Many who somewhat know me, think of me as a gun nut, complete with customized attack jeep and a dedicated room for the interest...that may be true. But what is also true, is I find balance in my life, I love sports, I love movies, and sorts of various entertainment and the number one reason I find for living is my two daughters: age 6, and 5 now... My wife and I last season agreed to enroll them in the local fall soccer session. Not that I have enjoyed soccer, but to have them involved in an activity of teamwork, and plain ole moving around was a contention of doing what would be fun, and healthy (mental, and physical) for them. **The season starts** A funny thing happened, with the progression of practice during the week to the games on Sat....I got into it more than I thought I would. Eventually, you would see me standing up, yelling with excitement as if I was at a real professional game...BTW, where the kids play where I live in Smyrna, they use a vast network of large fields where several teams play, they have around 20 games going on in age groups and gender. they use names of countries as the the team name...For example, My oldest was on team: Scotland, the youngest on team: Butterflies (for some reason they were the only team that didn't use a country name) **Meet the coaches** You ever first meet someone, and you almost don't like them for some reason? This is how I perceived Joey,...I would come to not be happy that my oldest was randomly picked on this team. It was not unusual to have an assistant coach, as far as I could tell Joey was the only one with 2 assistants...Later we realized he was the league's "team coordinator", thus I at first tried to understand why he would be more into it than a other coaches. He dressed the part complete with silly shorts, crisp new cap and a whistle. The guy looked like he came from the military, and I got the feeling he didn't even have children. Parents can tell...My oldest was happy to be around the other girls, and was happy, yet I worried because I saw an unsettling trend in the way Joey ran the practice, and voiced himself. He intentionally seemed to be focusing his attention on the "better" players. BTW, most teams average 5 to 6 players, he had 8. My oldest one didn't seem to be getting as much instruction. It almost seemed as if she was just out there. After missing 2 practices for reasons that were legitimate, (the most allowed in the rule sheet without penalty), we got a call from him stating there were too many players and due to her missing too many practices, she may have difficulty "getting up to speed", he offered to exchange the uniform and put her on team "Australia" who only has 4 players. My wife seemed more upset and angry than me, but I said absolutely yes...My wife was upset that the 6 yr. old would be leaving "friends" she made, but I was more hopeful and relieved... **The Youngest vs. the Oldest** I love both my daughters equally, I have been told they both could pass as twins even though they are nearly 18 months apart. In fact, the youngest is almost as tall. They both have their good and not so good. The oldest is my plant eater. she is more like the mom in some ways, she is more considerate, nuturing, and still wants cuddling. She often asks about others and is more organized in keeping her room up... The youngest is the meat eater like her dad. She is stronger, and faster than the older, she like to "wrestle", and put elbows on my lower back. Right from the get-go, it was realized she was the best skilled out of her team. In fact, other girls from other teams could not catch up to her. The youngest sometimes didn't know what she was doing, but she was scoring the vast majority of the goals... **The new Coach - Outback style** The new coach was someone, I knew was the right fit for the oldest. His name was Randy too, so that didn't hurt. He looked like a coach, but not in the fit and trim sort of way. In fact, to my chagrin, he looked very similar to Micheal Moore in face and stature, but the differance in the way he ran practice and games was enlightening. He believed in fairness, he rotated positions equally, he showed more compassion in voicing encouragement or instructions. This felt right, in fact when the oldest got hurt on the field, he literally outran me, to get to her and check on her well being with concern... Suddenly I fully realized his style of teamwork and having fun was so much better than joey's emphasis on winning... Also Randy had a daughter on the team, but showed no preference at all just because of this...The oldest made friends with the lot, and this would have been a great ending to the darkside story, but it isn't... **Team?, what team?** The games were great, and the oldest seemed to be improving in skill, and confidence to my delight with the new coach. With the emphasis on team and having fun, we even won a majority of games. We had one player who was absolutely the most skilled. A little one named Arden. Her parents both were young, fit, and seemed supportive of the team. Till I realized a disconnect. At practices, the father stopped coming. Even at pratices, the mom told Arden she would jog around the field and be back. The other parents would huddle up, and talk to each other (even oddball ROXRAN)...It made me wonder. Till it all added up. **The visit** This was at one of the practices that I wasn't at. My wife said the "Scotland" coach: Joey came over unexpectedly around the team before it started, and said he was here just to briefly visit my daughter and see how she was doing... The real reason is his eyes were plainly set on scouting Arden, and he was heard saying to arden's mom that he has a separate devolopment league she might be interested in. Coaches, cannot handpick players, but parents can request. Coach Randy and his wife (as an assistant coach) kept gaving Joey dirty looks and my wife said the tension was there...Apparently Joey and Randy don't get along. I didn't know this. **The last 2 games** The next to last game was us against Scotland. It was the one game I looked forward to, because I wanted us to win, mainly I wanted the girls to just have fun but Scotland was undefeated, this was my daughter's former team and for some reason AFTER claiming he had too many players, he now had one extra than before! His team had the most players and the most coaches of anyone in the league. The coach's daughter on my daughter's team got a very hard elbow to the nose which put out a bit of blood on her face, my daughter seemed so concerned she almost wanted to quit. It was a bonafide accident, but Joey's team did seem to play rough. They hung near even till the end, until 3 consecutive goals from them sealed it. It was a loss all of us could be proud of, and we proclaimed to the the girls that they all won in reality because they did there best shorthanded. The last game, we won, but the ending was sad and bittersweet. Coach Randy put Arden in at a crucial time as a goalie, and not on offense. This so infuriated her father that the Dad was screaming at the coach. I couldn't hear, but I felt embarrassed. I was near the other end, and while this was going on, Arden got distracted, and the other team easily scored. After, the exchange Arden's defense turn was over, and she made the last two goals to edge the win. After the game like so many we huddled and the coach called the girls over to thank them for a wonderful season, and that next Sat. would be outing at Chuck E. Cheese to give the trophy and the pictures on disc and a collage he arranged of the whole team. What exchange went on, I don't know in clarity, but Randy stated Arden would not be at the get together that Sat., and my wife and I noticed Arden was basically left off the collage he put together on the disk he gave to all the parents. **What I have learned from this** I want my daughter's to feel like they are having fun, sans winning, and they both want to continue this Spring signup, but I have learned the right coach is important, and I hope Coach Randy will still be available for the age group. My youngest seems to have real promising skills, but the last thing I want is for her to state like Arden did that "she is the best", and sidestep the team game, or have parents that encourage this. My hope is the less Joey's out there the better, but we shall see...
