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For all the married men out there....

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Behad, Jul 28, 2001.

  1. Behad

    Behad Member

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    ....here's a little email humor I got today. Enjoy!

    PS. Of course, none of this applies to Mrs. Behad! [​IMG]



    I married Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
    ____________
    I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
    I don't like to interrupt her.
    ____________
    Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
    Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
    ____________
    The last fight was my fault.
    My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
    ____________
    In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then
    God created man and rested. Then God created woman.
    Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
    ____________
    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
    ____________
    What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
    About 5 drinks.
    ___________
    A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on
    Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four
    days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had
    your will power."
    ____________
    Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
    Two mothers-in-law.
    ____________
    Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of
    Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
    Dad: That happens in every country, son.
    ____________
    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
    Next day he received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
    ____________
    The most effective way to remember your wife's
    birthday is to forget it once.
    ____________
    First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
    Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
    ____________
    How do most men define marriage?
    An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
    ____________
    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
    through life thinking they had no faults at all.
    ____________
    If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided
    attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
    ____________
    Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
    happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.."
    ____________
    A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
    it cost to get married?"
    And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.."



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    It looks like a veteran can Be had.
     
  2. hitman21

    hitman21 Member

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    That's good stuff.

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    the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be.
     
  3. Dr of Dunk

    Dr of Dunk Clutch Crew

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    I'm single and I'm laughing my butt off at some of those... [​IMG]

    As an addition, if you guys haven't heard "The Man Song", it's hilarious. The lyrics, .wav, and real audio file can be found here :

    http://people.a2000.nl/pamend/mansong.html

    I'm sure some of your wives will appreciate it. [​IMG]

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    "Colson makes a mockery of the PG position. It's like he's out there playing 1 on 9." -- pippendagimp with some candid player evaluations.
     
  4. fadeaway

    fadeaway Member

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    Tee hee hee.

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    All hail Fadeaway's Cyberfish -- your 2000-2001 BobFinn* Fantasy Basketball League Champions!
     
  5. rockHEAD

    rockHEAD Member

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