You Can Tell It's Going To Be A Rotten Day When...

You wake up next to Karl Malone and Greg Ostertag is in your kitchen making breakfast.

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Ceo of the Walt Williams and Lisa Malosky fan club.


atheistalliance.org

 

DEANBCURTIS

ROTFLMAO,

All it would take for me is to peep open an eye to see Ostertag's teeth in a glass on my night stand, and hear him say from the other room, wake-uuuuuuup I rewound Spartucus and bought some more oil.

[This message has been edited by heypartner (edited May 25, 2001).]

 

lol -- thanks heypartner, now I'll be having nightmares for weeks . . .

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"Down South is where I stay, switch four lanes, . . . from the Antoine to the MLK, these H-Town boys like to swang and bang"
- Mista Madd feat. Yungstar and Slim Thug - "Down South"

 

You Can Tell It's Going To Be A Rotten Day When...

You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your hat.
Your bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your cousin.
Your income tax check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your pet rock snaps at you.
Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.

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I always thought "With my talent, it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered". Now I think "With my talent, it's only a matter of time before I'm found out".

 

You wake up to your 8-yr old screaming and see the cat at your pillow covered in cooking oil, bird feed, and feathers licking blood from his paw. ...?cooking oil?....ugh

You wake up hungover to someone with a paper bag on their head.

As you are heading to church seeing menacing black clouds forming rapidly overhead, you notice what looks like the entire city heading to church.

You wake up to find your wife painting the house like you've been promising for 12 months.

You wake up to a news story that some man has locked himself in the nuclear reactor control room, and find behad has 1055 more posts in this thread.

Your mother-in-law is standing at the foot of your bed staring at you.

Your dog is licking something out of your hair.

Your local coffee shop refuses service until you go back home to comb your hair and shave.

[This message has been edited by heypartner (edited May 25, 2001).]

 

So, thats what Behad likes doing in his free time!



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burp

 

That's right, Pimp, between a backwards bra and my dress stuck in my pantyhose, well it just doesn't pay for me to get out of bed!

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I always thought "With my talent, it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered". Now I think "With my talent, it's only a matter of time before I'm found out".

 

You know it's gonna be bad for a while if <a href="http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/asia/story/0,1870,45091,00.html">this happens</a>.

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blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

 

I hate to think where they actually shot up the injection.



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Sell crazy someplace else. We're all stocked up here...