wow... what's with all the politics and favoritism... these are little girls, for goodness' sake... I'm just surprised that the pressure starts so early for athletes, at an age when you should clearly be giving everybody an equal chance and focusing on teamwork, learning the game, and having a good time. I know at least there are some decent coaches out there and it can be a positive experience for your daughters. It just always amazes me what kind of people go way overboard with these things.. they're not going for college scholarships or a place at the Olympic trials, they're 5- and 6-year-olds. Our society shouldn't be that competitive, especially with children.
Adults with inferiority complex's trying to live out their lives through five and six year olds. Unfortunately it's not that uncommon. There are three reason's people coach: 1) To be part of what their kids are doing 2) A genuine love for teaching and helping children 3) Fill some kind of inferiority void in yourself Their or too many people doing the latter
The fish rots from the head down in these things. If the guy that runs the league is an ultra-competitive ego maniac who sharks other teams players and is only looking out for number 1, chances are that the league will not be fun. I had a similar experience playing little league basketball.. Eff the Joeys.
Joey should be introduced to Kimbo Slice and as he walks off after a pummeling, Triple T(Terrible Terry Tate) should show up and blindside him.
Horrible, just horrible. I coach my oldest son's soccer team and basketball team. My youngest son is not old enough yet. At that age, playing for fun and making friends is far more important than winning. My teams are the best passing teams out there..... This year in basketball, it is for first and 2nd graders, we had one excellent player whose parents decided they wanted him to move up.... Well it is a Christian league and the teams are balanced based upon a preseason evaluation...he was the only boy that could dribble.... So, my assistant coach and I knuckled down, got the parents together and went for extra practice.....the boys are MUCH better now, and having a BLAST playing. Also, every year we have the end of the year bash and find people that might be fun to hang out with....but lose track of after the teams break up. So, we had a party after week 2's games, and have another scheduled in 2 weeks....the boys are MUCH better now that they are actual friends. I love coaching....but leaving work early sometimes is a pain...but all worth it. DD
I always thought the dark side of soccer was trying to keep your hands off all those hottie soccer moms...
Coming from someone who has played the game for 26 years (competitvely for 21 of them) FFPS would definitely be the way to go. They don't keep score or records. Of course, there are always the loser parents who do it anyway. When my son is old enough, this is how he will start off. The story is not one that is uncommon. I was a trainer (paid coach) in The Woodlands for years. I would see this happen on a daily basis. I never actively recruited another team's player. If they wanted to play for me, that was their decision. It's a shame that people think in a competitve aspect for children that young. Why can't they just have fun? Why does it have to be about anything else? It really makes no sense to me.
for young kids, "just for fun" is cool but i think it's still important to keep score. it's a learning process that involves teaching your kids that losing isn't the end of the world. it makes one strive to be better and to overcome "failure".
I know what you're thinking... a Soccer thread without SwoLy-D? Never fear. SwoLy's here. That friggin' story takes a whole day to read. More feedback later. My oldest tried FFPS. We liked it. No pressure. No screaming ape parents. No competitiveness. Fun? Yes. Too bad my daughter didn't like losing most her games. I'm like: "You had fun, right?" She's all: "Uhhh, yeah, but WE LOST, DAD? Hello?"
This makes me glad I work at the Y where it's ALL about having fun. Sure it gets competitive, but for the young kids especially, no emphasis is placed on winning, and I think thats good for that age group. But even then, I still see some coaches and teams take things really seriously. Some I see screaming (and not just in a way to get their attention) at their players on the field and I'm thinkin to myself why? For kids these age the best thing you can do is to give them encouragement. Who cares if they screw up. I've even had coaches go off on me for calls that don't go their way.
