspapers it is obviously muscular and is likely to score highly in these categories also." Dr Holmes's research revealed that men and women had different opinions when it came to deciding on the best bottoms. While women preferred the larger, curvier behind of Lopez, men found Minogue's pert symmetry more agreeable. http://www.sundaytimes.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,7034,18752304^950,00.html
Sorry, old guys don't know how to do that fancy stuff and need many hours to learn. Maybe if my son comes home for Easter he can learn it then break it down for me.
If women's asses aren't the perfect topic for debate and discussion, I don't know what is. Oh, and the equasion is also known as the law of Shakira...
Damn, I have the Shakira video "La Tortura" permanently saved on the hard driveofmy TIVO I told my wife that watching it frequenly is helping me perfect my Spanish.
Whatever. People are impressionable tools. "The perfect _______" is whatever Hollywood, magazines, fashionistas, etc. want it to be.
Gwayneco does not like Shakira's derriere because it might not be white enough. Also she is part Lebanese, so some of her relatives might be Muslims.
This is perfect for D & D. I heard that the Republicans are going to try to get an amendment past opposing non-perfect derrieres.
Any illegal brown derrieres will be promptly deported. If anyone is caught helping or supporting an illegal brown derriere, they may do jail time. Shakira better have her green card handy.
Ask Sir Mix-A-Lot if he agrees with you. Black men have a VERY different standard than white folks on the booty front.
Does it make any sense to have a formula to determine a nice ass when the variables are set subjectively? Why not just look at a girl's ass and decide whether you like it or not? I trust the human brain to be much better at calculating aesthetics than this very simple math formula.
Kylie Minogue is my most ultimate favorite singer and celebrity, i absolutely adore her, and YES she does have the perfect butt. Most Americans don't know this, but worldwide Kylie is more successful and popular than Madonna, she kicks ass! If you can find or download some of her music videos, "Spinning Around" does a really awesome job on her butt, i think this clip is from the video. She is sooo hot! Oh, and she's recuperating from breast cancer, so you can keep her in your prayers too. Australian chicks rock![/IMG]
I don't know how to upload the image so try this link http://encyclopedia.laborlawtalk.com/wiki/images/thumb/7/75/200px-Kylieminogue.jpg