Houston, TX - Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Reliant Stadium Houston Texans football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. The Texans head coach immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
Wonder if the 610 guys will get all high and mighty with this joke like they did with the beating/kid one. I wanted to call in and remind them that they were the station that makes fun of a mentally challenged guy, but didn't.
but funny. Yeah, it's been around for a while... so has: ================ A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a [insert team name]'s jersey, helmet, and is festooned with [insert team name]pom poms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that they will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the [insert team name] receiving the kickoff. They march downfield, get stopped at about the 30, and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving a high-five to everyone. The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?" "I don't know," replies the owner. "I've only had him since last season." ===============
Ok, how about this one ________________________________________________ Little Danny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up...fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. Danny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offers really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for some money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little Danny aside to ask him, "is that really true about your father?" With teary eyes... "No," said Danny, "He plays for the Houston Texans, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "200." "That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!" Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the lady answers, "145" "That is great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!" Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "50." Albert responds, "How about them Cowboys?"
Here's one I just though up based on an old Cowboys joke... Why does Reliant Stadium have a retractible roof? So God can close it whenever the Texans play...
