Ok, I have seen some threads on here from people who need help with a relationsip and seen some good avice. Never ever thought I would post here about advice but here I am: Ok, here we go: I met this girl, we shall call her Spurs girl, on Eharmony. She told me she was a good Christian girl, never kissed on the first date, been broken with her dude that she has been with for 4 years in July, 21 years old, among other things. Well we chatted on Wed and Thurs, talked on the phone on Fri, and hooked up on Sat for the World series. I took her over to my friends house. We held hands and I kissed her on the cheek throughout the night. In the middle of the game we went outside and I asked her when I could see her again, her reply was if I was lucky. Well, at the end of the night, she asked to see me again. I replied to her, "Only if you kiss me", knowing about the never kissed on the first date rule. Well, she was all over me. Sunday we went to the movies, and the same thing. She was all over me and hinting she wanted me to ask her to be my GF. We talked all night, then saw eachother on Monday, when I asked her. Again, she was all over me. When she left my house, she called me up and asked why I didn't feel up on her. I told her out of respect. She asked if she turned me on and I said yes. That night, her ex-man got on her messenger and asked who I was. I told him who and that we were together. I got all pissed of and called her that night and told her what happened. Apparently she never changed the account they shared. Fine, she made it look like no big deal. Well, Tuesday, I invited her over to my house for a BBQ. She met my family and it was cool. We took it to my room and again, she was all over me. It got so heavy that she invited me over to her house and I said no. I told her that I thought she didn't believe in sex this fast in a relationship. She told me it was a just a vibe and I have to be careful with that. Well, Wed, she text me like 60x, saying things like, do you miss me, do you want me....so I was texting back some crazy things too. Finally she asked me If i wanted to make love. Then, she started telling me what she wanted me to do and all this other stuff. She came over, again, for the fifth day in a row and again, we made out big time. Then we had sex for like two minutes, before we got interrupted and she took off mad. At the time, I didn't know she wasn't mad. She told me she was mad because things shouldn't have happened that fast and I was two levels above her realionship wise. She must have sent me the wrong signals. I took things that she said out of context. Well, I talk to her today and she tells me that she's not use to the way I do things in comparision to her ex-BF. Also, they had a lot of hot and steamy sex (crazy)and her family loved him. I am just completely different from what he was. He has a masters degree in engineering that he got in 4 years (?), he has money, and all this stuff. Apparently, Spurs fan is an accountant at Weatherford, she didn't go to schoool, and she used to be Junior CFO at some other company and her family is rich. She says that I have a pefect personality, everything she would want in BF, but her family isn't going to like me b/c I am not rich, don't have a degree, and am not her Ex-dude. She says she needs time to get though the differences between me and her ex-dude and her family. She also said she knows she sounds shallow b/c she knows she needs to also work out that her family is probably not going to like me and she dosn't know if she is ready for that. She's text me telling me not to call her, or anthing, but she has called me the last 3-4 days. Now she has a big ego, saying that she will make her husband happy. She's says she's a good girl, who has only had sex with one dude, she cooks and cleans, has a good job with lots of money and will make somebody very lucky. She also says the same things about her ex dude but claims she is not in love with him anymore. She says he is indecisive about marriage and that is the reason they are separated. Now, do I stay, or go? If you have any questions, please ask, me as this is not everything. Just didn't want to make it longer than it already is.....
damn, thats alot of drama in the less than a month... i say this, if you can deal with it this time and probably will happen again, stay with her. If she really means alot to you in which you'd wait for her and be patient with her, then stay. If this is all you can handle, then let go. Believe me its going to be pretty consistant, if not worse. as for being "up" there with the ex-bf, dont worry bout that, that'll be the least part of your worries, the girl and her family would understand everything can't be perfect
Yeaping yiminies!! If a girl is text messaging you 60 times or more in a day, do you really want that? Sounds like this girl is high-maintenance and her life is filled with drama. I guess if she is hot enough and you don't have a problem with receiving a broken heart, then go for it. But I would stay away, man.
First bad sign : Spurs fan Second bad sign : Her ex is still on her mind Third bad sign : She can't make up her mind Unless she is freaking hot and you feel the two minutes of doing it and the constant making out is worth it then why not, but the potential aggravation of her blowing hot and cold isn't worth it in my opinion.
Yeah, she is high maintenance. She was also on the debate team and is calling me out everytime I talk to her. She is honestly the smartest girl I ever talked to LOL. Its crazy. SHe says she keeps calling me for general conversation. I asked her if she was playing games and she replied "I'm not, but if I was you would never know. I am that good". WOW!!
Nice cheap shot...reminds me of the Nadia and Jim bedroom scene in American Pie. I don't think we can give a real objective opinion without pics... Ok...really, my take...she's stringing you along like a yoyo, it's all about her, she's a bigger slut then she's letting on, and get as much as you can if it's that good...then drop her like a bad habit... Please watch "In the Company of Men" if you need inspiration.
She's toying with you big time. You're ****ed unless you dump her now and make her come crawling back. Relationship roles have to be established right off the bat or someone is going to become the b****.
Just my humble opinion... If a girl/woman has been in an exclusive relationship with one man from the age of 17 to 21, she is pretty clueless about the dynamics of male-female relationships. Her sum total of understanding comes from this past relationship, what her parents' relationship is like and (unfortunately) what the entertainment industry presents as a "functional" relationship. Personally, I'd take a hard look at what she sees from her parents. She appears to be way too much into drama for me. I'd be very cautious...better to walk away now than be really hurt later when dealing with someone who is not very emotionally developed.
She lied to you on her profile. You probably lied to her on yours (why would you emphasize the "good Christian girl" part and then not live up to it on your end unless you're a dick?). She lied to you about the kissing. She lied to you about sex. She lied to you about the boyfriend (sharing accounts is so 1995). She is lying to you about you being perfect (there's no way to know that in "5 dates", one week, or whatever the heck your short time frame is). She is full of it. Get the hell out.
I normally dont post in relationship threads, except to say post pictures, and then we/I can help. She sounds like a keeper if she wasn't such an *******. She seems like a high maintenance *******. She said she was a good Christian I suppose, and she doesn't kiss on the first date, and all that stuff, and doesn't put out, and all that stuff. Obviously, she does. She may be a compulsive liar. CFO of a company? how big? Check out her background. Ask around about her. If it turns out okay, be a little patient. If it comes back negative, try to hit it with her in the sack one more time, and then dump her. by the way, post pictures of her.
No...you got the right signals. She just doesn't know what she wants and blames you for her actions. The thing is, if you roll over and start being the nice guy, she will dump you. If you're consistent with the jerk routine, she'll dig you even more. Maybe because she's trying to rebel from her parent's expectations or her percieved expectations she's putting on herself. She brings up the boyfriend thing a lot because unconsciously, she doesn't want marriage right now even though "she claims" he checks out with all aspects her life. Whatever the reasons, you=rebellion. You're that right mix of kissing on the first date without being a total creep who just wants sex. This means, she's not ready for a long lasting relationship at the moment (meaning she could change if you hold up for 5 years or whenever she grows up), but if you're in for inconsistent hot and stormy sex , it wouldn't hurt to witness another perspective in women....
