I read this some time ago and found it quite funny, but didn't post it. Now since there is really nothing to cheer about, maybe this can bring smile to some of you. It is said when the Rockets were visiting LA, Yao, Mobley and Rudy dined out together. Then they made a call to their old buddy Francis. Francis was in Washington DC and saying he was getting married. Yao said, "How can you get married? Cat is here." Hope it is not already posted...
The rox went to a buffet, and Yao offered to get Mutumbo his food because Dike wears pants. Before he left, he asked Dike "Do you want me to toss your salad?" Dike laughed and said "yes yao, come sex up mutumbo my big yellow panda." then yao laughed and said " haha you got me, I don't want to touch your old smelly ass. It is probably filled with leaky stripper herpes. Ask the soup commander, he could do something to keep job." Dike and Yao look at JVG. JVG has mean face with baggy eyes. Sura faints.
I guess this means I never grew up, but that is the funniest damn thing I've read this year. I can't stop laughing.
I've got a better one, the Rockets BLEW OUT the Mavericks tonight. THis brought more of a smile to my face.
When Luther Head joined the rockets, the first thing he was told by new teammate Tracy Mcgrady was, "Hey, welcome to the team, but watch out for Dikembe: he knows magic." Not understanding what this meant, he continued on his merry way. He then bumped into Juwon Howard. "Hey Juwon!" the bright-eyed rookie said. "Hello, and that's Mr. Howard, to you. Hope you are as good as they say you are. If so, you should fit in just fine here. Only thing, don't mess around with Mutumbo, he knows magic." Juwon said. Again, having no clue what this meant, Luther continued on to the court. Stretching on the side of the court, he bumped into Moochie Norris. "Hi Moochie! Can I stretch with you?" the young Head asked. "Yo man.. listen....quick, I don't want you to hear...don't piss off, I say, DON'T piss off Mutombo, man. Don't you dare.... just don't do anything, man, don't screw with a guy who knows magic!" Thinking Moochie and the others were just playing a joke on the rookie, Luther again shrugged it off. After warming up, Luther was hitting his shots, he was feeling confident and pumped with energy. He was driving past Derek Anderson and got a few steals off of Stromile Swift. That's when Dikembe Mutombo stepped on the court. Instantly, the other Rockets left to practice on other baskets. "Hey Rookie! You think you can score on me???" Said Dikembe. "I don't think I can, I know I can." Said the much smaller Head, brimming with confidence. Deke passed him the ball, and full of energy, Head drove to the hoop and dunked, two handed, over the aging Mutombo. A hushed silence fell over the gym, even Van Gundy was woken from his medicated haze and perked up to watch the events unfolding in front of his goggy eyes. Dikembe shouted, "Do you not know anything Rookie???? I am Dikembe Mutombo!" Head shouted back, "So what? I just dunked on you! What are you going to do? some silly 'magic' trick on me??? Huh???? You're pathetic!" Dikembe looked at him like an insect, "Huh, you want to see magic? ok, I show you some of my magic." "Come here Rookie, and turn around." Luther, cautious, but unafraid approached Dikembe and turned around. "Now bend over." Luther did just this. Before he could react, he felt his drawers drop and something painfully enter his @**#()!&. Dikembe said, close to his ear, "Do you feel my thumb in your rectum?" Head, eyes squinting, trying to hold back his tears, "yes..." At that moment Dikembe waved his two giant thumbs in front of Luther's face. "TA DAAA!!!!"
