Jeeze, I feel like Manny starting this thread, but here goes... I was talking to some married friends over the weekend and we got to talking about how they met their husbands/wives. I was surprised to hear that most of their spouses didn't really fit the "type" of mate they had in mind before they met. It's making me ponder if perhaps I am being too picky when it comes to finding someone that I like. So, my question to all you married guys/ladies is this: 1. Did you have a specific "type" of person you were looking for before you met your spouse? and 2. Did the person you eventually married fit into that "type" or not? Please elaborate.
i'm attracted to a certain type, for sure. i don't see it as clearly as other people do. but people told me after i started dating the girl who is now my wife, "yeah, she's totally your type." i don't know if that helps or not...i didn't seek out a certain type...but found myself attracted to girls with similar qualities.
let's see... vagina - check stood upright - check didn't run away after meeting me - check Yep, she's pretty much the woman of my dreams...
I wouldn't say that I had a certain type, but I would say that there were certain people that weren't my type. When I met my wife, she definitely wasn't really my type. I'm really laid back and she was the total opposite, almost to the point of pushy. We really hit it off though and we enjoyed eachothers sense of humor and we were physically attracted. I probably never would have thought that I would marry someone whose personality clashed with mine, but now that we are married, we've both made compromise and our personalities don't seem to clash anymore, but instead they complement eachother. I couldn't be any happier with my marriage so far and we've got a baby on the way right now. I would definitely, definitely advise you not to look for a certain type. I would try to recognize certain things that you know that you wouldn't want in a married partner. For example, the girl that I was dating before my wife was a smoker, which only moderately bothered me at the time. Now that I'm married, I'm so happy that my wife doesn't smoke. I think that eventually, that would have become a deal breaker. I'd probably advise against excessive drug or alcohol use as well. Good luck!
Quantifying a woman, a mate? Right, good luck to that. I wasn't looking but found the woman with whom I have spect the last thousand decades, or so. I don't believe she was, either. So, let serendipity be your guide -- and expect to be thunderstruck. It goes downhill after 'I do', I do declare...
No, except to the extent that I knew general characteristics of who I was attracted to. And it does not go downhill for all. Deal with your personal issues and mature a little before getting married and find a mate just as sacure and you prob have a much better shot at a great marriage.
My wife couldn't be any more different than myself. I have long hair, earrings and a goatee and my wife is a lawyer that practices criminal law. She's logical and I'm freewheeling. We've been together for 14 years and married for 8. We like to joke that together, we make a really well rounded person. I wasn't ever looking for a "type". If you do that, Ms. Right just may slip right out from under your nose. In my case, we just found we had alot of similar interests despite our different paths.
My wife and I first met in college as friends as we both dated other people. We ran in the same circles throughout college and eventually co-hosted a series of parties together as we both seemed to enjoy similiar things. But since we dated other people, neither of us ever had a single hint of romance for each other. It wasn't until AFTER college when we broke up with our other relationships that we met each other again on a chance meeting. At THAT point, we both realized we were perfect for each other. There are still things about my wife that the teenager version of me wouldn't have gone for ...but as an adult I realized that she is perfect for me. I've never had a single regret. If you guys are good friends and genuinly enjoy spending time with each other, that is the basis for a great marriage. Sexual attraction will change, fade or alter over time so the relationship has to run deeper.
My wife and I met when we were 16, in high school. I barely knew her, and she asked me to the prom because a good friend of hers was going with a pretty good friend of mine. Anyways, I said yes, and we were married 6 years later.
I married what I thought was attractive. I get props from very very close friends saying I married a "hottie". Brunette, dark complected, petite. Yes, in many ways she was what I wanted, but in others (for example, sports enthusiast) was a minor detail. She is not that much of a die-hard fan of any team, but she doesn't despise sports. Occassionally, I will get the "why don't they just give each dude a ball so they don't have to kick each other" comment while I am watching soccer. Other than that, we're best friends. We met in college in a Student Services Organization (those are the last 3 leters of the organization's acronym).
That is where I am at. I am not really shallow, but if I am not attracted to the person, there is no future. I have met a few girls in the past few months, but I have not been attracted to them at all. The truth is that if I am going to be with the person the rest of my life, I need to as close to the complete package as possible. One girl I met recently was really cool, but dayum, she was just had too much meat on the bones. Hell, I couldn't even see the bones for all that meat. I kind of was regretting it, so I invited her over and she was dressed in a red top. All I could think of was a giant tomato. That doesn't make for a good relationship.
Thats exactly my thoughts as well... I wouldnt say I had a certain type before I met my gf/wife. But afterwards, many people have said that shes not the type I was always with in the past. Go figure though because this has been the cream of the crop......went a little away from "my type" and found the RIGHT girl for me. great advice
She had long golden hair and a beautiful face, so yes. But she was a little overweight when we first met , so no. But she jumped right in to my crazy life style (at that time) and has never said one thing to try to change me in 35 years, so yes. She was a California Hippie Chick at a Ft. Worth Christian University..what were the odds?
Man, firecat, you must have read my mind because this is the exact dilemma I have and the whole point of starting this thread. I met a girl this weekend who, much like your wife, is very outgoing and energetic to the point of sometimes being over the top. I, on the other hand, am a very laid back easy going person and this is pretty opposite of the way she seems to be. She likes to go out all the time (although she doesn't drink or smoke, which is good) and, while I like to go out sometimes, I also don't mind ordering in and renting a movie every now and then. The physical attraction is there for both of us, but I'm at the point in my life where I want more. Maybe I should just relax and see what happens. You're probably right about this. It's something to think about.
Wasn't really looking for a *type* wrt to looks. Was looking for a type wrt personailty though. And maybe looking for a woman with a below average number of issues.
no, but I somehow or another kept ending up with girls with varying shades of blondeness...normally a couple of years younger than me. I ended up marrying a tall brunette a couple of years older than me. edit...actually....I sound similar to oomp....basically hippie roadie type...she was a professional(middle management)...me laid back...her intense and vocal.
I'm also a musician, so I feel that I get my social life/going out stuff done while I'm working which makes me really just want to stay home on my nights off. It works out that she can go out and do her thing when she needs to, but that's not as often anymore. For most of the time that we were dating I didn't feel like I was ready to get married. I was concerned about being with one person for the rest of my life and whether or not marriage would work out or not because of our differences. It was a huge step to take since neither one of us consider divorce as an option. After years of running wild as a single guy musician, I can say that I am so happy now to be married. It's much more fulfilling than I thought that it would be and I couldn't be any happier. It's almost been a year and I feel like things are getting better and better. My advice is to not think about the type of woman you are seeing, but to think about how you would feel without her. Would you miss HER, or just miss having someone that you enjoy spending time with. Once I got to the point that I couldn't imagine being without my wife-to-be, I knew that she was the one that I wanted to marry.
My wife and I have very similiar personalities, but we're different enough to offset each other a bit. I think I actually spent a lot of time dating and looking for girls that I wasn't necessarily comfortable with all the time, and that's a trap that a lot of guys fall into I think. It's really important that you're good friends if you plan on spending the rest of your life with someone. Just find the hottest girl your good friends with and go from there. As far as does my wife fit my "type"? I'd have to say yes actually. Got lucky I guess.
